19month old NW and EW.

[Erica_a80]

Hi everyone.
I've been here a few times for help with tweaking my DS2's routine to help him sleep better and have had some great advice and success so am hoping you can help me again please.

For the past 2 months (it feels longer than this) my DS2 has been waking a few times in the night and also waking early. He doesn't seem to be in pain when he wakes as sometimes he will go back down as soon as I've gone in and said 'it's night time, you're ok, time to go back to sleep now' and other times he whines at first so we don't go in. On occasion he will self settle but mostly he doesn't, and he fully wakes crying. So we go in and try to comfort him but he says 'No', he doesn't want us touching him but he also doesn't want us to leave the room. Most times he will eventually settle with a hand on his back, it varies in time how long it takes for him to go back to sleep. He goes to bed without his dummy (he does have it for nap times and sometimes in the day) but there has been occasions when I have been exhausted and he's woken 3 or 4 times where on the 4th time I have given him his dummy and he instantly falls back to sleep. I know I shouldn't have done this but I don't think I have created a habit as he never asks for it in the night whereas he does for naps.
His day on average looks like this:

WU:5. We try to keep him in his cot until at least 5:45 but he does sometimes get restless so have to get him up sooner.
Breakfast:6-6:30
Nap: 10:35-11:55/12:35
Lunch 1:30
Sometimes catnap for 10mins-3:30-3:40
Dinner:5
Bed:7 (the reason it's this time is sometimes he only sleeps for 10hours at night and I don't want to risk a 4am wake-up if I put him to bed at 6.
Any help would be gratefully received. You have always been amazing in the past.

Thank you
Erica x

[Haribo2012]

Hi, it's so exhausting isn't it being up so much at night.

First thing I'd prob do is push your nap later, early naps can make WU early. My DS2 is 19 months and our nap is set at 12.45, on a 6.15/6.30 WU,  if he wakes before 6am it's 12.15. For you I'd start pushing it to 11am and get rid of the CN.

With regards to dummy at night I guess you can either go cold turkey and loose it altogether or deal with it another time and put a few in his cot at night so he can replug?

[Erica_a80]

Thank you for your reply 😊.
I did have a feeling his nap was early but my worry was if we push it later he might not sleep for very long if he's overtired. But I will push it back as I know it needs to sit after lunch.
What time does your ds go to bed on an early wake up day and a normal day? Are bedtimes set?
Yes I'm planning on going cold turkey with the dummy soon, although he is poorly at the moment so the last few nights have been a write off!
Also when you do a 12:15 nap do you give lunch before or after?
Thanks again
Erica x

[Haribo2012]

Sometimes you do get a few short naps but then they adjust, you can always move in 15 min increments then hold for a couple of days and move again.
We have BT between 7/7.30 depending on nap time and WU.

I tend to give lunch at 11.30 regardless so it's time to settle but no waking from hunger x

[Erica_a80]

Aww ok i might do it gradually then.
So I'm aiming for a 13 hour day? And a 1.5-2 hour nap?
Sorry for all of the questions.
Erica x

[Haribo2012]

Yes 12.5/13 hour day is pretty normal at this age but if your lo is higher sleep needs you might get away with 12 hour day x

[Erica_a80]

So yesterday I pushed his nap to awake time 5h40 from waking and he slept for 2 hours. So I put him to bed after having a 13 hour day and he slept through and did 10.5hours! Result.
He woke at 5:30 today so again I put his nap 5h40 from wake up but he only slept for 1h10mins. I was planning on putting him to bed at 6:30 with no catnap but am worried the short nap could make him overtired, in which case we get 10hour nights and a few wake ups. What do you think?
Erica x

[Haribo2012]

I'd try the 6.30 bt as they sometimes tack on with sleep nap transitions.

Good update though x

[Erica_a80]

So I think things have gone a bit wrong somewhere! We keep getting EW's again and numerous NW.
This morning he woke at 4:40 for the day!
He refused his nap one day last week but eventually gave in at 2 (he should have napped at 11:20) and since then I feel like we have gone backwards. Saturday i didn't know what time he woke as he initially woke at 5, but I fell back to sleep, when I woke at 6:20 he was chatting away in his cot. There is no way he would have been chatting happily for that long so we presumed he had fallen back to sleep somewhere so set his nap at 12 under the presumption he possibly woke at 6. He only slept just over 10 hours that night, and he slept for just under 10 hours last night. I'm napping him at 11 today as I feel any earlier and he might not make it to bedtime.  I'm feeling really hard done by with the early wake up today!
Any suggestions?
Erica x

[Haribo2012]

Awhh hugs it's hard, if it's any consolation my 20 month old is nap refusing and was awake at 4.45 this morning then went back to sleep at 6am and had to be up at 6.45....he will get a nap about 12.15 at daycare.

I think it might just be developmental for us as lots of new words coming out. I'd prob try and keep pushing that nap and stay consistent. I know the worry of then not having enough sleep is tough but you can only provide the opportunity and try and manage OT but if they do wake and go back to sleep alone after a chat to themselves then that's good too...maybe his brain is just processing stuff.

[Erica_a80]

Thanks Zoe, that does make me feel better, not very nice for you though. Do you just leave your little boy in his cot to go back to sleep at that time? Or do you try and settle him?
Yes we have lots of new words too, which is lovely (not so lovely at 4:45 though).
Ok I will keep pushing until we are after lunch. His day is going to unfortunately be long today as if I stuck to the 12.5-13hour day bedtime will be at 5:45, I'm not back from work until 6 so that's just not possible.
Thanks again Zoe
X

[Haribo2012]

Well it depends as sometimes he just chats and goes back off but today was crying so came in our bed as my eldest is at school at he would prob wake at that time if here was a lot of noise.

To be honest I keep to 7pm ish give or take 15 mins these days as just impossible earlier with work and homework for eldest etc.