17 months and lots of Night wakings.........desperate for any tips and support

[kirsty_167]

Hi

I have been hijacking another post but really need to start my own as I am so desperate and sad.

My gorgeous wee boy,Jakob, is 17 months and for the last month we have had only one night he has slept through.He wakes most nights anywhere from 2-5 times and even one night where he slept for no longer than 1o min bursts throughout the night

There are many factors that have played a part in perhaps why these wakings started; teething, reflux meds stopped, developmental etc
However, it has not got better a month down the track.

His routine
up: 7.30am
8am breakfast and sippy of water
11-11.30 lunch
12-12.30 nap (usually  1 3/4 hrs to 2hrs)
3pm afternoon Tea
5pm dinner
6pm bath
6.45/7pm stories
Bed after stories

He has a blankey and recently took a dummy after being advised it will help him with soothing the reflux (grr wish i hadnt started that one though)

He goes to daycare and has the same nap at daycare.He has been on holiday since 20th dec and goes back tomorrow.

When he wakes he screams hysterically and very very loudly.When i go in he is usually always standing holding onto the side of the crib.He usually falls straight down when i go in and lays down but still crying.

I tuck him in,put dummy back in,put white noise on and leave.Sometimes he will scream the second i head for the door.I stay for a bit and keep trying until he eventually lets me go.Sometimes he will scream for about 10-20 seconds after that but stops and goes back to sleep.

I have tried staying in his room on the floor.That worked at first but doesnt eliminate wakings.Plus how will that ever stop if i do sleep in his room? Dont i then become a prop? Do i get rid of the dummy and sort teaching him to self soothe again or do i leave it be and tackle that one later?

What do i do??? Im so confused,tired and sad.So many people comment on how unusual it is for a boy his age to wake so much, yet i come on here and see that actually it isnt unusual.Why do people say things to me that make it more stressfuL? It doesnt help.

Sorry for ranting.Im up typing this after another night of less than 3 hours sleep and am totally a zombie.

Please if anyone can give me tips or some support I would so appreciate it right now.I know im not alone but in the middle of the night it really feels like it.

Thank you if you read this ranting post.

Kirstyx

PS   I have put Jakob back onto Zantac for his reflux.I am taking him to a naturopath to see if he has any food issues.He is learning to walk and took his first steps this week, he walks 5 steps only at a time so far. He got 4 molars and one other tooth cut all at once just before Xmas and what started NW off.

[andibig]

kirsty
followed you on the other thread .
i was going to say about putting him back on the reflux meds but you already have!!
other than that hes had a LOT going on.starting to walk (can really affect night sleep),4 molars.also they have another major stage of SA at around 18 mths.
you could try sleeping in his room which worked for us when Sasha had major NW after a tummy bug.sometimes i could catch the NW b4 she fully woke up.if not she had the security of me being there.and no it didn't turn into a prop for us.
HTH
Andrea

[kirsty_167]

Thank andrea!

Can i ask you a question in regards to sleeping in the room. How long did you do that for and how do you know when you dont have to anymore??? I guess when i did it i was scared id be in there til he left home lol...no Im just kidding, but i did wonder if it would become a long term thing.

Thanks for replying....so appreciated.

Kirsty

[mari]

Hi Kirsty, I'm sorry that you are having a tough time.  Please don't think that you are the only one going through this, it's such a common problem.  In fact, after visiting this site for the first time I took comfort in the fact that I was not the only one walking the floorboards at 3am.  It can get better and it will.

Have a look at this thread that might help you work out what the problem could be.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52878.0
 
TBH I'm not sure what it could be as your routine looks ok and I'm not familiar with reflux.  I'm sorry if I sound unhelpful. 

I hope that I can be more helpful when you can work out the reasons for the nightwakings.  Hugs in the meantime. (((((((((((())))))))))))

[KellyC]

Hi Kirsty and big {{hugs}}

I'm so sad to hear Jakob and you are having a hard time.  Do you think he's in pain?  I'm sure you have, but have you had him checked over by the doctor for anything that's not obvious, have his ears etc. looked at?  If it's his teeth do you give him pain meds before bed to see if that helps?

If you want to do a gradual withdrawal method without actually sleeping in the room then another tactic is to sit with your hand on him for the first couple of nights whilst he goes to sleep (and whenever he wakes) then to sit by him without touching him for a couple of nights but reassure him with your voice, then move towards the door, then at the door and finally reassure him from just outside the door.  You do each stage for a couple of nights and do the same for night wakings as you did to get him to sleep.

Kelly x

[macsmum]

hi kirsty, big ((((hugs)))) to tou,
we are having the same problems here and ds has reflux i too had stopped the meds and am tearing my hair out, the reflux seemed to have stopped and the paed suggested i wean them, but it has to be that back because i have tried everything else?
so i have put ds back on the zantac, as long as i get a new script tommorow, i am holding out all hope that once the xantac is back in his system things will go back to normal, ds has been able to self soothe for ages but now when he wakes at night i have to feed him or he will just scream and scream for like 2 hrs+ i had weaned him off the night feeds 5 months ago
how long has your lo been back on the zantac it can take a while to get back in their system, if it makes u feel better my ds was up on thursday night from 2am till nearly 6 am boy was i tired on friday!

