Spirited-Grumpy-Refluxer - I'm not surprised you need to vent
Vent away x
First though, accept that you are a great mum and don't beat yourself up just because she has the grumps. You're doing your best and have already done brilliantly to recognise both her nature and reflux (my own was not diagnosed with silent reflux until he was 5 months, imagine how bad I felt that he'd been suffering so long!) which is a huge achievement and I'm sure she appreciates how attentive and observant you are.
You might find the days easier to get through if you plan out a routine you can manage which answers both her needs and yours as much as possible. For example it might be possible to get her fed and dressed then sit outside in your PJs with a cuppa during her first A time. Once you get her down for the first nap jump in the shower as soon as she's asleep. Out of the bathroom for the 45 min resettle then use the rest of nap to get dried and dressed and eat breakfast. Then you're ready for the next stint of A time where you could get out the house for a walk. Either head home in time for her second nap or stay out and have lunch from a bakery or cafe, let her nap in the pram?
If there are baby groups in your area with any outside space they might be a good choice to work into the routine (or start asking around where such places might be ready for when she's a bit older). A library near us has a lovely quiet garden, they do rhyme time for babies and toddlers but to be honest my DS didn't like those noisy groups so I mostly avoided them but using the garden was nice. I used to stand at my DS's bed waiting for him to wake from his first (long) nap then literally pick him up and pop him in the sling to get us out the house fast enough, I fed him once we arrived at the park so we had birds and trees and open blue sky to look at - made us both feel better even though it was a bit of a dash to get him back home for the next nap. Sometimes I just walked to a public bench and sat there with him, people watching in the village! When he was older we stood in the street and watched workmen dig the road or visit garden centres to just roam around - you can be quite inventive with outdoors time to work out things to do.
I'm sure you'll find your groove. She is still very young and it does take time to work out what they like to do and how you can work that into the day, adapting the the baby you have and their own unique character with likes and dislikes. For instance with my DS I never imagined I could enjoy a trip to the electricals shop to look at row upon row of washing machines but that was a "day out" for us!! He really doesn't like animals so trips to the zoo or farm were off the list (although we have play farms here which are more about play and climbing than animals - he skips the animal bit). I couldn't even bath him for 5 months as he screamed the place down so I just dipped him in water once per week and the rest of the time washed him with a cloth - I'd been under the impression all babies like water, not mine! Our BT routine certainly did not include bath time, it was far too upsetting an experience to put right before sleep when he needed to be relaxed. When he was older he eventually loved his bath.
Maybe you could write out a list of places to go, it doesn't need to be amazing, just outdoors, maybe places with good food for you or places which have an undercover outdoor area for rainy days?
Maybe look at your routine and see what you really need to fit in and when you can do it based on her sleeps, once you get into a routine which sees to your own needs (breakfast, shower, lunch...) you will likely feel the whole day is easier.
But remember, you can only do what you can do. you are unlikely to be able to keep her happy all of the time, none of us can keep our kids happy all the time and it wouldn't prepare them for real life if we did.
