13 month old EW's, what's going on?!?!

[chars mum]

Hello everyone,
Really hoping that someone can shed some light on our situation for us and provide some suggestions, we're utterly exhausted!!  Our LO is 13 1/2 months old and for the last week she has been waking anywhere between 4:45 and 5:30.   Her usual wake time is normally between 6:20 and 6:40.  I just started back to work 3 weeks ago and she has been significantly more clingy with me.  She also gets really upset whenever she sees me in my uniform, she clearly has put 2 and 2 together.  Could separation anxiety be the cause? 
We were also thinking that perhaps the cause is she's getting to the point of transitioning from 2 naps to 1.  If that's the case, I can't see it happening anytime soon with the EWs as she certainly can't make it until noon or 1pm without a nap! 
Here is what our days looked like before the EWs:

6:20 wake
bottle and breakfast
nap #1: 3 hours after wake (40-90 min in length)
lunch
nap #2: 3 1/2 hours after wake from nap #1 (40-90 min in length)
bottle
4:30 supper
5:30 bath
bottle and bed by 6-6:30

Regarding going to sleep, we were AP in a big way.  We were holding her until she was asleep up until about a month ago when we started to implement the Gentle Removal technique.  Now we do a wind down, pop her in her crib and lay on the floor beside her until she is asleep.  We are slowly laying down closer and closer to the door, we're about half way there at this point.
If anyone could provide some suggestions as to the cause of the EWs and how to manage them, we would be so appreciative.  THANKS!!!!!

[deckchariot]

could be SA - especially since you just started back to work.  My best guess is the 2 to 1 switch - that can (and often does) cause EWs. 
Here's some links that might help: 
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=41952.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=95670.0

btw - well done on the gentle removal technique and stopping the APing!!!!

hth
michelle

[chars mum]

Thanks for the reply!  Just read over those links and now am wondering where to start.  My LO has always had erratic naps and she isn't refusing either at this point.  So should I start by waking her from nap #1 after 30 min?  Or should I start to push nap #1 back in 15 min increments over periods of 3-4 days?   Would really like to have a game plan down before we start so that DH and I can be on the same page and know where we are heading and what things to watch out for, KWIM?   
Re: Kicking the AP bedtime habits, it has been a tough tough road but looking back to where we were a couple months ago, I'm so happy with our progress!  Not completely at the independent sleep stage yet but it's beginning to come into view.   

[deckchariot]

It's up to you how you want to go - most moms go 1 of 2 ways:

1) limit the am nap, go for a longer pm nap
2) longer am nap, limit the pm nap
In both cases, the am nap gets pushed later in the day, and early bedtime is often used when 1 (or both) naps isn't good.

So it really depends on your dd.  Abby HATES being woken from a nap, so we went with option #2.  We tried #1  for a week, and she wasn't having it, so I posted and someone suggested option #2, and that worked for us.  It took about 6 mos to make it all the way to just 1 nap.  But it did eliminate her EWs.

hth
michelle

[chars mum]

Thanks Michelle, that's super helpful!  My DD tends to have better am naps so perhaps we may have success with option #2 like you did.  Will let you know how things are going!
Helen

[deckchariot]

good luck Helen!!!  Let me know how you get on!

[chars mum]

Hi Michelle,
It's been a week and we seem to be going forwards then backwards, perhaps we're not doing something right?  We have slowly increased her first A time from 3 to 3 1/4 hrs and now we are at 3 1/2 hrs.   For the first 2-3 days her am nap was 1hr + and we were cutting her pm nap to 30 min, but for the last several days her am nap has only been 35-40 min and pm nap same.  Her wake up times have been erratic too, first 2 days we had success and she was waking between 6:30-6:45.  However, lately she begins to stir between 4:30-4:45 at which time she usually cries out but then goes quiet for a bit then makes noise again on and off.  I don't know if she goes back to sleep, I think she does but can't be sure.  We usually leave her (unless she is screaming) until at least 6am.  This morning was horrid, she woke up screaming at 4:30, would not settle on her own so DH went in and finally managed to get her back to sleep at 6, she slept until 6:30.  And now we have to set out clocks BACK an hour for daylight savings!!!!!  AAAHHHH!!!!  What are we don't wrong?  Any suggestions to get sort out these EWs?  We sooooo exhausted!

