Terrible eater help!!!'

[creations]

Sometimes she holds it in her hand n smash it with all her fingers. What should I do? Let her do it?... She also starts to wipe her food on her high chair tray n not eat it.

I would let her do all this. There is so so much to learn about food and only a fraction of that happens once it is put in the mouth. yes I understand that a line needs to be drawn somewhere and I think the time limit is a great idea.  Some of my DS's messiest foods are his favourite, you wouldn't think so sometimes watching him, he's great with a fork and spoon but he'll choose to mess his hands up (and he doesn't even like messy hands!) and 'paint' the food all over the table top. When I say "are you full?" he quickly says no and starts eating it, loving it!  But he likes to explore for a limited time and to just feel the temperature, texture, how hard or soft, rough, crunchy, breakable, squidgable - also testing out his own strength to see if he can mush mash and squish it's all important learning and great fine motor development.  I wouldn't allow lots of dropping over the side of the high chair (but would offer fill and dump games during A time instead) but anything on the tray/plate/table top I allow. Your little one is making her first marks, mark making leads to writing later on so every single mark and movement she makes with her sauces and food now helps her towards the more grown up skills she will learn later on. It's all for a very good reason.

I think one of the most frustrating aspects is cooking so much food for it not to be eaten. That's one good reason to give her what you are having yourself so it isn't wasted.  There are also lots of things that can be frozen if you find she likes them and you only need lift them out a few hours before they are needed.

FWIW it is really common for LOs to eat a great portion of their daily calories in the morning hours so breakfast and lunch can be the biggest meals. Dinner is very often smaller and it really shouldn't have an impact on night waking from hunger.  LOs are not like adults who eat three relatively equal portioned meals (or even a small breakfast or lunch and large evening meal) so don't expect that sort of balance yet.

[anna*]

Agree with pps. Poking, squishing, smushing, splatting food is all part of exploring it. I know the mess is a pain but you really do have to let go a bit. I know a little b oy who is nearly three. His mummy is always RIGHT THERE with a wipe and cleans up the smallest mess, every time, and now he won't eat any foods that are even the least bit messy. Even an apple slice, if the juice gets on his fingers he is done with it. He is so so so limited in his diet - of course that may not be entirely due to never being allowed to make a mess,but I can't help feeling like it plays a part. He won't go in the sand at the park, won't do fingerprinting, nothing like that - he just can't handle anything even the least bit messy.

[Miraclelim]

Thank you guys for ur advice. I will try tomorrow maybe I will start with roast veg hopefully she will love it. Thanks again. Will let it go n let her experiment with it😄

[Miraclelim]

Hi I got a new problem she used to eat textured food. Now I offer her cheesy brocolli pasta. I put in on her tray so she will pick it up n bite n chew it n spit it all out? I want to stop giving her puréed food. She loves her puréed food too much. But she will eat bread avocado n banana or pancake or biscuit. But she will chew on her veg n pasta n spit out instead of swallowing. What should I do? Keep giving it but she didnt eat anything shall I puréed it? Help n advised pls. How long should I persist?? tIA
She will eat chicken nuggets or fish finger or egg but y not her vegs. The only way to give her veg is puréed,?? I want to stop it. I gave her broccoli In chunks in cheesy sauce , she puts inherent mouthn chews it then spit it out instead of swallowing?. I don't understand.

[creations]

What other vegetables have your tried? And in what form/shape?

It could be that she just doesn't like the texture of broccoli and after chewing it and getting the cheese sauce off she doesn't feel she can swallow it, maybe it's a bit woody for her?
Have you been able to try some oven baked wedges? potato, sweet potato, turnips, parsnip - these sorts of foods can be dry baked (or toss them in a bit of oil and roast) which makes the outside quite dry and easy to pick up whilst the inside goes very soft, not a puree but really mash like.

I would just keep offering rather than puree veg.

[Miraclelim]

So this evening I thought we will have a family meal together. I cooked chicken casserole with carrot n courgette. Well that didn't go down well either. Hardly ate much all end up on the floor, or she will chew the food or suck it then spit it out. This is strange she does the same for chicken too. She should be hungry. Hardly eat anything for lunch at 1415 then when we r out eat chips at 4pm she is trying to take my chip so I only offer one. Then dinner at 1730 only ate a piece of tiny carrot n one piece courgette few tsp of rice then the rest is on the floor. I gave her 20 min before I took her off her highchair then give her a bath.
I spent whole day cooking n she hardly ate anything. So sad so frustrated n so defeated. What should I her tomorrow.
I have tried roast sweet potatoes n pumpkin. She ate 2 sticks of each that is all. 
How long should I persist? Don't know what to cook for lunch for her tomorrow. Any ideas?
Just a few days ago she was eating fried rice, omelette  or fried noodles. What is wrong with my girl? It's so depressing when u go to a party n you see ur friend's son munching floret of broccoli or anything put in his mouth n ur dd just keeps her mouth shut.

