Author Topic: What should I do?  (Read 779 times)

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mommytsa

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What should I do?
« on: November 07, 2005, 21:02:34 pm »
My DS is almost 6 mo.  For the past few weeks he has been having LOTS of night wakings (like 6-10 a night).  Between DH and I, we were doing PU/PD for most of these wakings.  I fed him twice.  Once around 11 or so, and then again sometime around 4.  Personally, I don't mind the two feeds.  The problem that I'm having is that these multiple wakings are driving both DH and I crazy with sleep deprivation.  Last night we talked and decided that I would just go and nurse him to sleep and spend part of the night sleeping with him on a mattress on the floor in his room.  Not ideal, I know, but I was desperate.  Unfortunately, that didnt' help at all.  Nothing has seemed to.  We're both at our wit's end with the pu/pd, not becasue it isn't working, but becasue we haven't had more than 2-3 hours of consecutive sleep in months. 

DS is swaddled to sleep (yes- still, and if you gals don't think that's the problem, I don't care if I have to tuck him in as a 13 year old, so I'm not going to wean from the swaddle unless I really have to as it's sometimes the only way to settle him).  When he wakes sometimes he has broken from the swaddle but sometimes not.  My Dh has had some luck (sometimes) just rolling him to the other side.  DS rolls just fine both ways, but seems to only want to sleep on his side.  He doesn't take a pacifier or suck his thumb, he chews on his fist through his blanket.  I dont' think he is teething at the moment, but he is on the verge of crawling.

I don't know what to do since I can't get at the reason behind the night wakings, and he's never really slept all that well at night, so it's not like I had something that worked before and isn't working now.  I know some of it is developmental, but at what point does that just become an excuse for the fact that I'm not doing something right?  This has been going on since his 3 month growth spurt (when we started BW).

I can't take this much longer!!!!!!  Any ideas would be much appreciated!

Offline Jayri

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What should I do?
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2005, 02:05:41 am »
hi hun, I just wanted to pop on and maybe give you some suggestions. As for the swaddling,do whatever works for you, my dd will not be swaddled, makes her too mad.
What I found helped with my dd is upping her intake of food during the day, is your ds on solids yet?
have you tried a df say at about 11 or so, it may buy you a few extra hours at night!
Just a thought on the swaddling, it could be causing him to wake up, is he trying to move in the night, if so, maybe you could try wrapping him closely/tightly in the covers of his bed.
what we have tried sort of cluster feeding in the last hours of the day, like say every 1.5 to 2 hrs, we rotate between friut and milk, be it me or a bottle.
HTH, have you tried on the EASY forums to see if any of the mums on there have ideas....
Let me know if you need any more ideas.
Good Luck hun, you will get through this.
Naomi mum to ds 17.06.03 and dd 26.03.05
&dh together since 23.02.01
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mommytsa

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What should I do?
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2005, 15:40:47 pm »
Thank you for the suggestions. I brought this up on the April/may thread, and I'm gettign some help there too.  I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and kind words.  It helps so much to actually get support even when this isn't "working" (at elast as well as I'd like) and everyone else keeps telling me to let him CIO.  That just makes me so angry!  :evil:  He's MY baby and I know what's best for US.

Thanks again!

Offline Jayri

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« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2005, 16:11:53 pm »
damn right teresa, he is your child and you do what is best for him.
Keep up the good work and the great attitude, let me know if you need anymore ideas.
TTFN
Naomi mum to ds 17.06.03 and dd 26.03.05
&dh together since 23.02.01
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Offline cwolff

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« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2005, 18:56:38 pm »
Theresa, I read your post on the other board too and I just want you to know that you are not alone.  My dd is doing some major night wakings, more so recently, but she's never slept thru.  She used to go from her bedtime around 7pm to 2am feed, then sleep till at least 5am before waking for paci.  But no, those days are long gone.  Last night I was woken every hour from midnight until 4am.  Then 2x that hour, and then 5 am took 1 hour of holding to settle her.  She finally went to sleep and slept till 8, at which time she woke looking like she hadn't slept all night.   She was so miserable after getting up that I put her down for a nap at 9:20am.  I have also had to hide out pretty much in her room after about 30 min or so into the nap, until at least the first hour is up.  Rachel was swaddled until about a month ago, and I think a lot of this waking is due to her still adjusting.  I was forced kind of, into weaning her, long story.  But I feel the same way you do, I would have swaddled her till she was 18.  Without the swaddle, I have had to adjust too.  Holding her is different, arms and legs are moving all over the place.  It's made me a lot more frustrated in general.  However, I think you have done a lot less accidental parenting compared to some (me).  Your son doesn't use a pacifier, which is a major deal.  The swaddling, well, if it's not a problem for you, then it's not for him.  I would definitely cut down on the feedings at night though, and I think at least from what it sounds like if you can get a handle on him eating during the day, the rest will work itself out.  It sounds developmental to me.  I think some stuff is going on there with DD too, because sometimes things happen that just can't be explained.

