HELP!! 1 year old doesn't imitate - no clapping, no waving

[GabrielleD]

I just came back from the pediatrician for DS's one year check up and I feel like I failed some kind of test.  The nurse kept asking whether DS is doing all of these developmental things and I kept answering no:
- Does he walk yet? - No, but he furniture surfs
- Does he talk yet? - No, he just babbles
- Does he at least say "Dada" or "Mama" - No, but he burped once and it sounded like "furniture"
- Is he starting to dress himself?- No, but he is an expert at taking off his shoes 
- Does he clap? - No
- Does he wave? - No
I am not too worried about the fact that he is not talking yet (should I be?), since I figure he is focusing on walking at the moment, so his verbal development is taking a back seat. Plus, I know that we are doing everything we can to encourage him to talk (read to him, sing to him, etc.).
     What DOES worry me, though, is that he has shown no signs of imitating us in any way (except if we smile at him, he smiles back), but he doesn't clap, he doesn't wave, he doesn't make kissing noises, etc. The pediatrician told me that this may not mean anything yet, but if he still doesn't wave or clap at his 18-month check-up, she may refer him for help. What does this mean?? Anybody out there with a similar experience?

[Lana]

Okay at 1 year Ewan had just taken his first steps.  He did not have any words but did babble nonsense (nonsense to us at least ) and didn't really take off in the talking department until past 2 years old.  Now he won't shut up .

He only started to clap right before he turned 1 and he didn't wave.  He did hug and kiss though.

Ewan really can't dress himself even now, he helps us but I'm not really worried that he doesn't

[Erin M]

At Katie's one year checkup, the doctor asked me, "so, can she point to body parts yet?" -- umm, I don't know I never asked.  I wish they had told me ahead of time there was going to be a test so we could have prepared 

In all seriousness, Katie started walking exactly a week before her 15 month checkup, I don't think she had more than a word or two at a year, but took off in that department shortly thereafter.  Ummm, what one year old can dress themselves? -- we take off shoes and socks here, but that's about it.  Personally, I don't think the clapping/waving is a big deal right now, but I'm going to ask Maggie who is one of my co-mods on here to look at your post since she knows way more about development than I do and can answer the last part of your post better. 

Honestly though, I wouldn't worry - with Katie, the difference between her at 12 months and her now at 16 months is astounding.  There is some serious development that takes place in those months.  What is it about doctors that they manage to upset us so much about things we shouldn't worry about?

[mum101]

No claim of being an expert here!  But some words of enouragement.  I would suggest keeping an eye on it, and just try to get him excited about one or some of the tasks. 
But as Erin says, a lot happens between 1 and 1 1/2!   

[maggieruth]

yup, i wanted to agree with your thoughts on Ethan focusing on his walking and being pretty intent on THAT for a while!  whilst its true that he maybe isn't doing some things FIRST or as quickly as some of the kids but i think YOU know best!  i was getting frazzled that our ds wasn't picking up on the baby signs that everyone seemed to think he should have figured out.   2 months later when we had stopped even bothering with them, out of the blue he signed for some food!  so he was taking it all in but wasn't that interested in showing us he knew!
milestones are just guidelines, if you get to the upper end of a milestone it can be worth getting someone else invovled, not because the baby is in any real danger of not coping but just to give some different play ideas that could be motivating and fun.  the fact that he enjoys smiles with you is great and shows that he does have the ability to participate in and enjoy social things
oh, and getting dressed? that is a BIG ask for a one year old!!!!  today for the very first time my 14 1/2 month old ds looked interested in putting something on over his feet (his shirt  ) but of course COMPLETELY lacked the coordination to do anything about it!
in fact, at 14 1/2 months ALL our ds can do on the list is clap and wave!!! (despite all my developmental prods!)
don't let it bother you and enjoy your ds and what he is keen on playing what he is liking right now!

[GabrielleD]

Thanks for putting things into perspective!! This really helped!!

[mum101]

Your DS may well know how to do those tasks, just choose not to.  A friend of mine has a 1 1/2 and he doesn't really talk.  Rarely he will come out with 'how are you' and then next utterance will be 'ga'!  I'm certain he knows his words, but that's not a focus for him. 

