11 months and not ready for finger foods?

[Freya'sMum]

We've not combined milk with solids at all, dd's flat refusal to stick to any sort of EASY routine meant that we just had to wing it, so have a fixed milk feed routine, but she eats food when we do. Having her be part of mealtimes as a family has really helped her understand that eating is social, and we don't really pay much attention to her eating - just enough to make sure she doesn't choke - so that it's a totally relaxed and natural experience for her! I don't really monitor how much she eats, but I know she's getting enough because she's gaining weight steadily and is a happy healthy little girl! And as she's more skilled at eating now, there's much less food scattered around her highchair, so it's going in!

She has milk at 7.30, 11ish, 3ish and 6.30 (and once or twice in the night still!) but eats solids at family breakfast, lunch and tea time. She has much the same as the rest of us and then mashed fruit and yogurt for pudding, and has done so from 6 months - seems to work fine!

HTH?

Ax

[adusummer]

hi AX,
sounds wonderfull. i wish....  my lo is sitting with us too for the meals. and has been from 5 or 6 month. but she won't eat everything we do. i feed her puree or fruit with cereal and put some long pieces of food on her tray but she doesn't feed herself. sometimes she refuses the cereal too. that's why i think maybe i should switch them as she doesn't seem to have much appetite after the milk.
a regular day Goa's like this:
7:20  - 70 ~ 120 ml (after a hole night of no eating or drinking)
8:20 brakefast with us. fruit cereal, banana, yogurt...
11:30  - 100~130 ml
12:30  - our soup, veggies on the tray (she only plays with them)
14:20  -  170 ~ 200 ml
17:20  - our dinner (i feed her or she won't eat) fruit+cereal
19:20  - 150 ~ 200 ml
i have to say that she's very eager for the bottel in the morning and i can hear her tummy going but she never eat a hole lot of it.
she's 11 month + a week.
i feel like there's a need for a change but not sure how and what.
i would love to hear any ideas!
thank you.

[Freya'sMum]

Obviously I don't know what your mealtimes are like or how you are feeling, but here's a couple of thoughts...

...babies tend to pick up on adult anxiety pretty easily. If you seem anxious or over attentive, are fussing about her eating, she might be picking up on it and be responding to it by refusing to eat! Perhaps try ignoring her whilst she's eating, I mean, give her familiar foods at the table with you at mealtimes but don't make any comments or encourage her, if she picks it up great, if she licks it great, if she bites it great, if she chews it great, if she swallows it great but don't worry if she doesn't - just calmly say "you obviously weren't hungry today darling" and clear the food away. Do the same again next meal - honestly, she'll eat when she's hungry - babies have a survival instinct!

...also, do you ever have other kids over to eat? Eryn loves to watch her big sister and is now trying to mimic her. Other kids can be a great motivator - the right sort of peer-pressure really! If your dd sees other kids eating, she might just want to join in with what they're doing?

...or have a picnic! Freya has always eaten better when it's a bit fun - sitting at the table with mum and dad = dull! Sitting on the carpet on a blanket and eating out of tupperware bowls with her picnic basket set for plates etc = fun!

I'm no expert in nutrition or anything, but if she's healthy and gaining weight steadily, I wouldn't panic. Just make food fun rather than stressful and I'm sure she'll get the hang of it!

HTH?

Ax

[adusummer]

thank you Ax,
you know, you never think that you're over stressed and that but maybe there is something there. we are paying attention to her eating. we live with gramma and naturally there is a lot of focus on her around the table. i tell her what i put on her tray and i feed her too. gramma talks to her and we try to fun. i think i will try what you suggested. not to pay to much attention to her eating.  i do have a question though. where do i put the spoon feeding? should i feed her it before or after? right now I'm feeding her during. the food is on the tray and I'm feeding her the fruit and cereal. (she started to say no to that as well) sigh.

i do appreciate your advice. thank you again.
what is HTH?

[litomi]

Hi, Adusummer Here is another post that you might be interested:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85585.0
There' a post by Tygensmum that I find really HELPFUL I like her advice about we as parents offer nutricious food and LO decides how much she eats.

[adusummer]

thank you itomi. yes, it was very helpful info. i spent long part of my Y time reading it.
i have to say i fine it very busy to try to get so many things ready for her for each meal. if i cook some veggies for her, i keep them in the fridge for 4 days. but she gets board at the same time' i get some fruit or cereal ready and some toast, or soup to offer but i guess what I'm trying to say is, that it's heard to try to get fresh foods when you can't go to the store every second day and there's no time for so much cooking... is anybody feels like me about it?
i think my dd is teathing now which makes things harder.
what is congee?
i would like to try springbaby's idea of the mash potatoes with egg and other things (thank you springbaby!)but i have not given her eggs yet. i will, closer to her first birthday which comes in 2.5 weeks

[Freya'sMum]

Re: cooking - I do batches of veggie fingers about once a fortnight and put them in the freezer. So I chop some babycorn, carrots, sweet potato, broccoli, cauliflower, parsnips, potato and chicken into fingers/florets then steam them till soft but not mushy (otherwise they get squished in little fingers and never make it to her mouth!). Once cool, I divide them up into freezer-proof dishes and just get 2, 3 or 4 different ones out each mealtime and blast them in the microwave for a minute or so. This way you only have to do one fresh food shop and one batch of cooking!

Alongside this I'll toast half a pitta bread and give her a finger size bit to chew on, and then I'll have some plain natural organic yogurt and mashed fruit in a pot in the fridge ready for when she's had enough of eating finger foods but is still hungry - so I guess I'm saying, wait till she's started messing about with the finger foods before you offer the mashed stuff on a spoon. Eryn gives quite clear cues as to when she's had enough of feeding herself, ie. she chucks it on the floor rather than putting it in her mouth !

