Author Topic: Please help me decide whether to move DD to a pre-school  (Read 2102 times)

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Offline ginger428

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Re: Please help me decide whether to move DD to a pre-school
« Reply #15 on: September 08, 2016, 17:51:58 pm »
It still might be best at the daycare if A expresses enjoyment and seems content.

I have the same concerns as you regarding social interaction with peers, and even more concerned at times about social interaction with other kids/babies at all since he's an only child so far and i'm home. But, that's our circumstance and besides play dates, an occasional group or class, and Sunday school, it's just him and me...and I'm ok with it or have to be. Haha.

Maybe there is someone you know who home schooled or was/is a SAHM with multiples and can get their perspective on social development? Would be even better if they knew Athena.

I really don't think there is a wrong choice though. I think A will be resilient and adapt to whichever situation. I don't think her longterm social skills will hinge on either scenario. As the nurturing, attentive and strong mom I have known you to be is what will forge her social abilities. :)

Maybe you can do a family hoorah of sorts and let DH, DS, and even A weigh in a little and make it a family decision?

Offline Katet

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Re: Please help me decide whether to move DD to a pre-school
« Reply #16 on: September 08, 2016, 21:10:47 pm »
The 3 year old boy was moved to a pre-school so there is now only DD 26 months old, a baby girl 7 months old and a new baby boy 3 months old. DD still loves going and happily marches in there but I start to really feel that she does not get the stimulation that she needs. 

She's 26mo, the stimulation is there, if she is happy, it doesn't have to be from older children etc, there is a huge issue within schools with the idea (from parents) that the only way children are extended is by more or next step work etc... the reality is that the best extension is actually in "mastery" & "teaching" which is where they skills they have are used to show others how to do it etc... ie a child who is really good at times tables working out a way to help a child who is struggling, will actually develop better skills long term than a child who's moved on to more advanced Mathematical concepts.

When we pulled Ds1 from daycare at 28mo (because I wasn't going back to my job) I did heaps & heaps of research on the social side... 4yo is the age that peers start to matter. DS1 went back & started preschool at 4.5yo (to the day) before that we'd done Library, swimming, & a sports group, but he really had no interest in other children... by 2 months in he loved playing with the children & he absolutely wasn't behind on his social skills etc - in fact long term he's done better than children who were in daycare from much younger ages (could be many reasons, but the fact he was in a big centre when he was "wanting it" (ie we increased the days because he wanted to go so much) made a huge difference/

 At 32months old we tried DS2 in a daycare (I did contract work from home at night etc so I was at home with them) because DS1 was in preschool & DS2 had lost his play mate... it was HORRID, DS2 started biting his brother, he we his bed etc... it was too much he was happy with just the Library & swimming lesson then  at 3y8mo when he started preschool he was better, but it really took until he was about just over 4yo before he started to make friends & be social before that he just sort of hung... this is the child who at 11yo has a busier social life in a month than an A list celebrity! 

The Scandinavian model of daycare (family groups of 4-6 children of multi age with one carer in a centre) has shown that children actually do better in that environment than a whole group of 3yo who are all at the egocentric age.

I personally think you need to listen to your DD's happiness at where she is at & block out the big business daycare noise that says  she's missing out & go with the fact she's happy with where she is & keep her there. At 2yo connections to an adult are about 100 times more important than playing with another 2yo (or rather playing sitting next to).

dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline Shiv52

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Re: Please help me decide whether to move DD to a pre-school
« Reply #17 on: September 08, 2016, 21:29:40 pm »
I took redundancy when I had my DD1 so my kids were just at home with me until they started school at 4yo. Before then they were just with me. I totally agree with Kate that daycare and peers is just not necessary.   

I think these decisions are totally child dependent. My kids both skipped into school. My friends little boy had to start daycare as she returned to work and he hated hated hated it but no choice. He has been crying every day since starting school last week.   Her other son who is younger Loves daycare. Truly loves it. Just different children need different things yk? 

I don't think one is better than the other. I genuinely believe children need different things.

Hugs xx





Offline ginger428

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Re: Please help me decide whether to move DD to a pre-school
« Reply #18 on: September 09, 2016, 01:27:10 am »
Kate, thanks for sharing. Good info. to know.
I agree with Shiv, totally child dependent.... A may love daycare. If the peer interaction isn't an issue anymore though, will you keep her where she is or what else are you thinking?

Are other factors all the same? ...finances, schedule, etc...

Offline Katet

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Re: Please help me decide whether to move DD to a pre-school
« Reply #19 on: September 09, 2016, 08:32:33 am »
Today I went to a Charity Lunch for the organisation that provide "baby help" ie sleep & feeding help for Mothers in our State. At the event a Neonatal Paediatrician spoke. He's written some books & he said a few things I wish I knew about when I had babies. So I went to look at his Website. This was on his Blog  - https://www.babydoc.com.au/7127-2/
" Humans are amongst the most social species on the planet. We have been honed by countless generations of ancestors who selected themselves to reproduce by their ability to socialise. It doesnít need to be trained into us. Itís inherent.
In our first couple of years we need to learn security and confidence with our parents (especially mother) and loved ones. We learn love from the people around us who love and interact with us. Strangers donít count.
This Ďemotional intelligenceí is the bedrock of our personality and underpins our ability to learn. Itís how we learn how to learn.
Cognitive functions like learning colours, numbers and how to label objects are of secondary importance.
Children do not play with each other or benefit from their company until three years old. Until then, they steal each otherís toys and walk on each other. Other kids are just objects.
So childcare is not a necessity and itís certainly not advantageous, unless the home is bereft of stimulation and devoid of love.

If childcare is needed to allow the mother to work, itís fine (but choose the best you can, with the best child/carer ratio). But letís not pretend that itís recommended to make a better child."


While I think that it is a little lacking in sympathy for the actual need of people to have child care because of Society's needs for income earning, I think the point is the industry of childcare is also driving society to feel children "miss out" if they aren't going & that's not the case.
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05