Time to Pay the Piper.(kinda long, lots of questions)

[nursekat]

No no no!  No giving up!    I know when I got frustrated, I kept asking DH if we could return her.    It's worth it in the long run!

If you are doing a kind of EASAS, are you factoring in the second A time into your total A time?  So, if you are aiming for 1.5hr A time total, try keeping him up for only an hour, expecting the 40min shh/pat later.  Does that make sense?

[hoosiermama]

Yes.  Sorry, it is just so frustrating.  Okay.  Here is my question. I pat/sh on the shoulder until he is calm and then put him down in the crib and keep patting/shhing.  What if he starts crying, do I pick him up again?  Or do I try to keep patting and shhing in the crib?  He gets really, really mad when I try to pat and shh in the crib (arches back, cries harder).  Also, when do you know if they are ready to wean off the swaddle.  He will be calm and I will put him in the swaddle then he gets upset and starts crying and straining against it.  Thanks for all of your help.  DH told me I couldn't give ds to the neighbor so I better keep trying huh?

[nursekat]

hmmmm maybe the pat shush bounce action is too much to sleep on you, perhaps too much to sleep wi th the patting?  Maybe i ts time to back it up slowly to allow him to  proceed on his own. This way when he wakes he has the skills to go back to sleep. 

hoosiermama what do you do if you pat him a tiny bit in the crib and then walk out?  Not to let him CIO but what I do is let dd make whatever whiny noises she wants and if she starts to sound more frustrated or cries I go back in and shh/pat until she's a little better, then walk out again.  She totally can't fall asleep with me patting her (spirited child), never could.  Don't know if that's what you meant by the above, Stacy...

Fighting the sleep so hard can be a sign of overtiredness or undertiredness, too.  What have your last couple of days been looking like? 

Keep that sense of humor!    It's the only thing that got me through the early months.  And just remember that with so much that you have had going on, it is going to take some time, patience, and consistency to get it all in order.  Take huge pride in any little steps you make!!

[hoosiermama]

Hurrah!  Owen only got up 2x to eat, and 2x for binky last night!!!!! I actually feel pretty sane this morning! We think we may have figured out part of Owen's problem with wakings.  We have a train that runs behind our house (we are so used to it, we hardly notice it anymore) but most (not all) of Owen's nap and night wakings have coinsided with a train.  Why they are all of a sudden bothering him now we have no idea, but it is a theory.  Of course there is not much we can do about that unless we move and I don't see that in the near future.
The whole bounce/patt/shh thing usually settles him right down (use starts drooping on my shoulder, if I keep going to long he will fall asleep). 
As for completely giving up the binky, that is a next step, but it does help keep him calm once he is down in the crib. 
Yesterday we managed to stretch A time to 1 1/2 hours twice ( I think that helped him sleep last night), but we had no luck extending naps.  We will try again today, but we are going to church this morning!  Thanks to you and Stacy for all of your help. 

[nursekat]

Hmmm, I would also say try putting him down in the crib before he gets so drowsy.  Getting him that drowsy on you can become a prop - so when he wakes at night he has trouble falling asleep on his own.  Try to put him in his crib more awake and work on getting him to where he can settle himself more and more so he is not dependant on you to settle back to sleep.  What do you think, Stacy?

Do you have any white noise in the room?  We live on a noisy busy street (and have noisy trashy neighbors) and have found the white noise to be a godsend.

Glad to hear you had a better night... 

[hoosiermama]

Yes, we have a relaxation c.d. especially for babies (heartbeat and what not).  He usually still has his eyes open, but he does seem to settle very quickly.  I think that a few times last night I heard him up, but he did go back to sleep on his own, just not everytime.  We are making progress. 

[hoosiermama]

Maybe I shouldn't say anything, but we are right now we are at the 1 1/2 hour mark on his nap!  He fell asleep with little assistance (binky)!  I am so excited I could pee!   One small victory for today.  I had just decided that we were just going to deal with the 45 min. naps and adjust our schedule accordingly.  His first nap today was only 45 min.  He did pretty well last night too, but the early morning hours are all buggery.  Thanks so much for all of your help and listening to me rant!

[nursekat]

Yes, keep working on those naps - extending the A times is great...I just forgot to ask from your pp if you were doing it gradually - doing it too rapidly can cause overtiredness by the end of the day - start with just 5mins every few days for the FIRST A time only, then when that gets stretched out, work on the next A time, etc.  And it always takes a while - they don't do well initially until their body adjusts (think of how you feel with jetlag) - so perhaps (I'm hoping??) your naps are him adjusting to his new A times...keep it up!!  And rant away!  I'm here for ya! 

if you want, post how your past day or two have looked like and I can see if there's anything else I might have to throw in there to try...

[nursekat]

Been thinking of you, how are things going?

[hoosiermama]

Well, things have been kinda messed up around here.  Owen is now taking the majority of his naps in this crib!  Hurrah!  We have even managed to extend a few!  He is a binky addict though, and I just do not have the energy to fix that right now.  His bedtime routine is a little messed up because he used to nurse to sleep at night and isn't doing that anymore.  I think that I am losing my milk (mainly because he prefers the bottle) and I am not quite done breastfeeding (wanted to go at least six months) so I have been nursing him anytime he even looks remotely hungry.  I think once he turns 4 months old we may try pu/pd to wean the binky.  When do we wean the swaddle?  Sorry, I'm a little frazzled and sleep deprived.  I think all that sleep training has just led us into new bad habits. 

[nursekat]

HUGE APPLAUSE for getting your naps in the crib and getting them extended!!!  Try to focus on all the good progress, not the bad!  Easier said than done, I know. 

Bethany is doing the same thing with the breastfeeding, but I am ready to stop.  I probably would have felt the same as you when she was Owen's age, though.  Have you posted on the bf-ing forum?  Sometimes you can pump in addition to his bf-ing to increase your milk supply.

I would take one thing at a time.  So...you have done the crib step.  Good job!  Keep the binkie and the swaddle until you are ready to handle them - you had a lot of things on your agenda so I think taking it one step at a time is great.  Maybe work on getting your EASY and feeding sorted out before you tackle those?

[hoosiermama]

Sounds like a good plan.  We are going to the Dr. on the 23rd and I plan to talk to her about switching to all formula.  I think we will all be happier that way and be able to get back on track.  Going to nurse until then, but Owen isn't really excited about it.  He nurses for a few min. then looks at me like okay, now the bottle right?  If I try to put him back on he cries.  Such is life.  Tonight I can't sleep.  It's almost midnight here and here I am!

[nursekat]

Good luck and be sure to let usknow how it all goes!!

[hoosiermama]

Well, things are going better.  We have been pretty successful in extending Owen's naps (at least 2 of them a day) to 1 1/2- 2 hours.  The issue we are having now is no matter what time he wakes up, he thinks it is time to eat.  Because my milk supply is low (I think) I have been nursing him when he gets up.  2 nights ago he slept great, only up 2x to eat.  Last night was not as good as he was up 3x.  It is getting better, and now he won't sleep anywhere but in the crib.  The swaddling seems to be making him mad, but he won't go to sleep without it. He is starting to suck his thumb more, so we are going to try the aussie swaddle and see if he likes that any better. 

[nursekat]

EXCELLENT news!!!  Keep giving yourself some high fives and pats on the back! 

Hopefully Owen will figure the nights out once you get the days a bit more settled...Bethany has done that and I have been so thankful, I'm a wuss in the middle of the night!

I've been wondering how it has been going, I'm so proud of you!  Keep popping in with updates!