Author Topic: Too late to start dream feed?  (Read 2897 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Onewoman

  • BW Aficionado
  • ***
  • Showing Appreciation 4
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 107
  • Location: Essex, England
Too late to start dream feed?
« on: August 13, 2005, 08:45:25 am »
Do you think 4 months is too late to start the dream feed? Currently my lo is feeding at about somewhere between 12/1.30 and 4/5.30 and having her last feed in the evening about 6 pm as she likes to go to bed early. I am breastfeeding and we are slowly moving to 3.5/4 hr feedings which she copes with fine. I would like to bring the first night feed back to say 11 pm and push the second feed forward to 6.30/7 am. The second night feed causes a bit of a problem as she is often not interested in eating at 7.

I didn't start it at the beginning because she would wake up just once at night at about 2/3 am and I could deal with that by just going to bed early.

What do you think? Any ideas will be welcome  :D .
Susana xx
Mum to Ruby Rose (Spirited, Touchy)
& Ella Joy 4/10/92 (Teenage and hormonal)

Offline Erin (redstarfalling)

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 188
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 4506
  • Location: Montreal, Canada
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2005, 17:56:59 pm »
I never really did the dreamfeed because my dd would just wake around 11 for a feed anyway :roll: .  I'd be inclined to try it and see what happens!  I suppose you could try moving back the 12/1:30 feed, but it might be better to just do a dreamfeed at 11 (or whenever you'd planned to) and see how it affects her nighttime sleep.  At 3 months, there's a good chance she'll need to wake once more during the night to feed (a lot of breastfed babies do), but she might surprise you and sleep through... :wink:  Let me know how it goes!
Erin
Mother to Megan and Samantha


Offline Darius'mom

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 5
  • Location:
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2005, 21:25:33 pm »
My son goes to bed around 9pm and I usually go in around 11 - 11:30 and dream feed him. My trick though is that he takes a bottle so all I have to do is stand there to feed him in his crib.

Offline Onewoman

  • BW Aficionado
  • ***
  • Showing Appreciation 4
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 107
  • Location: Essex, England
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2005, 07:09:52 am »
Thanks for your comments & advice  :D I haven't started trying the dreamfeed yet, last night she woke at 11.30 to eat anyway! The night before 12  :? Maybe she is doing it on her own!

Maybe I will just live with getting up twice a night! Redstarfalling, how long til they start reducing the feeds at night? We seem to be going backwards as she can't seem to go more than 5/6 hours without eating whereas it was about 7/8 hours.

Darius's Mum - do you go in at a particular phase of his sleep cycle? The only time I did try the dreamfeed, my lo was dead to the world and wouldn't take more than a few mouthfuls.
Susana xx
Mum to Ruby Rose (Spirited, Touchy)
& Ella Joy 4/10/92 (Teenage and hormonal)

Offline Erin (redstarfalling)

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 188
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 4506
  • Location: Montreal, Canada
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2005, 12:26:25 pm »
I'm not a good person to ask about reducing night feeds!  Megan's 10 months and she still wakes more than once a night to nurse. :(   For most babies, they tend to reduce the night feeds by around the 6 month mark, I think - often down to one feed.  To encourage this, you can try to get really full feeds during the day and if you know she can go longer at night and it's possibly just a waking for comfort (if she nibbles a bit then falls asleep), you can try pu/pd etc instead of feeding - if she wakes again in an hour, though - she was probably hungry! Also, if she's waking at the same time every night, she might have developed a habit - some people have found wake to sleep really successful at breaking this - you can check the sleep boards and see if it might apply. But at 4 months, going 5 or 6 hours is pretty good!
Erin
Mother to Megan and Samantha


Offline Onewoman

  • BW Aficionado
  • ***
  • Showing Appreciation 4
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 107
  • Location: Essex, England
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2005, 12:59:08 pm »
Thanks for your reply :) After she had her 3 month growth spurt she did start waking out of habit, every 3 hours, and I sorted that with pu/pd. Now it is hunger as she feeds well at night and it is never the exact same time. I am moving us towards the 4 hour routine in hopes that she will eat better during the day and need less at night, but she is soooo active she will probably need those extra calories until she is fully weaned onto solids. We will see  :?