[creations]

I have tried roast sweet potatoes n pumpkin. She ate 2 sticks of each that is all.

I don't know how big the sticks were, I am imagining 'chip' size (hmm, where are you, by chip I mean fries not potato chips/crisps), in which case that is really good!  A toddler size portion of chips is 4 chips - exactly what she ate.

I would continue to offer some pieces from her dinner and even make a little extra to offer at one meal the next day to reduce the amount of cooking you have to do. Otherwise offer lunches and snacks that are relatively easy to put together, cracker, toast, bread and butter, cheese, canned beans/sweetcorn/chickpeas, any left over steamed/roast veggies from the day before, eggy bread is quite simple to make, as are pancakes, veg/bean burgers and savoury muffins which freeze really well so it's one cook off then just lift one out each day to defrost.

Really, you mustn't compare to other kids. You don't know what that child will be like at 16 or 30...and might not want your child to be like them at all. Yeah I know it is easier said than done, we are all guilty of comparisons at some point.

[Miraclelim]

Hi creations thank you for your quick respond. Yes sticks are chips. I am in Australia. :-) I know if I give eggy bread or avocado no prob. Those are her favourite. She always have pancakes or muffins, avocado bread or grill cheese on toast for breakie. It's just the veg I am struggling. How to get her to eat her greens, I am thinking of making veggie buggers hoping that is a way to give her veg. Any recipe?
I offered her butter beans those in a can bb put it was quite salty I find it. But she ate about 4 of those beans.
I might try steam beans and roast veg again tomorrow. I know I shouldn't compare but it's so hard. 
Okie I will just ride off today. Maybe is a bad day today so she doesn't feel like eating. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. Thank you creations for your advise. I am going to find a veggie burger recipe.

[Shiv52]

Hugs xx

Honestly just keep doing what you are doing and try your best not to take it personally it she doesn't eat. At that age I used to say I'd be quicker just chucking my DDs dinner on the floor as that's where it ended up anyways. And just the other night I made a lovely dinner and both girls took about a spoonful and declared they were full and that was that.

I also found at that age only putting 1-2 things on her tray helped otherwise she chucked everything else off while she was chewing something. And she ate more when she didn't have the opportunity to do that.

What about offering her a dip for her veggies?  Even your purée?

[Skadiver13]

Alos have you treid pasta with out anything on it? my DS HATES sauces of any kind and textures bother him quite a bit but he'll happily eat plane pasta with nothing on it. I get the tri-color pasta that is part veggie too so he gets a serving of vegetable sthat way as well as veggies on the side like cooked carrot slices. It may be that textures just bother her. My lo doesn't liek to chew a lot so I do cheesy scrambled eggs, avocado, pasta, bread (not toasted) but with butter, he likes thing he can pick up himself so he gets carrots and peas. He likes muffins so he gets 1/2 a homemade muffin and yogurt. All easy things to go down. I have to remove the puree puches myself. I know he'll eat them so I've kept them as a crutch because he's so little and it's a failsafe if he doesn't eat his meal he gets a pouch but now he's too smart and he holds out for them so I've lieterally in the past few days just took them away all together and it has made a difference in his eating.

[Miraclelim]

Hi siobhan what happens if u take away if all the purée food n he doesn't eat? Does he eat when u taje away all the pureed food??
The problem is the main meal. If I just give bread avocado or egg all day she will eat it. Happy to eat banana too. So how long does it take for her to get used to the texture???
She is not very keen in pasta. Sometimes depending on her mood.

[Skadiver13]

honestly we just started so it's been a bit of a battle. He didn't eat much the first few days but I offered all the food I know he likes he's just kicked up a fuss. If she's hungry she'll eat.  Liam will drag me into the pantry where we kept his puree and point to where it used to be and get mad when I say no but then he'll eat something else. Here is what helped me when my lo was your age as I freaked out (and still do sometimes about how little he eats). For a week I kept a log of every bite of food he took. It was annoying but if he took  bite of my sandwich I wrote it down, if he drank some of my juice I wrote it down. Over the week I noticed how much he really did eat. Most days he eats like a bird he just does and there is nothing to be done about it. He has crazy energy and if he wan't eating enough one would think he'd be lethargic. Some kids just don't need a lot to get by. He's followed his normal curve of growth. 

For texture my lo is 19m and for the first time the other day he ate a pretzel. He hated anything that crunched and would immedietely spit it out. Now he used to love raspeberries and blueberries but now doesnt' like them.  It's just a phase and she will grow out of it. Just offer things you know she'll eat and maybe one thing you want her to try. If she chews it and spits it out that's ok. It is said that it can take lo's up to 15 times of trying something before they'll eat it. 

so Breakfast could be
scrambled egg with cheese and 1/2 banana
Snack cup of milk and cheerios
Lunch: Does she like deli meat? My lo doesn't like cooked chicken breast but he'll eat deli meat slices becuase they are a different type of texture. More slimy I guess? with some avocado pieces (my lo loves avocado) and bread with butter
snack: fruit and crackers?
Dinner: whatever else you know she'll eat.

