Has anyone successfully restored a nap in a 2.5yo

[Layla]

For the 1st time in 2.5years Isabella is not napping. Started off with her being afraid of her cot/bedroom but we are over that now & I think her not napping is more to do with being stubborn & somewhat manipulative (although I hate to use that word & think that my toddler has outsmarted me ). She desperately needs a nap. She has purple bags under her eyes & she is totally miserable. The lack of nap is leading to behavioural problems... tantrums galore!

So in the last 12days we've had 1 nap of 45 mins in front of the tv, a 20-min nap in the car & finally a 2hr nap yesterday in her cot. I have been placing her in the cot for the last 2 weeks & only 1 proper nap yesterday. Everyday I tell her she doesn't HAVE to sleep but she needs quiet time. I give her some books & leave. There is no quiet time & all she does is jump up & down yelling "I want to get out! I want to go to the park"!!! She is not crying btw - as soon as she cries I go in.

Please can someone tell me if this has hapened to them... what did they do & did their toddler finally nap. Its not for me... the "Y" in EASY has been non-existant for a loooong time in this house. If she could handle being awake for 11-12hrs by all means I would not really care but by 3-4pm her behaviour is making me want to jump off the bridge!

At the moment she is going to bed at 6 - will scream "I want to get out & I want to go to the park" for approx 15-20mins. She is exhausted by 5pm btw but I don't want to be putting her down THAT early cause I want some drive for a nap the next day (maybe this is where I am going wrong ). Then she will fall asleep - will sleep all night (might still wake & stir but return to sleep without calling out) & I've been having to wake her at 6.30am for the last few days (usually she is awake at 6am). Even on the days she wakes at 6am... no nap. Then I try for a nap between 11.30-12pm. I leave her in the cot for 1 hour (is this not enough?) & then I take her out & this is where the fun begins! The only thing that comes out of her mouth is "mummy got you out" (meaning I got her out) .... "I want to go to the park". I feel like she KNOWS I will take her out & is fighting sleep & just standing at the edge of her bed waiting for me to get her. But I can't leave her there for 2hrs cause that would just be cruel (imo) - when the duration of her nap had only been 1hr15mins before all this happened.

Just in case anyone is wondering... I take her to the park e-v-e-r-y single morning (especially now that the weather is good). Used to be morning & afternoon but because our afternoons are so short & I have to feed her dinner at 4pm (any later & dinner is another struggle)... the park is for the mornings. I spoke to my mat nurse & she told me NOT to take her to the park & instead tell her that she will only go to the park IF she naps.... I am very tempted but I feel like thats bribing her & not sure if it will even work. Yesterday (the only day she took a decent nap) my mum was going to the swimming pool & told Isabella that IF she takes a nap she will take her along. So ALL morning we were saying that she will go swimming (never been before) IF she naps.... well she DID nap.... so does that mean that bribery works? Should I do a chart or something (you know the one with stars or smiley faces ). Seriously I just want her to NAP!!! I don't care if its 45mins long. Just something to refreshen her & not make her be so edgy!!!

I realise that she is sleeping 12hrs at night but I don't know HOW to keep her up any later than 6pm because as I mentioned earlier she is a bear by 5pm & if I kept her up until 7pm (her previous bedtime) I am afraid her head is going to start spinning . Her eyes already look scary as it is from the overtiredness... I really don't want her be sooo wired up that she can't fall asleep & will have night wakings. Plus yesterday with a 12.5hr night she managed to have a 2hr nap & as a result had 11hrs at night & I HAD to wake her this morning... she is obviously still in need of sleep.

If anyone has any experience in this (cause this is the 1st for me)... please share!

Layla

[Katet]

honestly I know both my nieces stopped napping by 26mo (the younger that was 2 weeks ago) & both started doing about 13 hours O/N ... if it was me I'd be putting to bed at 5pmish & letting her wake naturally & seeing how it goes... I'd still give her quiet time & the opportunity to nap, but you can't make people sleep, but you can set the scene for them to be able to sleep & in some children they seem to be ready to move to no nap as young as 2yo... girls more so than boys I think

[lawnseed]

Hello!

