5 mo old not taking last nap!

[JennVanessa1083]

Hi!

I have written on other boards but unfortunately haven’t gotten a response; maybe because I’m not writing in the right place.

I’m at my wits end. My 5 month old (4 months adjusted) has been resisting her last nap and crying before bedtime. The last 3 days she has completely skipped her last nap but then is obviously overtired.

Today for example:

WU 7 am
S 9-10:45 am
S 12:45-2:15 pm
S 4:15-4:25 pm ( tried soooo hard in a carrier and she slept for only 10 minutes)
BT 6 pm (cried so hard)

She’s been on 1.75-2 hr wake times for maybe 2 weeks. She only wakes once at night for a feed but lately has been waking up only 30minutes-1hr after we put her to bed.

Yesterday she completely skipped it in the stroller and was awake for nearly 3 hours before I finally got her down for bed.

She’s gnawing at her hands most of the day and drooling a lot. Could it be signs of teething??

Please please please anyone help!!!

[Katet]

Have you tried feeding more, there is a big growth spurt around 4mo and as she was early it could be that.
I know around 5mo my eldest struggled to settle and cluster feeding from about 4-7pm seemed to help as it increased my supply and it actually translated to a later night feed.

[JennVanessa1083]

I usually feed her every 3-3.5 hours. I follow her cues. She gets a top up before bed as well. Should I try a top up before her last nap?

[Katet]

If she’s unsettled and not sleeping definitely try feeding esp if you are BF A’s supply can drop off later in the day.
It’s also not abnormal to have unsettled periods that come and go at different ages, so it could be a stage that passes.
Be mindful too that sometimes they just need emotional connections and being awake is about getting more ‘cuddles’ to strengthen the attachment. Western culture is very hands off and clock watching, while many other cultures are much more baby wearing and don’t see problems where western cultures do. Sometimes it’s not food or sleep a baby needs but bonding and being unsettled is sometimes the only way they can communicate that.

It’s quite easy to get caught up in feeling comfort in the quest for the ‘ideal’, but in the journey of parenting it’s more how we connect in times of the challenges that help us the most. The feeling ‘ I must be doing something wrong that I’m not getting sleep like the book’ is a damaging one, where a ‘if he/she won’t sleep, cuddles will never go astray’ attitude is a positive one for everyone.

[JennVanessa1083]

I completely agree with your advice about tons of cuddling and baby wearing. It wouldn’t concern me if it weren’t for the screaming that is happening bc she isn’t taking a proper 3rd nap and is super tired during the bedtime routine. We have been putting her down at 6 but I really don’t want it to creep up anymore. She seems to need at least 15-15.5 hours of total sleep. That’s her average. On the days she is clearly OT it’s been 14.5. I guess she is high sleep needs total opposite of my older son lol

I can try the top up today to see if it helps.

[Katet]

If she's screaming later in the day try slightly shorter A times in the day to see if it's not over tired by later in the day. Growing can make them need more sleep at random times (my almost 16yo is eating like a bottom less pit and yesterday he got home from school and slept an hour and went to bed earlier than normal too... I suspect hell grow another couple of inches in the next few weeks. If the last almost 16 years are anything to go by he needs more sleep at a growth spurt, so stands to reason for a 5mo.

[JennVanessa1083]

I have been doing 1.75 for the first nap and she wakes at 35 minutes then the second nap between 1.75-2 hrs, still wakes mid-nap 35 minutes.

Last nap we have been out since we have an old DS and she has been flat out refusing it despite being in a car or stroller. It seems maybe she doesn’t want to kiss anything? When. I put her stroller cover on she protests. I finally get her to sleep after 3 hours A time whether it’s rushing her home to nap or she finally conks our from exhaustion. Of course it ends up being a 20-30 minute OT nap then it’s the scream fest to bedtime where she wakes once or twice within the first couple of hours.

Is this a phase at this age? Part of the 4 month regression?

My son had awful overnight sleep at this age...

[JennVanessa1083]

Ok...after. 2and a half hour nap and a 2hr A time, she still does a 30 minute nap on her last nap 😫

Today went like this:

WU 7
S 9:19-9:40 am (DH put her down too late and she wouldn’t resettle)
S 11:00- 1:15ish (woke at 35 minutes resettled)
S 3:15-3:45 pm (wouldn’t resettle)

She is 5.5 months old, but born one month early. Is she OT or UT ahhhh

[Katet]

Sounds like she's overtired. Having an older sibling around can stimulate more. I'd try around the 1h 40mins and see what happens.
Although it could use be she developmentally at a point that sleep is haywire.

[JennVanessa1083]

I think you’re right. Maybe I also need more of a wind down. It’s hard bc my DS loves her so much and want to be part of everything so I feel like she basically doesn’t have a good wind downI just tried for another nap and she won’t go down 😩 it’s been 2 hours from her last short nap. She just keeps smiling which throws me off  but now she will probably scream as we put her down for an early bedtime.

[JennVanessa1083]

So I put her down after around 1:40 for her first nap and she gave me a 30 minute nap. No crying just wouldn’t go back down. She’s now 5 months and 3 weeks. Is it still overtired?

I feel like we have been stuck on the 1.5-1.75 A times for weeks yet I’m still getting what seems like OT naps.

[Katet]

30mins tends to be overtired.
Increases in A time isn't linear and sometimes it's up and down. It will pass and there will be many other things to worry about so try to just accept maybe it's a part of her temperament rather than what you are doing.

[JennVanessa1083]

Now she’s screaming before naps. I’m starting to wonder if it’s discomfort. Today I watched for tired signs and put her down at around 1.75. She slept for 40 minutes then woke up. She resettled and I woke her at 1.75 hours to pick up her brother at school. She was cranky for this A and showed signs at 1.5. I put her in her swaddle and she was screaming crying which isn’t like her. To the point where I nursed her to sleep because I felt so bad. I know it’s prime age for teething and we are having a hot summer over here.

[Aimi]

 Hi, just wanted to share what worked for us. We had pretty much the same situation with DD 2 who refused first the fourth nap and later the third (the last ones) and in our case we needed to increase her A-time. I didn't realise at first as I was so scared of pushing to hard and her being overtired and she was also already at the high end of average a-time  for her age. She just turned 5 months and is doing 2,30 a-time. We always increase 10min at a time and hold for 3 days and by then she's not refusing the last nap anymore, when she starts to again we increase with 10 again. Maybe something to try? When you've tried everything else..😏

[JennVanessa1083]

That’s an interesting thought actually...

Today went something like this:
WU 7:22 am
S 9:06- 10:49 am (A 1:46; woke at 40 min resettled; I woke her up to go get DS at school)
S 12:43-1:06 pm (A 1:54; swaddled by about 1:40ish and screamed so hard that I nursed to get her asleep)
S 2.18-3:18 pm (A 1:14; again screamed when getting her ready for the nap; woke at 20 minute mark but resettled her)
S 5-5:30 pm (A 1:42; wouldn’t resettle but woke up happy)
BT 7 pm (cranky before the hour mark and tried to get her in bed as soon as we could but with DS needing dinner it didn’t happen; screamed while being put down; woke up twice before 9 pm screaming 

Not sure if I’m in a good ole UT/OT loop or she’s just that OT that she needs super short A times or it’s something else at play.