1 nap still not working

[babybarr]

and it makes me mad when i see friends on FB stating that their child is having 3 hour naps during the day and yet i remember when they were babies and my boy was the one sleeping so well, now theirs is, it almost doesnt seem fair at all!

Yep... I know that feeling!  DS STTN 12hrs staright at 10.5weeks and now look at our mess  sometimes I don't know why I bother "tweaking" LOL!

Good luck for tonight, I'll def be interested to see what happens. 

[katie80]

I'm a fan of the early bedtime too, but I know it doesn't help everybody.  Will be interested to see how it goes.  You might have to try it a few days in a row before seeing any improvement, though, unless of course you think it leads to even earlier wakes. 

[Tweakster]

Yeah I mean at least Finn has done me the courtesy of not being a great sleeper from the get go lol  Never STTN until, gosh who even remembers, and always waking before 6 a.m. 

With his reflux and my ineptitude, we didn't stand a chance.

But I am much wiser now - so if we do have another he/she better watch it.

Hugs Jo, you are doing everything you can!

[*Jo*]

Ladies we had a 12.5 hour night!!!! He did wake at 2.15am but the strange thing was all I had to do was tuck him in and he went back to sleep! He did even see me do it, his face was in the opposite direction the whole time but all i did was tidy his blanket up and leave and that was it. He woke at 5.50am and I thought "well that's 11.5 hours sleep si that's not too bad" but then it went quiet and we didn't hear anything till 6.45am!!!!! So do you think I should do the 5 hours 40min A time again??

[*Jo*]

right, i am FUMING! im so over this bullsh*t! did the same thing as yesterday, a 5.5 hour A time and what do we get? a 40 min wakeup, patting didnt help, im sick of this nonsense, i am sitting here trying to stop these stupid tears, im so mad at Caleb! A 40 min nap!!!! for crying out loud!!! this has been going on for far too long, it doesnt matter what A time i do i get inconsistant nap lenghts, i was so mad i picked him up out of his cot and literally threw him at his father and then i walked off and slammed some doors! theres a lump in my throat that hurts like mad because i am trying not to let this overtake me.
I dont get it, i have been doing sleep training with him since he was 3 weeks old, its supposed to get BETTER not WORSE! what the hell am i doing wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like im ready to just explode!

[babybarr]

Hi Jo

I just want to say I have totally been there and can completely empathise with you.  I know that's not much help but you are doing everything you can and for whatever reason he won't nap well.  I suspect it's cos he did a long night and you could have done a longer A time - BUT that's hindsight for you.  I think you need to really try and take a step back and decide what's best...  When I got to this point I decided I had to do a fixed (ish) time and then I just accepted nap length and did bt usual time or 15mins early if nec.  It isn't ideal and no it hasn't helped our crazy NWs etc BUT it did help me.  I *wonder* if at this point you need to try and accept that actually Caleb isn't going to consistently give you a good nap length and decide how you want to approach it- i.e continue with A times or fix the time so you know where you stand.  At some point Caleb will adpt to whatever you decide. 

YOu have totally done everything you can and you are a very patient and caring mum.  Unfortunately Caleb hasn't read the BW books! 

I wish I could say yes it's going to get better but I'm no further down the line... however naps are NOT forever.

I wish I could be more help to you hun.

[*Jo*]

Thanks Laura, im feeling alot more calmer now, i decided to get over it and we went out for a bit, i took him to a playland and he had an absolute blast, had so much fun and he was in the best mood after that, DH said it was like after all that activity he was actually content, he wasnt even tired after 6.5 hours being awake after his 40 min nap, I mean he wasnt OT untired if you know what i mean, he wasnt hypo OT but rahter just content. I think to be honest we are back to the whole "boredom" thing. I think he needs alot more activity than what he gets at home and thats why hes not sleeping well. i seriously dont think he needs more A time than 5.5 hours for his age, in fact when he went to nap today he didnt cry, neither yesterday as well, whereas every other day hes been crying when we put him to bed and ive had to pat him to sleep, so i think the A time is close to correct but again i think the factor here is that hes just not getting enough actual activity. he craves other kids, socialisation, outdoors etc. im just not too sure how else to get it into him. we dont have a backyard as such, its a mudpit until we get it sorted (which ive been waiting 2 years for already grrrrr to DH) however i managed to inspire DH to make a sandpit and he started that today so that will help, but i think the poor kid is just miserable being with me all the time. Im looking at some type of daycare, just so that he has more interaction than anything, we wanted to hold off on daycare for a few years but i think he actually NEEDS it.

anyway, ive babbled on a bit, just processing my thoughts really. I have thought again today of doing set naps but i dont think thats going to help him if hes not getting the activity he needs. but then again i could be completely wrong, its just a theory and i dont know how to test it really. 
after all that playing today and then playing with his Daddy in the garage this evening he went to bed at 7pm (6.5 hours A time) he was not showing any of the normal exhausted signs, like i said, just content, ready for bed. we were going to do an early night after his tiny little nap but he did so well we just let him hang out in the garage for a bit longer.