[deckchariot]

This is probably not what you want to hear - but it sounds like you're just in the midst of the 2 to 1 switch.....yikes!  I found it to be pretty erratic especially in the beginning.  One thing that was helpful to me was to try to figure out how much total day and total night sleep Abby needed.  I just kept track of good days vs. bad days and how much sleep she had on those days.  I figured out that she needed at least 2.5 hrs of naps and 11.5 - 12 hrs of night sleep.  So, if her first nap was 1.5 hrs, I'd let her get 1 hr for her pm nap, or 1/2 hr pm nap and 1/2 hr early bedtime would also work if the catnap was too late.  If her am nap was 1 hr, then I knew I was in trouble because she rarely too  1 1/2 hr pm nap, so it was going to be an early bedtime day for sure. 

Do you have any idea how much nap time she needs?  That may help to plan your day a bit.  Also, you may want to try pushing her A time out a bit as well and see if that helps.  Abby started the switch when she was about 3 1/2 hrs of A time and finished it when she could do 5 hrs of A time - so that was the move we had to make.  And we had many days when it was forward progress, then fallling backwards.  It is hard.  But there is life on the other side!  Hang in there!!!

[chars mum]

Thanks so much for the support and input, totally makes sense what is happening now.   Hmm, I actually don't know exactly how much day and night sleep she needs, will do my best to keep a sleep log, good idea!   Will also keep pushing her A times some more and let you know how we are (hopefully!) progressing. 

[deckchariot]

let me know how you get on!

[chars mum]

Right, so I have kept a sleep log for the past 11 days.  The time change really did not help things since if it had not changed, her wake ups would have been post 6am (our goal) for the majority of days!!!    There was a stretch of 3 days were she completely refused her afternoon nap but got her to bed early and had decent nights.  Seems like 11.5 hrs night sleep is optimal and the days that we had 2 hrs (or close to it) of day time naps we reached that 11.5 hrs at night.  Trouble is she doesn't often get 2 hrs of nap time!  Have stretched out both her A times to 4 hrs. now as well.   
Since keeping the log, there has been only 1 night that she has not stirred before waking up...she continues to stir (cries out, fusses for 5-10 min) around 4:30 and again just after 5.  This is making for grumpy mummy and daddy as once she stirs the first time, we lay there awake waiting for the next stir and hoping she goes back to sleep!  A couple times she has started to cry quite a lot so we go in and end up spending an hour or more trying to get her back to sleep.  Wish I knew what was causing the early morning restlessness so I could do something about it.  Any ideas?  Let me guess, another manifestation of the evil 2-1 switch?!  She is still waking up anywhere from 5am onwards which is too early.  Not sure what to do about that, should I try pushing bedtime back a little???  Any suggestions would be wonderful!  Thanks!!!

[deckchariot]

Don't you just love the 2 to 1 switch?!  It does end eventually  - so there is hope!  Yes, EWs are a very common sign of the 2 to 1 switch, so I suspect that's exactly what's going on there.  How are you doing things now - short pm nap and long am nap?  Can you post the EASY routine now with the 4 hrs of A time - just so I can see where naps are falling?  Are you aiming to split the 2 hrs of naps evenly or do you seem to have more luck with either the am or the pm nap being longer?  Have you noticed if she needs her longest  A time to be before bed or not?  Sorry for all the questions, I've been working with another mod on understanding the switch better so hopefully I can help out better

hang in there!!!

[emmayorkshire]

Hi Chars Mum (and Michele!)
You are not alone! My 14 month old DS has been doing the same since September! I'm going to follow you thread to see how you get on and gain inspiration !!! I had been thinking my LO was too young for the 2 to 1 switch and not tried it yet (He does seem to need a morning nap still) but hey, if it works for you, I'll try anything after all these months of EW!
Good Luck

[marensmama]

I'm reading this at 5:30 am, with my 13 month old having been up for the day since 5.  Some days its as early as 4:30, and I am back at work also.... totally feel your pain. 

So if my LO is up at 5:00, and I limit her morning nap, this is how our day would look like this:
5:00 wake
9:00 45 min nap
9:45 wake
1:30 nap (likely 1.5 hours)
3:00 wake
6:30 bedtime

Does that look OK?  I need to have a 6:30 bedtime at the earliest because on the days I work we don't get home until 5:30 and still have to dinner and bath before bed.  Sorry to hijack, but I could have written the original post on this thread!! 

[emmayorkshire]

Marensmama and Charsmum, looks like our day are almost the same, routine wise. Can;t for the life of me work out what's the cause of these EW. I've read the EW board posts and are currently workin on the idea it's over tiredness and going for early bedtimes - have you read "Help Im so desperate" thread?
Emma