We do worry a lot about food, there is so much pressure on parents to feed their kids 'right' these days - as long as you only offer her healthy foods, and don't resort to crisps and chocolate buttons just to get her to eat something, and she's gaining weight ok, give yourself and her a break from the stress of it all!

I'm certain she'll work it out in the end!

Oh HTH? means hope this helps?

Ax

[adusummer]

yes it does! thank you! what will i do without you guys??
the thing with her though, is that  she doesn't feed herself yet. today for lunch, i gave her some brown rice, lentils, some veggies and toast with cheese. everything went strait to the floor! she had a great fun!! 
she enjoyed looking at it all on the floor from the heights of her high chair
i then spoon fed her the pure. my friend just told me: don't worry! she'll eat and she'll feed herself! so i try not to.
but i am...
i guess she'll do it when she's ready.
another thing is that she doesn't drink from a cup yet. i still give her the the avant without the valve during meals but she's not interested in more the one sip.
maybe I'm just expecting to much too fast.
she had an operation to repair her cleft palate when she was 10 months (6 weeks ago). it took her 6 days before she started to eat again. two weeks after the operation i gave her Pisces of banana and she fed herself right away. fro 2 days then she stopped...till now.  i did not introduce finger food before the operation as after she was to eat only soft pured foods. maybe i made a mistake and should have given her earlier when she was ready but i didn't want to teach something and then have her to go back to the puree.
any ways, she's gaining weight so I'm not worry about her not eating enough. just about not feeding herself (BC of my spoon feeding)and not drinking from a cup
sometimes i fill like I'm driving myself crazy!  
thanks for listening and sorry for so long

[litomi]

Adusummer, Congee is an Asian style baby food... it's like porridge made with rice or rice pudding, except it's salty not sweet. The beauty of it is you can mix veggie, meat, fish with congee.
With teething, you can bake some rusk for your LO. I cut bread into long chunks and bake them 1hr in the oven with the lowest heat you can get +leaving the oven door slightly opened. I just put them in ziplock bags.... it last for about 1 week
It's hard and can soothe your LO's itchy gum DD just loves her rusks when teething.

[adusummer]

thanks itomi. do you spoonfeed congee? is it hard to make?

[taygensmom]

Adusummer,
I saw on of your previous posts about trying the sippy cup with your LO and that she is having a hard time with it. Just a thought...there is a straw cup on the market called the "honey bear straw bottle". It's really helpful in teaching kids how to suck from a straw. It is designed so that you can squeeze the bottle and force some of the liquid up the straw to their lips. This often helps in getting them used to the idea of the straw and many children will then learn to suck a little bit to get liquid (with you helping) and pretty soon become independent and can move on to pretty much any straw system. I know you can purchase it at new-vis.com.

[adusummer]

taygensmom hi, thank you for this interesting link. everybody here thinks I'm crazy worrying to much. i don't know anymore. maybe they're right. maybe not. do you know babies with cleft?
i keep thinking, in time she'll learn and ketch up. she'll feed herself and learn to drink. am i right? i mean, it's good to proceed with the info you directed me to in mind. but do i have to be very concerned?
my lo is still using the haberman. we did not want to change it for her after the operation cause she's so use to it and we didn't want to upset her anymore.  but maybe another bottle would have made her mouth stronger?
I'm so tired from all the worries. i just want to put it behind us and be relaxed about the hole thing.
I'm blessed with a lo that is sooo good and resilient and contented baby and is really so fun to care for.
 
i want to thank you and all the wonderful people in this place.

[taygensmom]

Adusummer,
No, you are definately not crazy! You are actually very wise to watch your Lo closely, as she is more at risk for eating/feeding difficulties with a cleft. What is a cleft lip, cleft palate, or both?

I think you were fine to stick with the Haberman. It is obviously working for her, and there really is no point of changing her to another nipple at her age. Much better to go right to a cup system. Even after a repair some babies will have difficulty with chewing/drinking, because although a repair fixes the cleft all of the muscles that work around that cleft are very complex. Fixing the cleft does not fix all of the muscles (their placement/use), as this is almost impossible to do and have everything "work" perfectly. If she had a cleft lip this can also affect her ability to drink from a straw, even after the surgery (not for all children!!).

Not trying to "worry" you more, just letting you know that you are smart to keep a watch on your LO. If you do have concerns you could request a feeding consult (by a speech therapist that does feeding therapy) to get your LO assessed and see if they feel a little therapy is warranted to get her on the right track. At the very least it would give you piece of mind and/or they can give you some tips on the best way to feed her/present foods and liquids. Just something to keep in the back of your head! Sounds like you are doing an amazing job with you LO!!!!

[litomi]

Adusummer,
I'm just looking at your routine... the time between 2nd and 3rd bottle is really close + you're feeding solids in between   I know it has been 4hrs after her 1st bottle. Do you want to try to hold on that bottle longer and maybe give her lunch earlier?
Congee is not that difficult to make... you can use left over rice (Japanese rice is better) and add some soup (chicken soup, vegetable broth, etc), chopped veggie, meat and cook over low heat for 10min, until rice soaked up the soup and become soft (You can take out one grain and press it between your fingers to check whether it's too hard). You can add less and less liquid to your congee as LO gets older.

[adusummer]

thank you guys.

taygensmom, she had cleft palate only (TG)
do you think eventually she'll grow out of it and will want, on her own, to eat and drink like us?

itomi, thanks for the recipe. can i use a bit of chicken stock (no MSG) with the congee?

i think i will give her less milk to begin with, in the morning so she'll be more hungry and stop the 11:30 bottle, offer water instead when she gets up, then lunch earlier, 2:30 bottle and a later dinner.

how much formula do they have to have at this age? (11.5 mo)
(she doesn't eat the cereal now.)