24 months old suddenly regressed

[Jess_C]

Hi
My son used it be the kind that I could put to bed and self settled. He regressed when we travel but I always been able to train him back by shsh at the door. But this recent regression caught me by surprise. For a week now he suddenly just won't self settle, both naps and night time. But night is worst. When I leave the room he ll scream. I hv been saying night night / shsh for an hour every night for a week plus and I don't see any progress. In fact, he even started waking up at night every 3/4 hrly. Sometimes a quick sh he is fine and sometimes I hv to sh in his room for hours. I really don't know what to do. I feel like giving up like all these sleep training is not working. Please help me.

[Scottishmummy]

Hi there!

It could be a sleep regression which often happen around birthdays and half birthdays in toddlers. Or teething? If it is either of those then keep going with your shhh at the door, and walk in/walk out if you need to and it will pass.

The other option could be time for a routine tweak? I found that the birthdays and half birthdays also coincided with routine changes & nap transitions  for my DS. Could you post his typical routine (wake up, nap and bedtime)?

[creations]

Agree with pp.

Also, at times like this where I have had call backs for up to an hour and my DS is not sleeping I have chosen to put to bed 30-60 mins later. While it might not be ideal for his routine I generally feel that with my DS it has helped him settle more quickly and at least I am not getting frustrated for an hour.  Once the regression. birthday/ development passes he usually just returns to normal bed time and normal self soothing. I've done this a few times now and it does seem to help for us.

[Jess_C]

His typical routine looks like this

Previously was wake up 8 am, nap 1 to 3, bed 8 pm


Now his routine is

Wake 7.15 nap 1 to 3 and bed time is 9.30 coz takes me an hr or so for him to fall asleep.

I tried keeping him up a bit. No difference.  Am not sure if tweaking routine will help.

Feel is more separation anxiet as he is extra clingy. I don't hv a good feeling about this. Already been a week.

Last night was bad, he woke at 2am I had to sh not long , then again at 4 ,6 . Don't he need to sleep? By 7 I tried to sh back cause I know he is still tired. But he won't go back. And am too tired to shsh

[Scottishmummy]

Could it be the start of the 1-0? Have you tried waking him earlier from the nap? It might be that he's not quite tired enough to go to sleep at BT, but then getting overtired, giving you a bad night.

Here's a link that might be useful- see section on napping but refusing BT:
The 1-0 transition...Advice and Tips to help you through.

[Jess_C]

Sorry for the late report, I was away  without bub for a few days and that made separation anxiety worst. Is still the same drill really hard putting to bed. I did sh sh by side if his bed at bedtime if really hysterical I would put my hand briefly is almost a finger at times bad he settles quickly. He really just need me to me there regardless of whatever tweak I made in his routine. During the day he is sleep extra clingy and possessive. Nobody can touch me not even dad or my elder daughter.

During the night he would wake up once, and I would go in put my hand or sh and he ll settle back . He somehow just can't self settle and I really dunno what to do.

[Jess_C]

I wonder if he wakes at night knowing I ll go in.? I initially thought sh sh behind the door won't be a habit but it sometimes also feels like one. I hv tried walk in walk out but I didn't even walk out for long and he was so hysterical till he throw up .

I suppose I need to do it gradually but yet can't stay too long. How often do u all stay in the room when walk in ? And when do u go back in?

[Scottishmummy]

Hi,

It does sound like WI/WO might be a helpful approach. It is recommended for getting back on track when sleep is disrupted by SA.

I'll try to find you the link explaining the approach but there isn't a set time for staying in or out the room, it depends on your child. When I've used it, I've stayed in room until my LO is calm then walked out and continued to walk out if they start to cry BUT I've stayed right on other side of door listening. If the cries seem to be escalating, I go back in. WI/WO isn't CIO, there is often some crying but you listen and respond. Sometimes cries seem to settle, sometimes they escalate and you always respond to escalating cries before the LO is really really worked up.

Here's the link: Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)
HTH Please come back if you want to chat through more

[Martini~]

And could you say more about his routine changes? One day with a later BT or shorter nap won't help. So let's check what have you tired and we might help more.

[Jess_C]

Hi

In terms of routine changes, I have tried pushing bed time by an hr, tried bringing forward Didn't work.

[creations]

Is he still napping well? 2hrs from 1-3pm?

[Martini~]

And how long did you try with a later BT, have you just pushed it at once and waited 7-10 days or you were introducing changes slowly?

[Jess_C]

Yes he still naps for 2 hrs at 1 to 3pm. I pushed the bed time at one go from 8.30 pm to 9 pm . Not really by choice, just happen with us going out and all.

[Martini~]

So it was only one day?

[Jess_C]

A few days actually his bedtime was ard 9 plus cause of all the Christmas festivities.

Today I woke him at 8.30 am and he nap from 1 to 3 pm . And I start to put him to bed at 8.45 pm and spend 30 min sh sh and saying night night at door for 30 mins. I think he slept around 9.15 pm. Let's see how the night goes.

My gut feel is separation anxiety but is been almost a month, gotten worst cause I had to go overseas last week. Strange thing is while I was away for 6 days. Towards the end of the trip, he sttn the last two nights. He slept 8.30 those nights. And my helper could put him down to sleep without him crying. Could it really be me? I feel so helpless. I can't be relying on my helper all the time.

So for now am trying to wake him by 8.30 am and wake him up from nap by 3 and target a bedtime by 8.3o to 9 latest. Putting to bed at door takes about half an hr which is not too bad but the real problem is he wakes between 2 to 4 am once and he is hysterical. I tried to sh sh at door first but usually cry is too full blown I end up lying on the floor saying sh or sometimes even just touching him lightly. I am so tired those hours I usually end up sleeping an hr or so and then crawling to my rook  at 6 am