To be honest I am feeling rather despondent at the moment. I love breast feeding and feel good about giving her the best start in life, but I wonder whether things would be more manageable if she was bottle fed. Also, there are so many things I can't eat, it really gets me down at times. She has started having one bottle a day at bedtime and she takes it so well, no fussing like she does with me - that makes me a little sad too. I want to b/f for as long as she needs up to 12 months, but it seems almost impossible to have a good routine as well. I have been working on BW for 10 weeks now, and some things have gone well, like teaching her to sleep independently and not feeding to sleep, but everything changes so quickly, I feel I just can't keep up. I don't know when she'll wake up - anytime between 6 & 7.30, when she will eat - sometimes 3hrs, sometimes 4, sometimes 2. Of course her naps are pretty irregular as well and bedtime is anywhere between 6 & 7.30.

Sorry for the moan, just need to get it out. Don't feel like you have to reply!
Susana xx
Mum to Ruby Rose (Spirited, Touchy)
& Ella Joy 4/10/92 (Teenage and hormonal)

annamum

  • Guest
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2005, 19:53:36 pm »
Well, I can relate to some of your prblems. My dd is so erratic with everything, it is a miracle we managed to have some sort of a schedule at all. She would fall into some sort of predictable routine, and then in 2 weeks time all was gone and we had to start from the scratch. She was waking often at night, sometimes 2 times, sometimes 4 times, sometimes hungry, sometimes couldn't go back to sleep. Then, she would be up at 6 am, next day at 8 am. And it is like that even now, minus night wakings, she happens still to wake up once from time to time.
Today, she woke up at 6 am and I knew she would not last till her usual nap time and of course she fell asleep in the car! So yes, things are unpredictable here and she is 18 months.

I think that we tend to think that bottle would make it easier for us but I was always wondering if those middle of the night nursings aren't actually easier when you breastfeed compared to preparing bottles, mixing them and so on, while your baby is angrily screaming for you to rush LOL. At least my dd was angry when I was not feeding her right away.

Just my thougths...

Offline Onewoman

  • BW Aficionado
  • ***
  • Showing Appreciation 4
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 107
  • Location: Essex, England
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #7 on: August 16, 2005, 08:23:47 am »
Thanks for your thoughts Monika  :) Yes, that is one good thing to remember about the night feeds - I would hate to be getting up to make bottles! And it is easier when we go out too. I just feel a bit duped into thinking that you can actually have this structured routine. I have been working sooo hard at it  :cry: Also, I think babies do like routine and I'd like to give that to Ruby, but I just can't achieve it - I feel such a failure. Like you say things go well for a week or two, then bam, something changes and all that work seems to go down the pan.

I do need to relax about it all - I wish I knew how. I am more stressed out about trying to get it all right, than the actual lack of sleep. I have become obsessed with extending naps, when to put her down 15 mins earlier or 15 mins later, what to do about night wakings, how long to wind down for, how much activity to do, whether I can ever leave the house, is she eating enough... the list goes on.

I guess in some ways it is like a regular job - you have to think about planning and how to overcome problems - but this job is soooo important, and you can't leave the problems at the door. 

