Author Topic: Can you start EASY too early? (Read 1714 times)

kw · « **on:** March 15, 2007, 14:58:22 pm »

Hi

I've been trying the EASY with my second child since he was born (8 weeks ago). The naps is still a big problem and I'm wondering whether I started too soon? He's on 3 hrs and so feeds 7,10,1,4, 7 and then a df if I can but he's still not happy about drinking from a bottle (have been trying a bottle since he was 3 weeks old).

He normally lasts 1-1.5 hr of wake time (inc. feeding) and then I start the wind down - shut curtains, swaddle (at which point he starts crying), hold him for a while, put on music and then lay him down. He usually cries then so I have to pick him up and shh/pat him until his eyes close and then do this for 10-15 mins until he's asleep.

My question is - how long does it take for him to learn to self soothe? My 2 year old will soon be out of nursery and with me every day so I won't be able to spend as much time with him helping him. Do people ever leave them to cry - even if only for 5 mins? when does it become cc or cio? Sometimes I leave him for 1 min and he goes off to sleep other times he doesn't... Am I doing this too strictly and should I be spending more time cuddling him and not worrying about him self soothing?

Any comments greatly appreciated! Better go, he's crying now as he can't get himself to sleep...

karen

malialeanne · « **Reply #1 on:** March 15, 2007, 16:43:51 pm »

I don't think 8 weeks is too early for EASY. It's never too early for the routine of EASY, but sticking to the 3 hour schedule didn't happen regularly until about 9-10 weeks for us.

It sounds like you might have too much awake time. We had about 1 hour at that point including wind-down for naps. Most of the time my dd does barely 1.5 hours at almost 3.5 months.

We did shush/pat beginning at 5 weeks to teach dd to sleep and now she goes down without a problem. It sounds like your ds is doing well for his age--many moms have to shush/pat for 45-60 minutes when they first start sleep training, so 15 minutes is great!

If you keep at it withint a couple of weeks the time should shorten and he should soon go down with little intervention from you. More info on the shush/pat is on the general sleep board I think. HTH!

Loube · « **Reply #2 on:** March 16, 2007, 11:11:22 am »

Congratulations on your new baby.

I started EASY from day 5 and it was an absolute blessing as now he's approaching 9 months and has really settled with his EASY schedule. It hasn't all been EASY if you know what I mean. The big resistances I noticed where between month 3 and 4 and month 7 and 8 as they start to adapt to the next set of changes. Just as you think you've mastered it it all goes out the window.

Definitely stick with it though. But you might find that 1.5 hrs of A time is a little much. I didn't realise they needed about 20mins to switch gears to get ready for sleep and that should be that last part of the A before S.

Sometimes you might find that the S/P method is actually more stimulating than calming. I know I did. So I did my own method of just picking up over my shoulder, one hand on his bottom gently patting and giving him a nice firm cuddle with the other arm. Do what you feel is right to help sooth your little one. Mum's know best! Everything BW has suggested for us has been amazing.

* Paula * · « **Reply #3 on:** March 16, 2007, 20:58:26 pm »

I agree with the previous posters. You may want to try and shorten your A time to about an hour to an hour and 15 minutes and see if this helps your lo settle better. He may be just a bit overtired and this is why he is battling to fall asleep.

Have a look at this link with regards to A times and increasing them.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=84884.msg755322#msg755322

HTH's

Paula

Lizziebeth · « **Reply #4 on:** March 16, 2007, 21:22:46 pm »

I agree with PP that 10-15 mins of shush/pat is good. We often had to stay the full 20 mins to make sure DD was fully asleep.

Like you we did shush/pat from birth. DD learnt to self-soothe around 15 weeks or so. I thought it would never happen! but it did. She just gradually needed the shush/pat less and less,til it only took me a minute to settle her in the cot. It was if she figured out how to get through the jolts on her own and didn't need me anymore.

I don't think they have much self-soothing ability under 12 weeks so I'd hang on in there and you should see the benefits soon.

Just watch out for short naps, as that can be a sign to increase A time. I completely missed this around 12-13 weeks and kept putting DD to bed when she wasn't tired enough to sleep so it seemed like shush/pat was taking even longer. In fact, she just needed more A time.

kw · « **Reply #5 on:** March 17, 2007, 20:28:58 pm »

Thanks for the advice - will keep persevering with the shush/pat and hope he gets the hang of it soon! There are occasions when he does put himself to sleep so fingers crossed it becomes more regular! I actually think I've put him off a bit by shush/patting him every nap - do you think this is possible? As everytime he goes in his swaddle he screams like mad and so is wound up before I've even put him to bed! He's been a squirmer ever since he's been in my tummy - perhaps he doesn't like being swaddled and I should give up? My dd gave up the swaddle at 3 months so that's only a month away...

