I'm new to this forum, I've been reading and following you for quite a while but never had the courage to write. But now, as I have reached my lowest point in my whole motherhood experience I truly feel I cannot get through this alone. Donít get me wrong, I have a great husband who helps out as much as possible but he is as work for most of the day so that leaves me home alone with my 3.5 year old daughter and my 7 months old son.
Ok, so quick facts and what has been stressing me out.
3.5 daughter is a great sleeper, been sleeping from 8-6 since 7 months old. But she has been ill a lot so because of some serious complications we had to take her out of daycare and she is spending her days bored with me and the baby.
7 months old son is a terrible sleeper, has been from the beginning. He has never fallen asleep independently, he sometimes sleeps for 6 hours together at night but never 2 nights in a row. I used shush and pat from the beginning but every time I tried to wean him the sleeping got really worse. He had reflux and now has a confirmed allergy to cow milk and lactose intolerance. He is also the worst pooper which is a reason for many of his EW.
But when he is awake and rested he is a smiley, happy baby who likes to be cuddled. Funny thing is that I did the test in Baby whisperer solves all your problems many times and I always get the same result: textbook baby Ė but I donít feel he really is.
Our nap time and night time routine: Diaper change, lullaby in his room (I want to sing it to him with him in my arms but he has been fighting me lately so I put him in his crib and sing it there). When he is in his crib I sit biside him. I always let him fuss for a qouple of minutes I just reashure him that I am there and he just needs to go to sleep. When the fussing starts to escalate I have to roll him to his side and pat him on his bottom until he falls asleep. When I roll him to his side he usually rolles back to his back and I have to repeat the process again.
I wanted to stop the patting by decreasing the time I patted him. When I got to 2 minutes or even less it started to get really hard to get him to sleep, he woke up every 5, 10, 30 minutes. Now I tried stopping with not patting with my whole hand but just my fingertips Ė same thing! Let just say that while I am patting in his room my daughter is alone in the living room (thank god for cartoons!).
I donít even know what the problem is that he keeps waking up Ė the turning to his side or the patting and I donít know where to start to fix it. I tried PU/PD which worked to get rid of his pacifier but not to sleep independently. I must have done something wrong. I have to turn him to his side to pat him.
We have been struggling with 3-2 nap transition for more than a month now. He started napping for 2 hours and I thought that it is done but now the naps are alover the place again. He is at 3 hours A time.
We have many nighttime issues but I think that everything is because he doesnít know how to fall asleep by himself. He still breastfeeds at least once a night and lately wakes up every hour max 2 hours.
I thaught my daughter to sleep using babywhisperer methods so I know the hard work and patience that come with sleep training but I really donít know what I am doing with this one. I am so tired. I am totally willing to put in the work just donít know what to do.
Todays schedule to get a better idea of our days:
5 am wake up
I kept him in his room for 30 more minutes but I wasnít able to resettle.
6 am breastfeed
8 am top up feed
8.30 nap (total time of 1h30min but he woke up after 30 minutes and I had to pat him back to sleep)
10 am breastfeed
12 am lunch (solids)
1 pm sleep (For 1 hour Ė these are the worst Ė I donít know it 1 hour nap meens UT or OT but I never manage to resettle him)
He is currently fussing by my side, clearly tired.
His bed time is at 7.30pm.
Sorry about the messy post I hope you get what the problem isÖ