EWU for ~2 Months, tried several things...thoughts?

[jessmum46]

How are you doing?

[KYKatydid]

Hi All,

Wanted to update/have more questions (of course...!)

DS understands that the when the clock light comes on/is green, that means that we will come get him, and it's time to "start the day". He will whine for the light until it comes on, often. Ha...!

However, he had gotten worse and worse, more "fearful" sounding with his screams, very anxious when he would wake up before the green light came on.

I decided to stay in his room for three days, as I felt it was anxiety related (for whatever reason). He progressed to 5:30 WU after 3 days, and at that point my husband slept in his room so I could get a break (no NWs with me, thankfully). He was a mess, and was not happy, promptly started waking up at 4:30/4:45 with DH. A couple NWs too. Very restless.

I decided to try again, and it has been WU b/w 4:45 and 5:00, with steady WU at 5 the past three days with me. I feel "stuck". We're all exhausted.

We absolutley do not get out of bed until the green light comes on.

I am (this week) being MUCH more strict with nap length (we were both sick last week and I let it "slide"). With his nap being no more than 1.5 hours.

Current Schedule:

WU: 5
Nap: 1-1:30
BT: 7:30/8:00, more towards 8

He is starting "school" in a little over a week. And of course they have him on a different schedule. This will be his new schedule:

WU: (Goal=6AM)
N: About 12-2 (his schedule says storytime/rest, so that's why I say about 12. I also expect him to be restless at school for a few days)
BT:

He is in school 3x a week (MWTH), and obviously I want the same schedule at home as well as at school. We've been having these crazy early wakings since end of March, and we feel quite overwhelmed with what to do to "crack it". He's a stubborn bug.

[KYKatydid]

@Jessmum46. I just saw that you checked in with me, thanks for that! Sorry for the delayed response. See above

[jessmum46]

I really think that over tiredness could be a factor here.  He is having very little sleep overall and a super-short night, from which he is waking unhappy by the sounds of things.  Could you try an early nap up to 1.5h, then a super-early bedtime?  I'm just thinking if say you put him to bed for 6/6.30pm and he sleeps his typical 8.5-9h, then he will wake up at 3am - hopefully he should be able to resettle at that hour even if it takes a while, and you might get a later wake-up, or at least a longer night and a bit of catch-up.  Do you think it's worth a try?

[KYKatydid]

 Thanks for your reply! I'm always up for trying something. We moved his nap to 12 instead of one to get him on track for school. We will try for very early bedtime.  How many days do you think we should put him to bed early?  Three or so days? I  know sometimes it takes a few days to see if something is actually working.

[KYKatydid]

Gracious, we're going on almost 6 months of this EWU. Feeling pretty desperate at this point...

Current changes:
-We recently tried WTS again for about four days w/o much luck.
-We have been keeping with his clock light coming on a couple minutes after his typical 5AM WU, but haven't had success with it moving his WU.

Thoughts:
Last night (for what ever reason) DS was extremely restless, and very anxious starting about 2AM. He would sleep about 10 minutes and wake up screaming, and repeat cycle for nearly an hour.

I decided to sleep in the recliner in his room out of desperation, and he woke up I think two or three more times, but settled with a quick "shh!", barely enough to wake me up.

Could all this be more anxiety related? That it potentially hasn't been resolved since our trip this March? We were away from him for 9 days.

We have slept in his room for 3 day periods since then, with his EWU creeping back a little while after we left his room until we were back to 4:30-5A WU.

I know Tracy did mention for "some cases" she would sleep in baby's room until X issue was resolved (anxiety, etc). Could this be one those times? I obviously don't want to create a habit. We have done sleeping and slow fade with great success in the past (before our trip), just wondering if this trip was particularly traumatic?

And we did very early bed for about a week. (Asleep (eyes closed) b/w 6:30 and 7:00)

Current schedule I can't really modify, as he is in school 3x/week and I can't modify that. We echo the school schedule at home.

WU: 5:00 (He has been like this quite consistently lately)
N:12:15 (approximately)-2:00
BT: 7:30

[jessmum46]

I know we've talked before about earlier bedtime but when you tried it did he still wake at the same time i.e. a longer nights sleep/more sleep overall?

Remind me - does he have all his teeth yet?

Routine wise is he woken up from his naps or is that his natural nap length?

I'm not sure about whether the trip is the issue - it may have started as that but several months down the line there has to be something else perpetuating it...how are you responding at the early waking now?

[KYKatydid]

Hi Again!,

With his earlier bed: He woke up at the same time for a bit, and then got earlier.
Teeth: His molars are still working his way through and I do know they bother him at times.
Routine: He is woken up at the 1.5 hr mark at home and school. With school it's 1.5 hrs to 1.75 hrs
Waking response: He had actually been improving for awhile. Waking more at the 5:30 mark. I have been very consistent if he wakes up before his light and saying "it's still night night time. Mommy is going back to bed, and you need to go back to bed" and waiting in the hall.

He does have bouts of hysteria where he wakes up like he had a bad dream. Just full on screaming and horribly so. Usually those days are earlier wake up. Like 4:40 this morning. DH had him wait until 5 to get out of bed and comforted with voice.

Not sure if any of that provides insight? You are right in that something is perpetuating it...

[jessmum46]

Have you tried uncapped naps at all??

[KYKatydid]

Yes, we did back in July. The hard bit is that he can't have uncapped at school. I have always thought consistency is important but would it be different in this case? He's in school M, W, TH.

[KYKatydid]

Also, similar to early bedtime that uncapped worked for a bit and then he reverted back to EWU.

[jessmum46]

I would offer uncapped at home to allow for catch-up.  We went though a phase with DD of max 1h naps at nursery and up to 2-3h at home.  Consistency in terms of nap length wasn't so important as consistency in timing if that makes sense.  You may reach a point where you recognise you need to cap the home naps as well, but they may not need to be capped so short as the ones at nursery

[KYKatydid]

Yes, that does make sense. I’ll for sure give it a try! Thank you for your thoughts.  He was fussy with a little ear ache yesterday and napped poorly. So he was eyes closed last night at 6:30 and woke up around 6:10. I was shocked. 

[jessmum46]

Hope he feels better soon - but yay for sleep!!

[KYKatydid]

Update: I just let him nap uncapped this past week while he was sick and he woke up earlier and earlier over time with back to 4:30/5:00.

He has been in school all this week. He slept into 5:40 Tuesday morning after school on Monday. I let him nap uncapped Tuesday and he woke up at 5. School nap yesterday and he woke up at 4:30 this morning.