My DD1 still has her nap and for a while there I thought she was dropping it - to similar effect

Two thoughts... Have you tried moving the nap back a bit? Iona used to go down at 1230 and then she started having a nap party as she wasn't tired enough, then she'd get used to the party and not nap. So we moved it back initially to 2pm for an hour and a half (but I couldn't wake her!) so it stands now at 130-330 with an occasional nap party, but usually sleeps well.
My second thought - I sometimes find that Iona naps better when we've had a chilled morning baking or gardening at home - she's not as wired when she goes to bed - I know it's not always easy though! Maybe a last resort

Oh and I just remembered - my friends little girl did this and a start chart did work!!

HTH

Lorna xxx

[Peek-a-boo]

No advice, but wanted to send you {{{hugs}}}, that sounds sooooo frustrating!   Maybe give the chart a go?  (Unless you object to charts on principle . . .)

Bethany

[M and N's Mom]

I agree with trying later in the day.  I remember having to move DD's nap slowly back as she wouldn't fall asleep until close to time to get up.

The other thing, IMO (and I may get yelled at for this) is that sometimes bribery is necessary.  I'm not saying it is a good idea all the time, but if she was told she could go swimming and slept for 2h, maybe she just needs more incentive.

I implemented quiet time around 2.5yo and it is still going strong at 4.5yo.  I did have a lot of wi/wo at the beginning to "train" her but now she happily plays in her room/bed and occasionally still falls asleep (not often, but the scene is set if she needs it).  BTW, when I put books in with her initially, I put MOUNTAINS of them so she had lots to look at.

Good luck!

[Katet]

layla, was thinking about your post today as I was cuddling L who was overtired for a nap... he isn't napping everyday at 27mo but I think that is in part our nap time is very "fluid" as somedays he doesn't seem ready even at 1.30pm & other days he has fallen asleep having a cuddle at 11.30am or watching TV at 10am. I think letting a toddler self regulate to a degree rather than clock watching has always worked for us as I never had any problems with bed or nap time with my 4yo & he has always had a "fluid" time... we have had more issues with the 2yo & that is "I think" because I've tried to make him fit the routine needed for his brother, which doesn't fit his natural energy... L would be best waking at 5.30am, 10am nap & bed 6.30pm But that doesn't work for the family & while I can get it happening to fit the family he only needs to get sick once & it falls back to his natural rhythm.

[Layla]

Lorna & Sari - can you please tell me what time you pushed nap time till? Before all this she would sleep around 12.30 so 6.5hrs of A time & I am not sure if any more would do her good. I watch her very closely these days & she is showing definite signs of tiredness around 11.30am, which is when I've been trying to nap her. Lorna you & are are born on the same day actually but 2yrs apart

Kate - I know I can't MAKE her sleep & I am giving her the same opportunity as she had before to nap (quieter time closer to nap, books & the lot!). Maybe I need to work on quiet time - more books.... do I give her a clock or something???

I understand that some give up naps earlier than others but 2 weeks later isn't she at least supposed to "adjust" to the new times & if the crankiness is getting worse.. doens't that mean that she's not ready? Everything is a struggle & I really don't know how to handle it. How do you validate feelings when she's chronically overtired & probably couldn't care less what I am doing (the validation that is). This is an example of how our dinner goes... about 30mins before I give her 2 choices... she chooses 1 & I go on to make it (I still make the other one just in case). Put it on the table & instantly she wants the other choice. So i give her the other one... & then out of no-where she starts crying & tells me she wants porridge (or something totally knew). If the "3rd" request is fairly simple, I make it.... if its something like chicken parmigana.. I can't! So then I am either forcing to eat something she doesn't want to eat or she goes to sleep totally hungry because I didn't make the 3rd choice. By this stage I just want to run into my room & cry myself to sleep. When she goes to sleep hungry I feel like a total bitch cause I am depriving my child of a meal. None of these things were an issue in the past. If she couldn't get the 3'rd choice she would be more than happy to accept the other 2.... maybe with some winging but not a total meltdown like she is having now

So if this in fact this is not a phase & she is stopping her naps - how long until she adjusts (stupid question really considering they are all different). Did your nieces adjust during the day or what is going on totally normal? Is it a few more weeks or months???

