Help, back to throwing food

[Conniesmummy]

As it says really.
My delightful, yet strong-willed little monkey is now 19 months and has reverted back to dropping food and utensils etc, onto the floor when she is done with them.
Her general eating is still rubbish and I've been good at ignoring that and staying positive. But now she's thrown thos into the game and I'm struggling to know if I'm dealing with it ok.
I tend to just collect everything up and ask her if she's finished, mostly she gives me a dirty look and refuses to answer me! I do however tell her it is naughty to throw on the floor and to give it to me when she is done.
Her behaviour in general is a little challenging at the moment, which is all journal for her age. So I'm hoping this is also part of that and to just continue staying as chilled as I can and being consistent in telling her it's naughty when she does it.
Any helpers out there??

[Lana]

at that age mine were usually teething? 

if they threw food I would always just say "looks like you are all finished eating" and take them down.  truthfully you cannot make her eat so just offer healthy food/snacks at regular intervals and let her do the rest.  she will not starve herself

[Conniesmummy]

Hi, thanks for your words of support. This is what I do but just needed to hear someone else tell me thats ok.
She has pretty much got all her teeth bar the last 4 molars, the fangs have finally gotten all the way through. She is still drooly but she let me have a good feel in her mouth earlier and I can't feel anything as yet.
I really want to start reintroducing foods I know she's eaten before but has refused for some time now, like lasagna. She loved it as a new weaner but started refusing and I guess I stopped offering and fell into the trap of only offering what she would eat. I'm afraid of really limiting her diet by doing that anymore so want to try her with other foods.
Would you just maybe offer one meal a day of something that may potentially get launched? I guess I'm a bit old school and hate the thought of her going to bed hungry. If she hasn't eaten well at tea time, I do offer her a light supper of a biscuit with her milk.
I just feel like I get it wrong so much 

[Lana]

aw {{{{HUGS}}}}} you do not get it wrong. 

I always made sure there was at least one thing on the plate they would eat for sure and then offer the new stuff as well.  sometimes it takes quite a few exposures before they will eat an item.  I also would give a bedtime snack each night to make sure.  you are doing fine

[Conniesmummy]

Thanks again.
I'm off work tomorrow and Fri and plan to make a lasagna and some home made soup. Madam will eat soup so I want to make a more healthy alternative to shop soup lol.
She actually ate a few garden peas yesterday and some chips!!! First potato product and veg she's had in forever. I nearly fell off my chair!
I know she does try more at nursery,  I suppose it's when the other kids are eating, so I know she's getting more variety there. I just wish she would at home. I hate serving her the same stuff over and over.
If you saw her at breakfast you would never belive me. She wolfs it down!!

[Katet]

I'm quite a "no second chance person"... we don't & never have had tight rules in the house & I've never used the word naughty because I don't think it helps in anyway for the child to learn what is acceptable & they learn far more from focusing on what they can do, not what they can't. 

For me if she's in a high chair. Only put one or two things at a time, so it can't be thrown. If it gets thrown, take her down & 5mins later ask if she wants a "re-do" otherwise assume she is a normal toddler living on thin air. I wouldn't offer milk & a biscuit as she'll get used to that. My DS2 didn't eat much from 3pm on wards until he was about 7yo... he probably ate evening meal once a week as a toddler, he just ate more earlier in the day.

For me I did 5 things on the plate... 1-2 knew would eat (like cheese & apple) 1-2 maybe eat (like carrot & chicken) 1-2 would be rejected (like chicken in a sauce)  & I just did that every night. I'd give more of foods as appropriate. it literally took my eldest 100 exposures to try a new food, but we got there seeing major changes around 8yo... yes that long, but DH & I were both like that too & my brother & his brother who apparently were much better eaters became fussy as they got older... my nephew is the same, fantastic eater at 3yo, pretty limiting now at 12yo.

[Conniesmummy]

Hi, thanks for replying. I don't give her milk and a biscuit when she doesn't eat her tea, she is offered it as supper like any other meal. Some days she chooses not to eat it and isn't given an alternative. I believe she isn't hungry. She will refuse sweet things if she isn't hungry so I don't thinks she's replaces her other foods with goodies.
She only has 2 small cups of milk a day, morning and evening she needs this for her calcium intake, again, not meal replaces.
Wow, that's a long time to wait for them to eat. I'll keep trudging on then.

