7 months old - waking every hour and many more problems

[tired_mum]

Hello everybody!

I'm new to this forum, I've been reading and following you for quite a while but never had the courage to write. But now, as I have reached my lowest point in my whole motherhood experience I truly feel I cannot get through this alone. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great husband who helps out as much as possible but he is as work for most of the day so that leaves me home alone with my 3.5 year old daughter and my 7 months old son.

Ok, so quick facts and what has been stressing me out.

3.5 daughter is a great sleeper, been sleeping from 8-6 since 7 months old. But she has been ill a lot so because of some serious complications we had to take her out of daycare and she is spending her days bored with me and the baby.

7 months old son is a terrible sleeper, has been from the beginning. He has never fallen asleep independently, he sometimes sleeps for 6 hours together at night but never 2 nights in a row. I used shush and pat from the beginning but every time I tried to wean him the sleeping got really worse. He had reflux and now has a confirmed allergy to cow milk and lactose intolerance. He is also the worst pooper which is a reason for many of his EW. But when he is awake and rested he is a smiley, happy baby who likes to be cuddled. Funny thing is that I did the test in Baby whisperer solves all your problems many times and I always get the same result: textbook baby – but I don’t feel he really is.

Our nap time and night time routine: Diaper change, lullaby in his room (I want to sing it to him with him in my arms but he has been fighting me lately so I put him in his crib and sing it there). When he is in his crib I sit biside him. I always let him fuss for a qouple of minutes I just reashure him that I am there and he just needs to go to sleep. When the fussing starts to escalate I have to roll him to his side and pat him on his bottom until he falls asleep. When I roll him to his side he usually rolles back to his back and I have to repeat the process again.

I wanted to stop the patting by decreasing the time I patted him. When I got to 2 minutes or even less it started to get really hard to get him to sleep, he woke up every 5, 10, 30 minutes. Now I tried stopping with not patting with my whole hand but just my fingertips – same thing! Let just say that while I am patting in his room my daughter is alone in the living room (thank god for cartoons!). 

I don’t even know what the problem is that he keeps waking up – the turning to his side or the patting and I don’t know where to start to fix it.  I tried PU/PD which worked to get rid of his pacifier but not to sleep independently. I must have done something wrong. I have to turn him to his side to pat him.

We have been struggling with 3-2 nap transition for more than a month now. He started napping for 2 hours and I thought that it is done but now the naps are alover the place again. He is at 3 hours A time.

We have many nighttime issues but I think that everything is because he doesn’t know how to fall asleep by himself. He still breastfeeds at least once a night and lately wakes up every hour max 2 hours.

I thaught my daughter to sleep using babywhisperer methods so I know the hard work and patience that come with sleep training but I really don’t know what I am doing with this one. I am so tired. I am totally willing to put in the work just don’t know what to do.

Todays schedule to get a better idea of our days:

5 am wake up
I kept him in his room for 30 more minutes but I wasn’t able to resettle.
6 am breastfeed
8 am top up feed
8.30 nap (total time of 1h30min but he woke up after 30 minutes and I had to pat him back to sleep)
10 am breastfeed
12 am lunch (solids)
1 pm sleep (For 1 hour – these are the worst – I don’t know it 1 hour nap meens UT or OT but I never manage to resettle him)
He is currently fussing by my side, clearly tired.
His bed time is at 7.30pm.

Sorry about the messy post I hope you get what the problem is…

[ginger428]

Hi there and welcome to BW! Apologies for the delayed response.

So sorry to hear how low it's been lately.  Hugs.  BTW, I had a reflux, poor sleeper, sleep-training-resistant baby as well and they are so precious, but need a LOT of support from my experience. Are his reflux meds updated? We want to make sure he's not in discomfort.  I think laying on one side (can't remember which one) might aggravate the reflux. Although so does laying on the back.  I know that when my bub started sleeping on his tummy and could roll, sit, and position himself comfortably is when he was able to sleep slightly better.

Has he fallen asleep independently ever before? Was this the start of a sleep training method?

According you to your routine, he'll wake from his last nap at 2ish and then BT is 7:30? If that's the case for any day, the A time here is probably giving him a second wind and he's unable to settle well. If his naps end at 2, I would try a 5:30 super early bedtime.  If wake up is at 2:30, go for 6:00.  It won't hurt to try.  Honestly, even if he woke at 4:30am, he would be getting 10-11hrs of sleep.

A shot in the dark, but could you offer solids around 11:30 instead of 12:00? If he's eating at 12 and going to bed at 1, the food will still be digesting assuming he's finishing around 12:30. I know the reflux meds are supposed to prevent/block the acid but extra measures don't hurt, do they?

[tired_mum]

Hey!

I so sorry not to write back sooner but, as you can imagine, there is little time left for the internet.
Thank you for your response. There is no reflux medication available where I live but I haven't seen any problems in quite some time (he used to have stuffy nose every night together with problems with settling).
When he has his 2nd nap at 1pm he try to squeeze in a cat nap latter in the day so that he isn't overtired.
He has never fallen asleep independently, we always had to pat him.

