I know recently you weaned a feed to sleep prop - do you feel you are over this now or it is still an issue? I see you eventually used a paci when he was up that long NW and wouldn't settle - are you trying to wean the paci too or already weaned but resorted to it in desperation after such a hard night?
These NWs might be prop related if you are still weaning them. Otherwise though I'd be thinking pain/discomfort maybe from gas, reflux or teething, or an illness coming, or possibly SA related to a developmental leap.
And he knows now that if he screams hard enough that I will pick him up!
This is exactly what he should know - that when he really needs you, you will be there, every time he needs you. It will actually reduce his need for you in the long run as he will be confident to go to sleep on his own and only call out when he needs attention.
I'm trying to hold off on the pupd As suggested due to his age, but he's crying either way.
The BW sleep training methods are not no-cry methods. Baby is going to cry, he is going to be frustrated that things have changed if you've recently weaned a prop, and he is going to cry from tiredness and the inability to get himself to sleep whilst he still need support and is relying on you. It is a gradual process to teach him that he can self sooth. Shush/pat is not a magic fix which stops babies crying, it is a method of supporting your baby so they know you are there with them, they can hear and feel your touch and know they are not alone.
Please be aware that PUPD does not mix with paci use or other props so even with LO being too young for us to suggest PUPD as a training method we would also need to advise all props are dropped if PUPD is used. It is of course okay and part of the shush/pat method to pick your baby up when needed and continue to shush/pat in arms until calm, then lay him down and continue shush/pat in the cot.
Did you let him cry for a bit a walk back in ,
BW methods do not involve leaving baby to cry alone. We do not advocate leaving a LO to cry alone with any sort of timed return. If he needs you go to him, if he doesn't leave him.
A mantra-cry is the only sort of "cry" where we would say you can leave LO. It is not really a cry IMO, there are no tears and it is not a full on "I need you" cry although can escalate or change to this if LO encounters further problem self settling or it goes on for too long and LO gets frustrated. A mantra is more of a self soothing hum, a repetitive noise which helps LO to relax.
How did you get your babies to sleep independently without crying?
Oh mine did cry - all babies cry it is their only way of communicating with you. Mine was very slowly sleep trained from day 1. A slow gradual process where I picked up every time he needed me and soothed him using an adapted shush/pat and put down again (initially putting down asleep, then when eyes were nodding)...but he was just a few weeks old. Even as a fully independent sleeper he has still need my help and attention - and has still cried to get my attention - many many times, of course he has. And every time he has cried I have gone directly to him to see what the problem is and how I can help.
If the crying bothers you, if you are finding it very emotional and sad I suggest some ear plugs or headphones with calm music playing for you - you can still hear LO as you are in the room right there with him but it will take the edge off the sound for you. In the early days with mine I really felt his emotion, I joined him in his sadness, almost, and over time I realised I do not need to do this, I can emotionally distance myself a little. As long as I am there supporting him I do not also need to be sad.