sleeper training diary: bring it on!

[M and N's Mom]

Great job Mummy and Emily!!

[yaya]

thank u everyone! am sat at thomas' nursery induction desperate 2 update: she sttn!!! to 7.40! am so chuffed x

[**Clare**]

 WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

[KellyC]

Wow, almost 12 hours, fantastic, amazing, brilliant

K x

[rinajack]

Hooooooraaaaayy!

[Vicku]

Waaheeeeeyyyy! Great news! Well done Emily!

[yaya]

premature jump for joy LOL...tonight was not  good, tried to do the same as yesterday but the wailing got baaaaad, eventually I tricked her by putting hand on back then very very gently removing it and leaving the room....
this si so frustrating, you'd think by now she'd get the message that going to sleep solo isn't such a big deal...at this stage thomas was just playing in his cot until he fell asleep (with me in the room) so why oh why is she still crying so much???

[Vicku]

Oh hun... I don't know. Temperament? Is she spirited?

[KellyC]

{hugs} Michelle.

First of all, what a beautiful new avatar, I love it!

I think if this were me I'd think to myself that it isn't a big deal to put my hand on her back for a while initially after she's led in the cot to help her chill out ready for sleep - not to get her to sleep but just as you did tonight before taking it away and leaving but from the offset so she doesn't get upset that you haven't.  Up to you of course but I think that's what I'd do.

Kelly x

[yaya]

thanks Kelly!! See how big our kids are!! Amazing.

I need some help, all in all it's going great and compared to being rocked to sleep we're making massive progress but the crying is getting to me a lot, well not really a lot but I do feel bad. I need to not do the hand thing at all because I think I am sending mixed signals to her by putting iton then tkaing it off. So the last couple of nights I have been determined not to. It's taken less and less time each night and I haven't resorted to hand on back even for a few mins for 2 nights BUT...
why doens't she just get it!!?! silly Q I kno but usually after 3 days they get bored with soemthing and realise they are not going to get what they want (hand on back in our case) so why bother crying for it? I distinctly remember thomas movign to babbling and playing in cot at this stage of sleep training....
So now she has bottle, goes to cot, I step back and sit on sofa, she cries, stares at nightlight and cries off and on , interspersed with silence (30secs or so) until I go to her bed and say go to sleep now and she lays down. SO I am not making physical contact so why cant she just accept the 'go to sleep' from me sitting on sofa!? The crying isn't frantic but angry so I try to leave her so that after 5 mins she's tired and when I go to her she lays down.

What to do? Move to wi/wo so she doesn't expect anythign from me?
how can I make it easier for her so she isn'st crying upon goign into her cot?

I feel stuck

[M and N's Mom]

Michelle...is Emily spirited?

I only ask this, because my DS is very spirited and he STILL hasn't gotten over the crying.  We did sleep training for him at 4-5 mos and again at about 9 mos and he still complains/cries/whines at bedtime almost every night.  In his case he is a totally independent sleeper, and has been for a long time, but doesn't want to go to sleep so lets us know.  We just do wi/wo when necessary.

Not saying your DD will be like this forever, but I think how long until the crying subsides depends on the individual's personality.  My DD cried for 3 nights.  My DS has been crying for 2 years. 

[rinajack]

Zara is spirited (and emotional like I think you said emily is) and she STILL whinges when we leave her in bed.  We dont' ahve to stay with her, but she still tries it on most nights.  I think they are perhaps genuinely annoyed/disappointed etc that their day is over and they have to go to bed.

[Vicku]

That's why I asked if she is spirited too... Maybe WI/WO would work better at this stage as she's then clear on the fact that you won't help her go to sleep. I know with Lois WI/WO has always worked best. There's only one way to find out though and it might be that she gets worse again before getting better with it Remember you have come really far though, so don't despair hun.

[yaya]

Thank you my little angels!
Yes Emily is VERY spirited and I have a feeling she'd do better with wi/wo from a 'cutting off from me' point of view but then there's blind panic if she can't see me issue which we are not over yet!
Last night I decided since I started 'no hand at all' that I needed to see it through no matter how much crying (trying to take on board what everyone has said about their kids crying at bedtime...it drives me insane and I have no patience LOL) and well....
it worked : ) I put her down and tried to zone out, she whined and fussed at screamed at me for 5 mins then must have thought 'oh sod it' and layed down and went to sleep! (we had a massive afternoon walk and she was wacked)


This is a HUGE step and I am so ok with this!!!!! I am really thrilled, if we can do this consistently for 3 or 4 nights I think I will just leave the room as I think the reason she's not just babbling and playing in her cot is because shes too focused on me....I think once she realises that she is able to do it herself...i'm outta there!


Q to mums of the ones still crying at bedtime:
How long does it last? and what sort of cerying is it?

[Vicku]

My DD doesn't cry at bedtime, but we were doing WI/WO consistently for quite some months for NWs and EWs. It did take a while before she never needed us to do it, but it got easier and quicker plus further between as the weeks passed. Sorry that doesn't really answer your Q but just wanted to say that by us sticking to the same method (WI/WO) and being consistent we got to a point of blissful sleep (anti-jinx inserted right here!) And btw, DD is very spirited too.