5 week old refusing sleep all day and night + always fussing

[cefandll]

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm hoping someone could offer me some advice as we are about to lose our minds. We have a 5 week old baby boy, our third. He fights sleep whether it's day or night. If he's awake, he's fussing. The days have been really exhausting as we can't seem to figure out what's going on with him. We didn't have these problems with our first two. I'll tell you a bit about our day.

The mornings usually start around 7:30. He wakes up fussing to nurse and eats for about 30 minutes. For about 15 more minutes we talk or try to calm him down about. He isn't screaming crying just generally fussing. Then around 8:15, we start getting him ready for his first nap. Dark room, white noise, swaddled tight and in his rock n play. He takes a bit to fall asleep in arms (we've tried laying him down drowsy with no success - just a purple crying baby). He falls asleep and like clockwork will wake up at the 10 or 15 minute mark. Maybe even sooner. Getting him back down is complicated and he fights it hard. If he does manage to go back down , we are back to waking up again at 10 minutes. On repeat. This goes on all day long. If he's awake, he's crying. It's making us dread wake time and I feel so terrible saying that. As we speak he's just woken up from 5 minutes of sleeping. I don't know what to do. That's during the day. This goes on until say 4 o'clock to which he's so worn out and overtired he manages to get a 1.5 hr nap in.

Night time is just as equally brutal. He goes down for bed at 7:30/8 and sleeps a first stretch until 11:30. We've tried dream feeds at 10:30 for a solid week and he would never wake up enough to eat more after letdown. After he eats at 11:30 he's up every single hour on the button. Crying, fussing, squirming. We've tried gas drops and gripe water. Little leg kicks and all of those things.

He always seems upset, uncomfortable and just mad. It's so sad to see. Doctors have no answers really since he's gaining lots of weight. We are just tired. We want a happy comfortable baby. I know he's OT, but I don't know why he's always upset. And since he's so OT, how do I get him to actually sleep so that he isn't?

I appreciate your advice. I'm one sleepy mama myself. 

[tamlev]

Hi,

I see your trounble and really feel for you so lets try to get you some help.

your baby should be on a routine. I know it sounds early (only 5 W old) but it sounds like you all need to know what is next (your baby too!!). Are you familiar with the EASY reoutine? it is a life saver.
if you are not familiar read about it in her book or look for an explenation in one of the suggested posts in this forum.
the point is Eat, Activity, Sleep, You. that is the routine of the day and it repeats itself.

does your baby nurse or have a bottle? after every feed do you burp your baby (pat him firmly on his back to get any air out). Some babiesl get air in their digestive system and you must help them get it out. My daughter would spit up a lot untill 6 months but this was necessary. after each nursing I would hold her on my sholder (stomack against the sholder) and have her burp so that it gets out and will not bother her.
if this is the issue then it will make your baby calm.
you must make sure your baby is not a snacker (you can read about this in the baby whisperer book). feedings should be every 3 hours and at this age should last about 30-45 minutes. don't feed every hour or 2.

don't use white noise. that is a prop. a prop is anything that the baby must use to fall asleep (rocking, breast, car ride, holding moms hand or even a pacifier or blanky can sometimes be a prop). I suggest you don't use any of these for putting to sleep since your baby will not know how to fall asleep with out them. one of the baby whisperers main points are to teach your child to fall asleep on their own with no prop.
At this age you can do the shush pat (also specified in her book). when trying to put your baby to sleep hold him upright on your sholder and lightly pat his back (not bottom) and shush at the same time. this is similar to white noise but it is a way your baby can calm down and the rhythem of the patting also helps. this method will stop working at about 3 months and that is when you can start using the pick up- put down (PU/PD) method.
Take in to consideration that anything will take some time to adjust (you and baby).
 If you decide to set things straight with the baby whisperers ideas (EASY, shush pat, then PU/PD when older) then read about it, find a weekend where you can start since it will be hard with lots of screaming (your husband should probably do the first nights and naps if it is possible). if you stay with it (even if it takes an hour or more to put to sleep) it WILL get better with time. each nap will take less time to put to sleep.
The older the baby is, the harder it is to change habits so at 5 weeks is the best time to start since any habit is not extremely enhanced and you can change things within very few days. also remember, START AS YOU MEAN TO GO. if you drop a method after 2 days that will only mix up you and baby. So decide which way and stick to it.

Last point that is VERY important. you must remember that your baby is ONLY 5 weeks!! he has been in you where it is warm and dark for 10 months! it is totaly normal to have a new baby scream or cry a lot when puting to sleep since he is only trying to figure out where he is and what is going on.
I know you are tired and it is very hard to deall with this when you are so tired. if you can have your mother, sister, close friend come help on a weekend that is great, so that you can get some sleep too. if you hold your baby and shush pat he will feel safe and calm. you must feel safe and calm too.

when you feel overwhelmed, stop what you are doing, put your baby in a safe place and BREATH! breathing deeply really helps.

Let me know if you have any specific questions.

Good luck!
Tammy

[creations]

Welcome to BW forums cefandll

Thank you tamlev for paying it forward - lovely support and advice

Just one aspect I'd like to clear up - prop versus comfort items

don't use white noise. that is a prop. a prop is anything that the baby must use to fall asleep (rocking, breast, car ride, holding moms hand or even a pacifier or blanky can sometimes be a prop). I suggest you don't use any of these for putting to sleep since your baby will not know how to fall asleep with out them. one of the baby whisperers main points are to teach your child to fall asleep on their own with no prop.

It is true that BW methods discourage use of props for sleep. There are however some items which are not considered props such as white noise and a lovey.  Here is a useful FAQ on the difference:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=67676.0
At 5 wks you would not be leaving any item in the cot with baby as it is a SIDS risk, however even babies as young as this can begin to attach to a lovey and it can give great comfort throughout their babyhood and toddler hood.  My own used a muslin square as a lovey, I did not leave it in the cot for sleeps until he was much older but I let him have it near him to fall to sleep then removed it once he nodded off.