[babybarr]

but i think the poor kid is just miserable being with me all the time.

I am SURE this is NOT true.  However, I know where you are coming from on the whole "boredom" thing.

I worry my DS doesn't get enough activity but unfortunately for us it's for his own good.  He can't do a lot of things healthy children do cos the risk of him getting poorly isn't worth it.  He doesn't do any form of toddler group (too many children carrying different bugs) he can't do swimming, soft play or anything with enclosed spaces and lots of people.   It's hard and I'm sure sometimes he must get sick of me and my mum (who has him 4days a week) too.  I think if you could put him in daycare for even just one morning a week that'd do him, and you, the world of good.

With regard to set nap time or A time, you know what works for Caleb (despite what you think ) but I think you need to try and accept the crappy naps (I know - easier said than done!) When he wakes early from a nap will he stay in his bed for a bit?  If so leave him for 30mins it doesn't matter and at least it's quiet time.  Sometimes you have to do what you need too.

[*Jo*]

12 hour night!! It's another day so let's try this again

Laura, no once hes awake he cries, never plays happily, this has pretty much always been the case, it used to worryme that he never woke up happy but I guess that's just wh he is, once he's awake he wants out of his bed

[*Jo*]

Well I'm completely out of ideas, he had an activity filled morning at  church today, had 5.5 hours A time and conked out in the car, teransferred him to his bed and he slept a total of 45mins!
I feel so lost, my last thought of not enough activity has gone right out the window as well as my confidence with this thing, I now feel like a liar after promoting BW sleep methods, because I've clearly done it all and it's just not working for us anymore, how can I promote BW when someone else looks at my child and says "um well your childs not really sleeping so why should I beleive anything you have to say"

[babybarr]

"um well your childs not really sleeping so why should I beleive anything you have to say"

I feel like this sometimes too

I think it's the long nights throwing everything. It's logical he'll want less sleep with long nights but not sure what to suggest :-/

[Tweakster]

Hugs, I know the feeling well.  All those of my friends who did CIO their kids do actually sleep.  It bugs me to no end!  But I still feel I did the right thing, even when my kid is waking at 4:30 a.m. most days :-(

Agree with the long nights theory, I think I would be tempted to cut back to 11 hours and then you might get your decent nap.  I remember Bethany posting something in my low sleep needs thread about this plan, because she had to ensure her LO had enough sleep drive to do a nap.

Just want to add also re: leaving him to self-entertain, remember when he's crying after waking he's not CIO he's just demanding your company so it's ok to let him cry a bit and just tell him 'it's rest time now'.  We can't make them sleep but we can enforce some proper rest time during the day.

[*Jo*]

oh i thought he needed more sleep in total, because i was figuring with the 12 hour nights and 40-50min naps hes getting just under 13 hours sleep and i thought he needed more than that?

how do i cut my nights back to 11 hours? i cant wake him any earlier or it will be too early and i dont want to push his bedtime further because hes already doing such a long day on such a short nap

[babybarr]

Hi Jo

I guess around 13hrs sleep is probably fine.  I reckon that maybe with a long night you can push the nap back a bit and hopefully then bt.  I wouldn't push the nap with a shorter night though given how sensitive Caleb is to A times, only with a 12hr night and see what happens.  If you can get bt to a reasonable hour then you could wake him 30mins earlier

[*Jo*]

well he ended up doing a 25min catnap in the car yesterday and what do you know? he woke up 30mins earlier this mornign! so it was a 6.15am start to the day, thewn we dwecided to watch for tired signs, got none! got to about 6 hours and we dewcided it was time for a nap, he dfid fight it still and it ended up as 6 hours 15mins A time, he crierd for about a minute anssd then fell asleep and only gave us a 55min nap! so even with pushing the A time we still got a short nap. so it makes it harder to push bedtime tongight really, sorry if this is all jubmbled i have Caleb sitting on my lap while i type this and hes playing with my eyes so there may be a few typos here and there lol

so we will go for a 7pm bedtime tonight and hope for at least a 7am wakeup and try and start moving bedtime back slowly. its just getting so bad that im wishing for the old 1.5 hour naps now! i just get NO time in the day for myself anymore so im seriously considering daycare cos this is getting ridiculous, i get nothing done! my house is a mess and I feel like im going mad with him

on the positive, DH made a sandpit in only two days! i had to share the pics just because its a miracle it got done! now we just need to fill the gaps, paint it and fill it with sand but until then, Caleb has SOMETHING he can play in outside for awhile