Need help lengthening out day, currently 4:30 a.m.-5 p.m.

[Tao]

Good luck Katie!!

So, last night, very oddly she woke up at 9:30 and STOOD UP CRYING. She hasn't had a night waking where she stood up for a VERY long time. I was thinking, maybe she's teething or something is going on, so I waited 20 minutes or so and she finally laid back down and rolled around and went back to sleep on her own. Then in the a.m. she woke at 4:30 and was crying, rolling around until 5:20 and slept back until 6 p.m.

Her day yesterday was :

600 Wake
11:35-12:45 Nap
645 BT

She went down right away for nap and BT so I'm hoping this was just a fluke because usually when she wakes at night and goes right back. I've been using this routine for a while now too and she seems to be fine at night. Hopefully it doesn't become a habit.

[alohahellokitty]

Where is she at teething wise? Does she still more to go?

[Tao]

Hi Liana,

Yes, she has A LOT more to go. She only has 4 front teeth (lower and uppers) and then just cut a canine tooth, I noticed the other day. Today she only has a 55 minute nap...Hope OT is not creeping up. Although, I've had her on one nap for so long now, seems weird to have OT hit now...

[katie80]

My money's on the teeth!  You're right about being on the routine for a while now and she hasn't had problems with it.  If you just noticed a tooth cut, I bet there are more to come.  Was it really a canine?  It seems like she would get the incisors next, but I know they're all so different.  You might look in the back for molars too.  Claire got those around 15.5-17 months.

Claire's A times seem to drop a bit while teething, so you may try slightly shorter A's.  She also shows tired cues much more while teething, so look for those too, they may help.  Have you tried medicating at all?

[alohahellokitty]

Sounds like she's doing good. I think with OT you'd be noticing some behavioral stuff at this age.... But tbh all lo's are different. So just keep your eye out.

She has a pretty good pain tolerance to pop a canine out without much warning!! That's wonderful.

Are your days starting to move back now?

Sophie is doing so good.

[Tao]

Hi Liana,

Yes! She is lengthening her day perfectly. Now, she wakes anywhere from 545 a.m. to 630 a.m. which is SOOO nice and she'll go to bed between 630 and 7 p.m. She'll sleep around an hour to an hour and 15 and while before I thought, this is a really short nap, I'm coming to realize that this is all she needs because she'll have an 11 hour night.

One thing that I've been trying to figure out is why she's been so fussy lately. I do feel like lately she's really grown into the definition of a toddler. She's almost 16 months and she's a lot more independent and opinionated and pushes things away and throws things when she doesn't like it, which I know is typical of Toddlerdom.

It's just these past few days she's been SO fussy and clingy. Usually she'll play and then have spurts of clingyness but lately it's ALL the time. She's been scratching a lot too so I'm thinking that it's eczema. My mom moved in for a bit and she insists on eating the foods that Sophie's allergic to (dairy, nuts etc.) I asked her if she could please have rice milk instead of her reg milk because no matter how careful she is, it goes on her dishes and into the sink where Sophie also has her dishes. That's the only thing I can think of that could be causing the extreme fussiness and itchiness. Yesterday she actually developed welts on her body which makes me know it's not just eczema but allergies...

It's hard having someone in your house that wants to do things their way...

[alohahellokitty]

Go Sophie! Good to hear she's moving her day back. Just figure out where you want to set it and then your good. Sounds like 12ish hours is what she needs. Toddlers really cut back their S time (as compared to when they were babies) and YES is VERY normal for Sophie to be acting like that. Welcome to the wonderful world of toddlerhood! Throwing things/throwing fits exc............... This is a HUGE cue for us about Anna. When she's sleep or teething(pain) she throws one. Sometimes it doesn't mean either of those things, she just didn't get what she wanted. But if she does it along with other cues we know its time for nap/bt exc............

The clinging goes hand in hand with teething these canines. They are the worst teeth and lo's really need a lot m more reassurance during these times. Just load her up with love and cuddles during her A time and she'll be fine. You might medicate if it seems she is in pain (I try to save it for sleep times when really necessary). I do use the teething tablets (all natural medication) during A times.

Yes its very hard having someone else in your house who wants things their way. I'm sorry. And poor Sophie bears the brunt of it by having these allergic reactions. Did you show your Mom the welts? I would!! And tell her what its from. If she refuses to use rice milk or eat things that Sophie is allergic to then I'd make a deal with her. She can ONLY if she keeps her dishes OFF Sophie's PERIOD. She must keep her stuff separate from Sophie's b/c its not fair at all that Sophie has to suffer b/c your Mom wants to have things her way. I would say she can do it her way ONLY if she can find a way to not make Sophie suffer as a result. Otherwise I'd be firm with your Mom, b/c its not fair to your daughter..... But that's just me.

[Tao]

I totally agree with you Liana. It's interesting but I also feel like house rules apply to guests and if my mom wants to stay with us, there are house rules as well! It made me a bit sad when I had told her how allergic to nuts SOphie was before she walked in. I told her that she could stop breathing as my mom was unpacking her stuff and showing me the almond cookies that she had just bought. I asked her to PLEASE not eat those in the house because Sophie could go into antaphalaxis. The next day, I see her eating it over the sink. I asked her again nicely the next day and I saw her eating it again. It took every ounce in me to not throw them out completely. If my DH found out I know he would have thrown them out right away.

LIana--quick question...