[creations]

I always gave mine a "supper" which was a small snack with milk every night before his BT routine.  At times his BT was so early that dinner ran into supper and oddly he would either eat both one after the other or eat a reasonable dinner, say he was finished and then 5 mins later say yes when offered his pre-BT supper.  I saw it as two separate meals even if the times ended up running into one another and he was offered both as standard.
Personally I didn't give a biscuit because I'm kind of mean on sugary stuff but things like home made pancakes or sugar free mini muffins, sugar free oaty chews (which had dried fruit in so it's actually still sweet just not added sugar) I would serve with his milk, or crackers and cheese things like that.  I used to make a batch and freeze them which I didn't find too taxing.

I tend to just collect everything up and ask her if she's finished, mostly she gives me a dirty look and refuses to answer me!

In phases when mine was throwing I felt it was more successful to leave the stuff on the floor (that's after trying to avoid the throw such as offering one bite at a time and gently catching the throwing hand before it manages to drop the food) so that it didn't become an action-response thing like a game. I'd leave the stuff there and deal with DS instead "looks like you're finished" wash him, lift him down - then I'd clean up while he was playing or distracted by something.  Don't know - maybe you'd like to try that?  It can help to remove some of the tension from meal times I find.

And many hugs too - you are not getting everything wrong, some kids just live off air!

[Conniesmummy]

Creations, thank you for your reply.
Your advice makes sense to me. I will definitely try leaving the cleaning up until later.
I only offer her tiny little baby biscuits, low sugar, flavoured with fruit and she doesn't always eat them and just drinks her milk.
I guess as parents that enjoy food I find it a little hard to have a child that lives on fresh air.
I have got a more positive mindset at the moment and plan on offering more new things, well old things, that she hasn't eaten for some time but I know she has liked them.
I know part of it at home is her playing for attention, which the throwing is part of, as she eats things at nursery but not for me 

[Katet]

I guess as parents that enjoy food I find it a little hard to have a child that lives on fresh air.

Not really 2 small cups of milk is about 1/2 of the calories they need in a day! Their stomach is only about the size of their fist, so realiistically they aren't going to eat a lot. I think at 18mo 1/2 a banana is a full serve of fruit

[creations]

she eats things at nursery but not for me

This is very common. So many people hear from nursery or school that their child has eaten things they won't eat at home. I do think part of it is that they see a lot of other kids eating the same so they have a lot of good modelling around them.  Another part of it is that they could be more "polite" with other care givers than they are with parents and just eat it because they feel they should.
My own DS has always eaten or tired just about everything, but as a baby he vomited if I gave him anything rice, rice cake (those dry biscuit type things), rice pudding or boiled rice.  Obviously after a few tries I stopped giving him rice and assumed he just couldn't eat it. He tried a little now and again in restaurants if the grown ups were eating rice but I could see it was half a teaspoon and he was trying not to gag.  But NOW at school he is eating curry and rice, chilli and rice - he MUST be eating it all because he is not coming home half starved and school often give out stickers to those who finish their plate (which I don't agree with but even so, it means I know he ate it and didn't just move it around on the plate). I am amazed by this, he is not vomiting like he did as a toddler and he is choosing these meals himself - there is always at least one other option of hot food and also they can have baked potato with filling or sandwiches so it's not like he has no choice.  Serve it at  home though (or in a restaurant) and it is still half a teaspoon.

Good luck with reintroducing the things you know she liked/likes.  one step at a time

[Conniesmummy]

Thanks again.
I'm on for lasagna tomorrow, wish me luck lol 😁

[creations]

Luck 

[Conniesmummy]

Well I bit the bullet and gave her a little pizza for lunch, something she apparently eats at nursery. I offered nothing else with it and was worried whether it would get ditched as she was in a tired grump after her ballet group. She ate it!! And 3/4 of a satsuma! Some satsuma went on the floor with a look at me, waiting for a response. I just cheerily said, are you all finished? Lifted her down from the table and then cleaned up. So far so good.
Knowing she's eaten well so far today, I feel better offering her lasagna for tea, I'll offer her a small amount with some cheese and olives as these usually get eaten ok.

[creations]

Well that's good news on the pizza!