Emma

[andibig]

kirsty
i slept in her room for about a week.i couldn't do any longer as i work shifts and was worried about waking her up at 4am LOL.if you are going to do the sleeping in the room bit you have to judge yourself how long to stay in.some people can get away with 1 night some have had to do it for a mth.
i think we are going to have to do this with sasha again as shes had a mega bad cold over the new year (compliments of my stepson) which has caused a few NW.
since he was previously a good sleeper until a mth ago i would have thought you can get him back on track (hopefully).sasha was a brill sleeper b4 the tummy bug and it did take us a good 2-3wks to sort out the NW.
HTH
Andrea

[*Natasha*]

We are going through this at the moment last night she woke 3 times DD NEVER wake at night and has always been a great sleeper. She is also fighting bedtime it is taking us 30mins to settle her and she is asleep. We are off to the doctors in an hour as i think she has another ear infection (3rd in 5months )She is also cutting her eye teeth which are suppose to be the worst.

[kirsty_167]

THANK YOU LADIES for your help and support, your kind words have helped pick me up today and remind me Im not alone (even though i know it, to hear it  helps)

Kelly, I have taken Jakob to the dr and is ears were fine, infact the dr kind of made me feel like i was being neurotic,as some do.She said there was nothing wrong with him at all and that its just teeth. I however know there is something bothering him besides teeth!! I get annoyed when i get brushed off!!! I do give him pain meds for his teeth when they are cutting only and and a few nights after.

Emma,   Jakob has been back on Zantac for 4 nights now and i expect that if that makes a difference it will be up to 2 weeks to show as it did the 1st time.Thats ok if it does make a difference


Mari...........thanks for that link it had some great info much appreciated xxx

Right got to go start the night over again now.....will post again the morning no doubt

Thanks again all

Kirstyx

[KellyC]

More {{hugs}} Kirst, and good luck.  Let us know how it goes.
K x

[estherofi20]

don't really have any advice, just some {{{{HUGGS}}}}   ... if its any consolation.. i'm also walking the floorboards at 3am   ... my DS has been doing this for 3 nights now...

[yaya]

kirsty just wanted to offer support as sounds just like what we r going through, with us in hindsight i was/is teething (DS Never had big probs with teething before this and is fine during day) but a few weeks after this all started a tootth popped out and 4 more followed.
Hang in there, if it is that, it'll pass and in the meantime i'd do anything u can do make him more comfortable.

[kirsty_167]

Hi and thanks again ladies for all your hugs and support, it has helped alot!!!

Last night was better with only 1 night waking at 1.30am, so im feeling much better today. Jakob started back at daycare today so i am actually sad and missing him like crazy I was tempted to ring him in sick When i dropped him off i stayed for an hour!!! Naughty but i didnt want to let him go!!! It has been so awesome having him all to myself for 3 weeks and hes grown so much in that time that going back to daycare was like loosing part of me IYGWIM??

Anyway despite all the rough nights I enjoyed my time off with him and had a chance to spend quality time with him which was awesome.

I have a question I wondered if someone  could help me with. Jakob hasnt had a dummy since he was little but during the xmas break when naps and bedtime went AWOL, i took advice to give him a dummy to help soothe him and help with reflux. Apparently the sucking action on a dummy helps keep the acid down.Anyway I did this out of desperation but now i feel so guilty. I get flack from myparents over dummies but i soo needed him to relax and sleep. Have I done the wrong thing? My question really is should I get rid of the dummy now or wait until the NW issues and reflux or food issues are sorted and then deal with it?

I always get good advice and i guess i need some sort of direction on what to do now in regards to this dummy, which he only has in bed at nap and bedtime.

Thanks
Kirstyxx

[KellyC]

Hi Kirsty

I'm so glad your night was better.

I felt the same when Zander went back to nursery after the Christmas break and I really missed him, especially that first day.  Maybe Jakob's sleep will be better once he's back into his normal routine?

I also took Zander's dummy away when he was 3 months old but, when he was going through a very clingy stage and I was losing my sanity between 10 months and 1 year, I started to give him one again.  For some reason I felt very uncomfortable with it and hated people seeing him with a dummy so in the end I decided I wouldn't give them to him again.  Actually, now I remember, although he didn't have the dummy to go to bed initially he was waking in the night SCREAMING like he was in agony.  To begin with I thought he was teething but after a few nights I got suspicious that he was wanting the dummy.  The next night I didn't give it to him and I had to do a fair bit of wi/wo but the following night he was absolutely fine and slept through.  I'd completely forgotten about that!  Ultimately do what you're comfortable with - if you don't mind him having it and you feel it helps then keep it but if it doesn't sit well with you bite the bullet and stop giving it to him (easier said than done I know!).

Kelly x

[mari]

I'd say, lose the dummy when you are ready.  I must admit that I weaned Alex off her's when she was 9 months as it was more trouble than it was worth, Nathan had his until 2 and a half, I didn't have a problem.  Props are not good when you have sleep issues but you said that he has reflux and this helps, so how do you think he would be if you dropped it.  
If you do decide to lose the dummy, then all I can say is good luck and it's not as hard as you might think, it took Alex 3 days and she forgot about it, same for baby I care for, he was 1 year old.  hth