Now that Sophie has a pretty good nap and bed time that I am happy with, what happens next? DO their A times increase as they get older? I don't think I have enough hours in the day to stretch her A times any more than it is because we are approaching 6 hours before a.m. nap and bt. OR does it just stay a set nap and BT until they start fighting nap time which means they are ready to rid of nap altogether? Thanks!!!

[janecharlotte]

You might find that the nap starts to lengthen out, it might not but that is what happened when we went down to 1 nap (apart from some hiccups along the way). We have settled with a set nap and bt- our day is am A heavy but my girl seems to know that 7pm is bt, as I was very firm about it when we had antics about naps and bt.

[alohahellokitty]

Well Christine, all lo's are different. As Sophie gets older and isn't teething (or ill) her A time is going to stretch out or you'll start getting nap resistance or short naps. Or you'll get in the ut/ot cycle (ut for nap and ot for bed).

This is a good time to key into her cues and signs. She will start lengthening out her A times.

Everyone chooses to approach this differently. What works best for Anna is to move nap back a little as she needs it and bt a little as she needs it. So when we first went down to 1 nap she had a 10am nap and it eventually moved back to 12:30. Now of course her wake up moved back as well because her bedtime moved back.... Everything slid back a bit. This works best for us as DH wants time with her after work.

So as her nap and bt slide back her wake up naturally will become later. We've gone from 5:30 wake up, 10 or 10:30 nap, 6pm bt and it just all shifted backwards till we ended up with a 7-7:45am wake up, 12:30 nap (should really be around 1pm... but I try to keep it 12:30-12:45 b/c of her two days of preschool and that's when they do nap time) and a bt of 7:30 even 8pm sometimes if she needs a little more A before bed. It starts becoming a bit more of a loose routine instead of a strict schedule as they approach 2yrs old. (at least for us)

As they get older (and not ill or teething) they need less sleep. Anna-Li is on the high sleep needs side. Her friends routines are more like this: 7-7:30 wake, 1:30 nap and 8:30-8:45pm bt.

All these lo's are a bit different that's why I'm always talking about cues. As they get older you have to go on cues and not A time. Its a whole new ball game.. its best to have a 'general' gauge of when they get tired exc....... but every day they do different activities at different levels and many things effect their amount of A they need. When Anna's allergies are bad, she gets tired earlier.. same with illness or teething.

As Sophie progresses into toddlerhood she'll probably start a few fits and such. That's normal but doing it back to back is a sign of them getting sleepy. Red around the eyes, rubbing eyes, getting fussy with toys exc...... When your out of town for that wedding and she gets her A times pushed you'll really start seeing them, so watch carefully and once you see them make a mental note that means she's starting to get tired.

[Tao]

Hmm...really good point about watching her cues for the wedding. You have SUCH great ideas!!!

Speaking of the wedding, it's next week and what seemed to be just a 3 day event has now turned into a 5 day event!! There seem to be more and more activities added to the mix and every time something new is added I stress a little bit more for Sophie. She seemed to do just fine for our 2 day trip even though I APOPed the whole way through. I'm a little nervous that after 5 days of APOP it's going to be difficult coming back to our routine, but I guess I have no choice but just to go with the flow. We've got a family dinner on Wed, Bachelorette on Thursday, Rehearsal dinner on Friday, Saturday is wedding, Post wedding brunch...ahhh!!!


I'm excited to be there for the family but really hope that Sophie pulls through all this craziness. Our family has been asking if Sophie can just stay up really late on the night of the wedding so she can BE there through everything. My answer wants to be "no" but I feel so much pressure from everyone. I'm trying to plan ahead and know what the exact plans are so I can work around them and be prepared. I feel like the more prepared I am, the more I can help ease Sophie into it all..

BTW, how are your little ones? Is Jace sleeping better?

[alohahellokitty]

I wouldn't worry about the apop. Yes that is a few days in a row but we drop ALL apop the minuet we walk through the doors of our house no MATTER how long we had to do it. She understands it does NOT EVER happen in our house. Just when we aren't home. So its routine for her to do it when away but not home. That's her norm.

Sophie will totally get it as long as you drop it EVERY time the minuet you walk in the door. There are rules for away and rules for home. If she gets a bit used to it and wants it at home, it can be cleared up with just a bit of wi/wo or whatever works for her... pretty sure wi/wo is best for Sophie.

TBH the older Anna gets the more loose I become about things when around family. I now let her stay up to participate in everything. I don't want her to lose time with her family and miss memories. So as she gets older I let her do a little more later with famly for special times.

I would get all the info so you can make a 'ideal plan' and a 'back up' plan. That way you are comfortable if you do in fact let her stay up later to participate in things. Around 18 months is when I started making 'exceptions' although I wouldn't do it very many times in a row if she wasn't tolerating it well. You must watch how she's doing with it all. She might just surprise you and tolerate it well and get right back to routine in no time.

She's getting to quite a social age.. she's going to love all of the attention!!!

Like I said I always have two plans. Ideal and a back up. And I try to loosen up when I know its important.

Anna-Li is now 2 and Jace is 6 months. Jace is back to sleeping like a champ! 12-13 hrs at night and 2 naps a day. I'm learning to be more flexible with him and he's surprising me by tolerating a bit pushing A time while we are out doing something for Anna. I cant' do it too many days in a row but he can tolerate a bit of pushing 2-3 days a week... He's a angel/textbook baby.