So- an update:
He stopped breastfeeding at night and I stopped patting him to sleep. But I still have to turn him to his side. When I turn him he settles and falls asleep or turns back to his back and fusses. He can’t settle on his back, he just gets super worked up and starts crying. During the day he is mobile, he can roll both ways no problem but in the crib he is just waiting for me to turn him. Any suggestions on how to encourage him to sleep on his back or to turn to his side by himself?
I tried PU/PD – he stops fussing immediately when I pick him up but when I lay him down I always lay him on his side and he basically gets what he wants. Do you think that it would help if I just laid him down to his back and continued with PU/PD?
I feel I am so close with teaching him to fall asleep independently but I just can finish if you know what I mean.

Thank you again!

[ginger428]

Good to hear you aren't seeing any problems lately.

Wow! Imd say that's great progress to drop. Night feeds and atop patting. I think turning to his side is not a big deal at this point. He will eventually figure it out on his own. Help him practice during the day. You're taking the low and steady route which is working for now. He'll get there!!

Good job mama!

[tired_mum]

I also felt very good how things were going, the past couple of nights he even fell asleep without me turning him to his side. But the night wakings are crazy, he is waking every hour or at best two hours and I cannot figure out why. That’s the reason I wanted to quit turning him to his side if that is the problem.
I just don’t know. I don’t think he is teething, he is definitely not hungry because I know the hungry cry. Maybe it’s just from his new found mobility in his crib…but its non stop – from one thing to another – he just can’t catch a break and sleeeeeep. I am so tired.
It was the same on the days when he woke up at 7am and had 2 solid naps during the day and the days he woke up at 5.30 and napped poorly during the day.
What am I missing?

[ginger428]

It certainly could be the newfound mobility.  We'll know once he is moving from side to side on his own (in the crib) and the novelty has worn off.

What is he doing when he wakes every 1-2 hrs at night? And what are you doing?

[tired_mum]

Here we are. Awake at 5.30 after another sleepless night. At night wheh he wakes he makes more of a moaning sound. It starts, then he stops, then he starts against. Just as he is waiting to see if I am coming yet. If I let him moan it quickly turns into a ful on cry. I try to just say that everything is ok and he should just go back to sleep. This works for the first and maybe second time. Then i have to turn him back to his side. And closer then we get to the morning more times o have  to turn him for him to fall alseep. I usually also pat him for a minute (and longer when the morning is getting closer).

[ginger428]

Hi there,have there been any progress?
At this point if he is still waking hourly, he may be severely OT. AND IF YOU RECALL, I asked about the last Awake time to bed. Have you tried an early bedtime?

[tired_mum]

There is still no progress with night time sleep. I know he is overtired but I was home alone with no help so I wasn't able to try an earlier bedtime as it is my daughters dinner time. My husband will be home for the next couple of days so I will try it today. I will put him to bed at 6.00pm today and see what happens.

On the other hand I worked on daytime sleep and our days are better, he has 2 naps of 1.5 hours.
His days:

5.15am EW
6.00am Milk
8am Breakfast solids+milk
9am Nap (he is super tired for this nap)
10:30 Snack-fruit
12:30pm Lunch
2:00pm Nap
3:30pm Milk
6:00pm Dinner
7:20pm-7.30pm Sleep

I am so sorry to bother you as much as I do but reading this forum and following BW is the only thing that is giving me hope right now.
You are truly awesome to take time from your own life to help a complete stranger! Thank you so much!

[ginger428]

It's our pleasure to help you! I was desperate many times and have come here for support, advice, virtual hugs, and more. We hope you will continue to visit the site and hopefully in the future assist other moms who may struggle with similar issues. Until then, please come here as you need and know that you are doing the very best that you can. Hugs!!

I am so glad to hear his naps have lengthened.

With a 2pm nap for 1.5 hrs, 7:20BT is generally perfect, but to help him catch up on sleep, try 30 mins earler at 6:30, which reduces a 14 hr day to a 13 hr day. And do that for 2 days.

[tired_mum]

Hey!
We've made great progress in the past weeks. He now falls asleep independently although I am still in the room with him. Yay! Since then we had some great nights - he once managed a whole night! But he is so unpredictable. He can sleep great one night and then wake every hour the next. On the nights he slept well I noticed he had a cat nap in the afternoon  (in the car, stroller,...). So now I am thinking he is still overtired. We are still dealing with early wakings so for his nap he has a reallylong A time(more then 4 hours) and most of the time he sleeps for only a hour and 20 minutes. I will now work on the naps and hopefully we will start getting longer nights.

[ginger428]

So glad to hear! We had many catnaps to get us through a few stages, so it can be useful. Let us know how it goes. =)

[tired_mum]

Good morning 

It is 5am here and my LO is clapping and laughing in his crib.
We managed to fix the naps  (for most days anyways). He now gets two 1.45h naps a day. But he is still waking too early - 4.30am every night. His bed time is still between 7-7.30pm. I try to keep his first nap as late as possible, some days he can manage until 9.30am, yesterday he fell asleep at 9am in the living room.

What should I do? Try putting him to bed letter? But I am afraid he will be overtired for naps. Maybe wake to sleep? If he wakes at 4.30am when should I go in and wake him?

Thanks for the advice!

[tired_mum]

Another early morning for us. This little guy really likes sunrises apparently.
we came such a long way in the past two months but I'm still so tired. Please help me. 

[ginger428]

Can you list his current routine including his 2 long naps and when he wakes from them?