With my 22 mth old dd joining us soon every day it's going to be a challenge...

Karen

Loube · « **Reply #6 on:** March 20, 2007, 11:13:44 am »

What about a half swaddle or leaving out one arm? He does probably get a bit fed up of S/P. My DS just wants to be left alone when getting to sleep. As soon as I interfer he gets more frustrated. As we don't let them CIO we have to let them do it themselves - its hard to find the middle ground sometimes.

Good Luck

Loube

kw · « **Reply #7 on:** March 25, 2007, 19:27:57 pm »

Hi

His sleeping is getting worse! It now takes 20 mins to shush/pat and then he sleeps for 20 minutes and then wakes up and cries big time! Before he did some longer sleeps but now does 40 mins and I can't always get him down again. what do you do when he's up almost 1 hr before his next feed? He's then tired by the time I feed him - I guess I put him straight down but then the same thing happens again and so the vicious circle starts and the poor boy gets too little sleep.

I tried leaving an arm out of the swaddle but then when he cried the only thing that got him to sleep was holding his arm and legs so I'm going back to the full swaddle! Worth a try though...

What is defined as CIO? 5 mins? 10 mins? What if you sit with them whilst they cry? is that CIO? Also, when he wakes up after 40 mins and cry - when do you go in? 5 mins? straight away? when he's REALLY crying?

It is getting tougher and I was hoping that doing EASY from the beginning would help...

Karen

* Paula * · « **Reply #8 on:** March 26, 2007, 19:13:34 pm »

Do you think that your lo may be ready to transition to the 3.5 hour EASY?

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63161.0

CIO is defined as your lo crying hysterically and not getting your attention. If he is just whimpering and moaning, this may be his way of settling himself off to sleep.

kw · « **Reply #9 on:** March 27, 2007, 11:52:05 am »

Hi

Ooh yes, you could have a point about the 3.5 hr schedule - will try it...

I don 't do CIO as once he cries hysterically (when they hold their breath and let out a big scream) I go straight in but when he's crying normally I have been leaving him for around 5 mins...

What do you do when they wake up early and have no intention of going down again? Play with them and then put them down straight after their feed?

K

rebecaq · « **Reply #10 on:** March 27, 2007, 18:26:07 pm »

Hi, I totally agree with the advice you have been given. I just wanted to drop a {{{HUG}}} and let you know we are here to support you as both you and baby go through this icky moment.

Quote from: kw on March 27, 2007, 11:52:05 am

Hi

Ooh yes, you could have a point about the 3.5 hr schedule - will try it...

I don 't do CIO as once he cries hysterically (when they hold their breath and let out a big scream) I go straight in but when he's crying normally I have been leaving him for around 5 mins...

What do you do when they wake up early and have no intention of going down again? Play with them and then put them down straight after their feed?

K

I'm really glad to hear you don't do CIO. This website is based on Tracys teachings and she was very much against it

As for when he wakes early. You should keep trying to get him back to sleep with the method you are most comfortable with until S time is "oficially " over. I use the term "oficially" hastily because EASY is not about strict times. But you also want to get the point across that "This is time for being calm, in the dark, and trying to rest"

HTH

- Beca

kw · « **Reply #11 on:** March 28, 2007, 10:22:22 am »

Hi

Am trying to do that at the moment, but next week will have a 2 year old running around which makes it less easy! Have been on the "now there are two" board which has helped...

Interestingly he seems to be turning a corner and is now pretty much settling himself to sleep and when he wakes up after 40 mins just a quick stroke and shhush sometimes puts him back to sleep. I hope that this continues!

As many postings say it's just a matter of time before they get the hang of it and it obviously varies depending on your baby.

Karen

* Paula * · « **Reply #12 on:** March 28, 2007, 19:06:56 pm »

Karen I am pleased that your lo is settling well to sleep.

Please keep us posted on how things go.

Paula

*Natasha* · « **Reply #13 on:** March 30, 2007, 00:36:37 am »

I just wanted to add that some babies don't like the Patt part of Shh/Patt so perhaps you just sitting next to him Shhing until he is settled or even just placing a hand on him so he knows you are thier.

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