5 days into sleep training- this is HARD!

[bethann]

This week, since I'm on vacation and will be there for every nap and bedtime, I've started gradual withdraw with 16 mo DD so she can learn to sleep independently.  I see progress, but she is still SO attached to me in order to fall asleep.  If I move over, she scoots right over.  I will move her back, but she just seems to always want to be at arms length- or at least touch me with a foot.  I started out getting her back on a routine - one nap - and extend it to 2 hours (12:30-2:30- she woke 45 min into, but I was able to get her back to sleep).  Tonight, however, she wouldn't go down until 10:00!  And I started her at 7:15.  I'm getting so frustrated.  I don't mind having to lay with her for her to fall asleep, but I know it will be major trouble when I have this new baby in a couple of weeks.  I'd at least like to get her to fall asleep independently again.  (she used to be so good at it!). 

Does it sometimes just take a while?  Should I try something more drastic like wi/wo?  I'm just afraid that she's not even close to wi/wo.  She's seriously attached to me and won't even begin to settle into sleep mode unless she's hugging me (or at least touching me). 

[LucyA]

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} Bethann.
I'm working on the same issue, although Callum's a few months older. He was falling asleep holding my hand, and taking ages to do it! I've adjusted his routine a bit and he's going down more quickly again, and I've done GW to the point where he'll go to sleep with me sitting in a chair near the cot rather than right next to it. My mum's staying with us right now, so I've paused the training, but my plan once she goes is to start doing wi/wo. I know he can fall asleep without physical intervention from me, and I think that wi/wo will be the most effective way to get him falling asleep completely independently.

FWIW, if I were you I would continue with GW for now, and play around to get her routine right. I would personally hold off wi/wo til those 2 things are sorted out, especially the routine. Wi/wo will take ages and be really hard if you're trying to put her down when she's not tired.

For us, the GW stage took a week or so, and didn't really fall into place until the routine was fixed. HTH

[RachelC]

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} Bethann

What time is she waking from nap?

[mari]

Keep at it, it will take time.  WIWO is not the way to go yet as she needs you near still.  As she gains confidence just try to edge away a little every other night.

[bethann]

Thanks for the support and advice.  If I put her down at 12:30- she'll sleep for 45 min to an hour, unless I can try to extend her nap (which I did yesterday and she slept 'til 2:30.  I just put her down now- at 12:30 again, and will let her wake on her own.  Maybe she just doesn't need much day sleep, considering she's a fantastic night sleeper (12 hours straight).  I'll put her down tonight around 7:30 and see if it's a go. 

She still thinks it's a game if I lay at the end of the bed with her at the top.  She laughs and crawls over to me.  So- I lay next to her, but keep my distance.  It'll take a while, but she'll eventually settle. 

I'm also trying to get her to adapt to a special blanket- so she knows it's nap time when I give her the blanket. It seems to be working.   

[momofclaire]

Bethann, do you guys co sleep? If so, will you still be doing this when the new one comes along? If not, does she sleep in her own room?
I agree with PP about not trying wi/wo yet. 

[Layla]

Bethann just wanted to offer yousome {{{HUGS}}} & support.

You will get there!
 

[bethann]

Myia- here's the link to the last thread about out little sleep issues:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=95246.0

It should explain a little more as to where I'm coming from- however we are still co-sleeping.  I will be getting her her own mattress/toddler bad to go at the end of our bed.  We just haven't gotten that far yet.  We are currently focusing on falling asleep independently. 

I do wonder, however, if all of my work on independent sleep is countered by the fact that she's with us all night.  (hoping that it's not!)

and btw- we're still at the same stage- she needs to have her feet touching me.  She'd still like to be right up next to me, but she's been settling for a foot.  And she did only nap 45 minutes (12:30) today and fell asleep by 8:00 pm.  The routine's getting there. 

[momofclaire]

Thanks for the link.

I think you probably need to put her in a crib next to your bed and really do gradual withdraw.  I would start by sitting and holding her hand the first couple of nights and gradually removing yourself.  I know it's not going to be easy but it will get really hard when the new baby arrives.      

[bethann]

The crib won't fit through the doorway.     That would have been my first option.  I'm going to have to get the mattress on the floor then.  I've been putting it off as I do enjoy her sleeping with us.  The GR is working, but I don't think it will ever work to the extent that I will need unless she is in her own bed.    

At least she's on a 1 nap routine and an earlier bedtime.    That itself is a major help to me. I will continue with the Gradual Removal- and will shortly move towards her in her own bed. 

[jennyh]

keep going beth you will get there

[momofclaire]

You can always have DH take it apart and put it back together in the room, or use a pack n play?      That's great news about the sch and nap.  Keep it up.

[Gippie]

Bethann - HUGS and support to you - it IS hard...but YES - it can be done and it DOES take a lot of time!    When the 2-1 nap switch was upon us, I never realized it and had done a whole lot of AP to get my good sleeper back and the "fix" was (no joke here) 60 days long.  I bought a blow up bed and slept in her room with a cell phone to see the times and journaled it all.  It stunk, was hard BUT we did tame the sleep back to wonderful.   WI/WO was never used.....I feel like it causes a lot of stress when other methods can do the trick with less stress.    We did GW and w2S....among a million other things.

Good luck and congrats on the new baby - soon to arrive!