Offline cwolff

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« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2005, 18:57:11 pm »
Theresa, I read your post on the other board too and I just want you to know that you are not alone.  My dd is doing some major night wakings, more so recently, but she's never slept thru.  She used to go from her bedtime around 7pm to 2am feed, then sleep till at least 5am before waking for paci.  But no, those days are long gone.  Last night I was woken every hour from midnight until 4am.  Then 2x that hour, and then 5 am took 1 hour of holding to settle her.  She finally went to sleep and slept till 8, at which time she woke looking like she hadn't slept all night.   She was so miserable after getting up that I put her down for a nap at 9:20am.  I have also had to hide out pretty much in her room after about 30 min or so into the nap, until at least the first hour is up.  Rachel was swaddled until about a month ago, and I think a lot of this waking is due to her still adjusting.  I was forced kind of, into weaning her, long story.  But I feel the same way you do, I would have swaddled her till she was 18.  Without the swaddle, I have had to adjust too.  Holding her is different, arms and legs are moving all over the place.  It's made me a lot more frustrated in general.  However, I think you have done a lot less accidental parenting compared to some (me).  Your son doesn't use a pacifier, which is a major deal.  The swaddling, well, if it's not a problem for you, then it's not for him.  I would definitely cut down on the feedings at night though, and I think at least from what it sounds like if you can get a handle on him eating during the day, the rest will work itself out.  It sounds developmental to me.  I think some stuff is going on there with DD too, because sometimes things happen that just can't be explained.

Offline Susie-Q

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Still 2 feeds a night at 9 months??
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2005, 18:58:17 pm »
Hi ladies!  I am new to this website and am considering purchasing the Baby Whisperer books to give me some guidance.  I think I might have been in denial for the last several months, insisting my baby is hungry in the night but I'm not so sure anymore and I think he may be bamboozling me!  :oops:

He slept through the night somewhere between 5 and 6 months.  Once we started fruits and vegetables, he began to wake up 1 - 2x a night to eat.  I assumed the fruits and vegetables, which have no substance, were filling his belly and not holding him. 

Well, now he's 9 months and I'm still using that excuse. 

He's NOT a big babyfood eater.  Maybe eating 12 ounces (roughly 3 jars a day).  He's not loving table foods either, only wanting to eat puffs which are basically air and bits of banana.  So there is no real substance there.   He's also gotten 8 teeth since he was 4 months old and I see both upper canines and could swear he's working on his 1st molars the way he rubs his gums.  So I don't know if that plays a part in his solid intake. 

He goes to sleep between 8-8:30.  Wakes up between 11-12 and again between 3-4.  Sucks down a good 6-7 ounces each time.    Maybe has about 30-33 ounces in a 24 hour period. 

Do you think he could actually be hungry or am I just fooling myself??

mommytsa

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What should I do?
« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2005, 22:39:03 pm »
Thanks ladies for all your help!  I am hopeful that tonight will be better.  I only fed him twice last night, then again at 6am, and he slept until 8!! Unheard of!  Of course he woke up a bunch of times, but a few of those, he actually just mantra cried himself back to sleep.  We closed his bedroom door so that we wouldn't hear his very little noise (he's a VERY LOUD baby), but could still hear him when he got upset.  That seemed to work at least a little better.  We'll see how it goes though.

Susie-Q, I think your lo is probably hungry because he is used to eating in the middle of the night.  It sounds to me like his food intake in 24 hours is good, just that he's used to eating at night.  It's partly the same thing with mine.  It sounds like you're bottel feeding, so what you can try doing is graduually cut out those night feeds by slowing reducing the amount in each bottle and adding it to his daytime feeds.  So you might take 1 oz from the late night bottle, then offer an "extra" ounce in the morning, if that makes sense.  I would highly recommend buying the book.  If the ideas in it help you get even a little bit more sleep in the long run, it is so totally worth the time it took to read it!