I've heard if you try new things when they are happy and awak and not tired like breakfast is better than dinner.  So I try the new things at breakfast and lunch (after his nap) but not at dinner when he's tired as that's his worst meal to eat anyway.  Some other things to try are frenchtoast sticks she can dunk in syrup, yogurt, applesauce. my lo loves sweet potato fries that I make. Potato pancakes? It has helped me to keep a list of foods I know he'll eat on the fridge so I can pick from them and not have to think about it.

He still to this day sdoesn't like mixed foods and will not eat "what we eat". He doesn't like the textures of cream sauces or meats and he doesn't like his food mixed together. So I do make him different meals then we eat although he'll occasionaly pick off our plate which is ok for now.  Some people will say just feed her what you eat but that doesn't always work for everyone. It's up to you to decide what works best for your lo. I will say I do keep the puree packs hidden away for a snack. I have used them a few times if we are traveling on the road and he is hungry or if he's teethign or sick and just doesn't want to eat it is a way to get him  to eat something with calories. I focus on the ones that have protein, less sugar, and usually ahve oats. They are usually veggie ones not fruit. Some will say no but I think once in a great while as a quick snack in an emergency they are ok. But for everyday they should go.

HTH

[Miraclelim]

Thank you so much for ur quick reply
Dinner is normal her smallest n worse meal. Starting this evening we are eating together as a family n she eating what we eat. Disaster hardly eaten anything. All on the food and only a few bites.

I am thinking
0645 milk ( normally 160ml)
0815Breakfast  bread with avocado ( she loves avocado so she has this 5/7 breakfast) or I make banana pancakes
1100 mill 120ml as snacks or yoghurt ( tried offering lunch but too tired to eat) or fruits
1400 after nap Lunch I am thinking of making veggie burger or veggie omelette ( she loves anything with egg)
1730 Dinner trail of family meal again. ( if she refuses shall I offer something else?) the thing I am worried is if she keeps refusing food and I keep giving something she likes she might learn that eventually mummy will give in n give me something I like)...........
1830 milk

What do u think?

[Skadiver13]

Hi hun, I still think you should keep a log for a week it might ease your mind. Also keep a list of foods on the fridge you know she'll eat and pick from them to change up the menu and not feed her the same thing. Alos, she's only 12M she's just getting the hang of this. Take a deep breath. She's only now discovering tastes, textures and things other than milk. It will take time it's not going to happen over night.

Another thing you can try is do dinner for breakfast, lunch for dinner, breakfast for dinner. You don't need to stick with a traditional "menu".. Like I said before my lo will not eat what we eat we offer a little of what we are eating on his plate with his food and if he tries it great, we try and get him to try it but if he doesn't eat it that's ok. We don't push. Mealtime should be fun. 

One thing I noticed at this age is I would swap your meals. There is no need at this age to give milk first. My LO will not eat breakfast till he's been up for 30-45m so we get him up play in his room, get dressed, brush teeth etc. Then we go downstairs and he helps me make breakfast. He sees what i'm making. What time does she wake in the morning? If it's like 6:30 you could do
 
W: 6:30
E: 7 Breakfast with a cup of milk. If she only wants bottle (I saw another post of yours) you could offer at say 8/8:30 Remember her oz's of milk are really reduced at this age. I think at 12M The recommendation at 1 year is no less than 12 ozs and no more than 20ozs per day - inclusive of milk used in food, yogurt, cheese etc.
E: 8:30 bottle .

Make sure your meals are spaced at least 2-3hrs apart. Mine are more like 3-4hrs as my lo wont eat unless he's really hungry. So for him he doesnt' get a snack between lunch and dinner as it's only 4hrs apart. He does get some milk to drink between the two but only 4oz.

I differ from most moms here in the fact that if she refuses something not to give her something else I don't necessarily agree with that. I think at 12M her tastes are changing so often that I personally would offer her a second choice because one day she may like something the next she doesn't and she can't verbalize that.  So if you offer her something you know she likes and something she may not like and she refuses both I would offer one more choice (healthy though) and if she refuses that then that's it. I don't keep offering until she eats. At 19M though I don't do that anymore. He gets what he gets and that's it. However, I do take into consideration if he's teething, doesn't feel well, didn't sleep well etc. adn I give a little leeway there.

[anna*]

Honestly, I think one decent meal per day is fine. If she eats well at lunch or breakfast I wouldn't worry about dinner at all. She can eat or not eat, it really doesn't matter. More important to get into the rhythm of meal times, and sitting at the table, 'chatting' with mummy and daddy etc. Honestly if you get into a power struggle over eating, she will win every time.