[GabrielleD]

Thanks all of you for your help. DH and I realized that the situation may not be as bad as we initially imagined (oh, we are VERY good at imagining worst case scenarios). He does bang stuff that he holds in each hand together, so now we just have to get rid of the things in his hands and teach him to clap his hands together. Also, we realized that we have just not waved to him much, so he would have had no way of learning that. So, our plan is now lots of clapping and waving at home, and I will take him to the library's Play Partners group once a week for more stimulation. 

[Nikki~Nathanamp;Danielle]

This happened to me with dd. I thought she wasn't doing a bunch of stuff her brother did at the same age - but when I looked at it, I was interacting with her so much differently. When I sat down and concentrated on things with her, she picked them up amazingly fast - so it wasn't that she couldn't, we just hadn't exposed her to the opportunities (and she was busy doing a bunch of other stuff ds didn't do at the same age anyway).

As for walking and geting dressed?? Well dd is almost 16mths and only just starting to think about walking, getting dressed - does it count if she lifts her arms to put them into sleeves or are they thinking they actually put clothes on themselves? Talking - well we get a lot of garbled conversation, but maybe only 10 words that dh and I can understand along with mama and dada which anyone could figure out.

[GabrielleD]

Thanks, Nikki. I am glad someone else went through the same thing. I guess up til now DH and I were so focused on teaching/encouraging DS the "important" stuff like reading, talking, walking, etc. that we didn't think of things like clapping or waving as being important to teach. Also, he is going to be an only child so I really need to make sure that he is exposed to kids regularly, so he/I can see what other things we need to focus on. Thanks for the encouragement - it really helped.

[sammiesmummie]

we put ourselves under so much pressure! I used to get really upset when i read development books and sam's not doing what 'he's supposed to do' but i've really chilled out now and i'm just letting him do his own thing and doing everything i can to encourage him when he does cool things.

[sedona314]

Gabrielle:

Matty is almost 18 months and he barely said Mama or Dada at a year old.   He was NOT clapping or pointing or waving at all, when a lot of the other kids were, so I was a tiny bit concerned.  But around a month later he started to clap and then he started to wave.  We are still waiting for words, but I've talked to so many moms that have told me their lo started talking at 2 that Im not worried.  In short, my lo couldnt do ANY of the stuff you mentioned at his one year, and I do agree that a lot happens between a year and a year and a half.  At around 14 months he started to point and try to repeat things (he is making lots of sounds but no words yet) and he took a huge leap in development. I think that if we are not too worried about what they should be doing, we can actually really enjoy watching them develop at their own pace.  Its so incredible.

Julie

[GabrielleD]

Sammiesmummie and Julie,

Thank you so much for your encouragement. I think I am at the point now that I am just ticked off at the pediatrician's office for having some really unrealistic expectations. I am even wondering if the nurse accidentally picked up the question sheet for an 18-month old instead of a 1year-old. For example, one of the questions that they asked (which of course I answered "No" to) was whether DS plays with other kids. Well, I took him to Play Partners at the library yesterday and most of the kids were older than he (I know that two little girls were 18 months, and some of the kids looked even older). Well, NONE of the kids played with other kids. They were basically in their own little worlds, occasionally "stealing" the toys from the other kids, and withdrawing back into their own world. And to think...I was starting to feel guilty that DS didn't play with other kids!! I am just not going to worry about it, and enjoy DS as he is. I'll work on waving to him and clapping, but I am not going to stress over this anymore. Thank you all for all of your help!!!

[dandandan]

Hello,

I know this post is old. However, my baby at one year old also is not imitating, clapping, pointing or waving.
I was wondering if the original poster can update on how his/her child is doing today. I'm really worried.

Thanks in advance.

[weaver]

Hey hun, this really is an old post and I don't think the OP is around the site any more.  I hope you can read over the responses and realise that everyone agreed that baby sounded totally normal, and the expectations a bit silly.  Not every baby does every thing exactly when they are "supposed" to, I really wouldn't worry. But if you're concerned and would like to chat about it, it might be a good idea to start a new thread.  I can tell you that neither of my babies were talking or walking at 1 yo, I didn't notice them waving or clapping particularly either but they were doing lots of other things and were bright and happy, and still are at ages 3 and 5.