More moaning, sorry  :oops:
Susana xx
Mum to Ruby Rose (Spirited, Touchy)
& Ella Joy 4/10/92 (Teenage and hormonal)

Offline Erin (redstarfalling)

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 188
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 4506
  • Location: Montreal, Canada
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2005, 14:19:14 pm »
You are NOT a failure!! Yes, babies need some structure and routine, but it's easy to have that start taking over your life! I was obsessed with extending naps, and getting more structure happening when my lo was about 3 or 4 months old - it's a rough age in a lot of ways! I think I kept believing that once I *got it* and her sleep became regular, it would all be easy from then on - little tweaks but the basics down.  Didn't really work out that way...but once I forced myself to relax and not stress too much, we both became happier. :)

Ruby's needs and habits will constantly change throughout her life.  It doesn't mean that you're not doing something right - it just means that she's growing and developing and we as parents have to try to keep up!  :roll: I found it helped to AIM for something of a routine, to AIM for longer naps and fewer nightwakings, but to accept pretty broad variations in that.  Some babies just aren't the 7 to 7, eating and sleeping like clockwork babies that we all dream about. :wink:

You're doing just fine.  Ruby Rose is healthy and happy.  Everything else is just decoration! :D
Erin
Mother to Megan and Samantha


Offline Onewoman

  • BW Aficionado
  • ***
  • Showing Appreciation 4
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 107
  • Location: Essex, England
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2005, 07:51:04 am »
Thanks Erin, it really does help to get someone elses perspective when mine is out the window  :) ! It's been so long since I had a baby, with Ella being nearly 13 now. I have tried to make sure I don't make the same mistakes as I did then and am doing pretty well. Yes, Ruby is mostly happy and very healthy which are the main things.

Maybe things will settle down a bit once she gets past the four month mark? I have tried super hard not to do any AP so that can only help  :)

I find all day I am having to make decisions about when to put her down, whether to go out now or later, feed her when she wakes or when she is actually hungry, stuff like that which just boggles my mind. I wil make a cencerted effort to relax though, yesterday my milk supply was down, I think from being stressed out, and that won't help at all.

Thanks for your support and encouragement - it means a lot to me and makes a lot of difference  :D
Susana xx
Mum to Ruby Rose (Spirited, Touchy)
& Ella Joy 4/10/92 (Teenage and hormonal)

Offline Erin (redstarfalling)

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 188
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 4506
  • Location: Montreal, Canada
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #10 on: August 17, 2005, 13:11:48 pm »
I know what you mean about juggling all sorts of stuff in your head.  It's a good thing I have lots of fingers  :wink: , because I have to keep counting: how long has she been awake, when did she last eat, how long has she been sleeping, when can I squeeze some solids in...? Parenting really is a 24 hr a day job! But the product is SO worth it - I'd do anything for those hugs and smiles!  :D

I remember the 3/4 month stage to be really really rough.  But I also remember that things started getting easier around 5 months - she was sitting up more and would play on her own, she was easier to take out during awake time.  And she could go longer without eating so I didn't feel so tied down.  If you've been good to avoid AP -so much the better!  THe next few months are such a joy in a lot of ways - they become much more interactive too.  You have a lot to look forward to!
Erin
Mother to Megan and Samantha


Offline Onewoman

  • BW Aficionado
  • ***
  • Showing Appreciation 4
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 107
  • Location: Essex, England
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2005, 07:45:34 am »
Thanks again Erin  :D I have managed to chill out a bit! (It did help that she had a good nap yesterday so I got some me time). I am really enjoying watching her development, yesterday she found her foot and was playing with it all day...and those smiles just melt me :D She is such a mellow little person (unless she gets over tired) and I'm lucky that she is happy to spend time on her own, or is happy watching me wash up or anything really except noisy places with lots of people.

I may go back to writing everything down so I don't need to keep it all in my head, then I will have more brain cells to devote to just enjoying her!

BTW I haven't tried dreamfeeding as since I posted the question she has been waking for a feed at about 11 anyway! I will just go with the flow for a bit and see how things pan out.
Susana xx
Mum to Ruby Rose (Spirited, Touchy)
& Ella Joy 4/10/92 (Teenage and hormonal)

Offline Erin (redstarfalling)

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 188
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 4506
  • Location: Montreal, Canada
Too late to start dream feed?
« Reply #12 on: August 18, 2005, 12:17:54 pm »
Sounds great!  :D
Erin
Mother to Megan and Samantha