& thank you so much for giving me ideas on control over noise. Didn't take too well to the earphones but I've told her she can cover her ears if something is too loud with her hands (& this has worked GREAT!!!)... why didn't I think of that myself

[Katet]

Layla, try to live in the moment (I'm reading up on Buddhism & that is a key factor) so if she doesn't nap, offer her her "dinner" at 3pm & then a snack closer to bed time... meals at a set time are a "social tradition".
I honestly am finding life so much easier to roll with what the day brings with the boys now they are older rather than having a set routine... I always try to have food in the freezer that  I can offer for a 3 or 4pm dinner if a child is exceptionally tired & may be too tired to eat at the normal time.
I really don't know how my nieces were with giving up & grumpiness as they live in Wagga Wagga, so only see then a couple of time/year... only heard the younger had yesterday when I saw my brother between flights at the airport (on his way to NZ for work)
FWIW my 4yo who has mostly given up naps for the last month is still a real grump & horror around 5pm... then gains a second wind when dh gets home

[Layla]

Yeah I wait for the 2nd wind too & thankfully my dh will help out with dinner (when home) & the rest of the night. We are doing dinner now around 4pm & a snack before bedtime - any later & it would just be impossible... I just need to be even more patient I guess....

Its nearly 5pm here & I am going to do bed 30mins earlier tonight & see what time she wakes on her own tomorrow

[Deb_in_oz]

Layla i just saw this and wanted to tell you i am in the same boat - Liv decided last week to stop napping and we have had statements as early as 10 am of "i am not having sleepies today"    she is in and out of bed getting toys and making noise and a mess and i put her back to bed. and keep trying until 3pm.  we have a couple in the last week where she finally fell asleep on her floor around 3pm  we start wind down (milk, stories, toilet etc) from 1pm with the aim of bed at 1:30.

just want you to know you are not alone (liv is 2 1/2) and as alex is also dropping her nap (at 4+ years old!!!!) i am facing a future of no real daytime "me time" as even if i institute "quiet time" i don't see that working too well for too long (will have to see).  liv always needed less sleep than alex so i was expecting this soon (but was hoping she would hold off til this summer and be a little closer to 3).  she went to 1 nap at 10 1/2 - 11 mo so what can i say ...

[lawnseed]

Layla

Cool about the birthdays!

I pushed the nap until 2 initially but it now lasts from 130-330.

It sounds like they maybe reach a stage when they now choose to go to sleep or the bribery wouldn't work. Maybe do decreasing amounts of 'rewards' (sounds better ) So if she sleeps she goes swimming, then gets an umbrella (to pluck a treat out of thin air!), then chocolate raisins, then raisins.... then stars. Or just start with a chart if she likes them.

Let us know how you get on!

Lorna xxx

[Layla]

Deb.... you have my sympathies. The thing that blows me away is that it was so SUDDEN!!! She got frightened to start with 2 mondays ago & I was ok with her not napping when she was afraid of her bedroom but then she was ok going down at night & not during the day (doesn't make sence to be scared during the day & not at night....) so now i think its just her not wanting to miss out on anything & wanting to spend all day at the park . She's pretty much been on the av side of sleep so I thought like the the "av" toddler she would be dropping around 3 yrs. I am going to work super hard at quiet time. The thing is I know she will fall asleep if quiet time was in front of tv but I really don't want to get into that habit cause she might then start demanding to sleep on the couch at night as well.

Let me know how you get going with quiet time

Sorry Lorna I meant to ask what time does she wake up... so how long between the wake up hour & nap time?

[Deb_in_oz]

i hear you.  i am not quite ready to talk about quiet time yet - i think i will perservere for another week or so.  she has always wanted to be active 24/7 and if we did not have nap "time" or bed "time" she would never choose these things (we were out last night for fireworks and a party and she was still happy to be awake at 9:30pm when we insisted they go straight to bed when we got home (usualy bedtime is aiming for 8pm)  alex had crashed in the car around 9:15 and liv was not even drowsy eyed (takes me back to the infant days when she did not want to nap)

[lawnseed]

Sorry - she wakes between 7 and half past

[M and N's Mom]

Layla, I don't think I can be much help with what time I had to push DD's nap to as she has always been my sleeper!  She would wake around 7:00 and nap at 12:00, then 12:30, then 1:00, then 1:30 and that was where it ended (1:30-3:00) so it sounds like you are already at the 6.5h A time we ended at.

I'll keep trying to think of something that might help you (and I'm sure I'll have some issues with DS in the future...).