Desperate for sleep. 7 months and nw's every 1.5 :(

[katie80]

I have to leave the house today, as I think I have strep throat, so need to head to the doctors for some antibiotics. . I really hope the kids don't get it!

Oh no, hope you feel better quick and that the kids don't get it as well.

Well, she after out crazy day yesterday, she slept well last night.

Here was our day.  What do you think went well so I can repeat it!

Exhaustion would be my guess.

I bought her some new pacifiers that glow in the dark. However, I noticed at Bt that she made no effort to replug, and often spit it out to cry when I left the room- or fried with the paci still in her mouth.

This could be due to being OT, but I do think this is an angle we should look at in terms of NWs.  Since she's pretty much always struggled with them, it may not be so much of a routine issue as we think and more of a self-settling thing.  At this age, I think it's fine not to take it away, as you mentioned it made nap time worse, but I do think you should teach her to replug. It might just help!

[timmysmommy]

Thanks Katie.  Sorry for all the typos.  I'm typing quickly on my phone.
I went to the doctors and I do have strep and I've started antibiotics.  I am so worried that the kids will get it.  I just can't handle more sickness right now.

Today
E 7:00
A
E 9:00
S 9:15
A 10:45
Out to drs
E 12:15
S 1:30
E 3:30 woke her
E 5:00
E 7:00 bath, eat, bed by 7
A 7:40 back awake.  Tried to get her back for about 15 min, then gave up and brought her down so I could eat dinner
8:30-9:45 tried to put her back asleep. 
I gave her some medicine to see if that may help if her teeth were bothering her, or if she is sick.  I'm sure she'll be up all night tonight.

I'm wondering if she just wants me.  I don't know if it is SA or what.  She won't go to sleep for dh- she just screams. Maybe I'm a prop. 

I really can't think about it right now, as I'm totally wiped out.  Let me know if you have any ideas about what to try for tomorrow. 

[katie80]

Oh Amy, I'm sorry, hon. It really seems like the perfect day, tbh. Was she asleep at 7? Usually a waking like that after BT is OT, but that doesn't really seem right for the day she had.

It could definitely be some SA if she doesn't want DH. When you say you might be a prop, why do you think so? How does she go to sleep, i.e. wind down, lovey, paci, etc?

I think for tomorrow, I'd try to do the same as you did today, but try and push the A times a bit. Let's see if you can't get a few good 2 nap days in a row and then see if we find a pattern.

(((Hugs))), I hope she lets you get some sleep tonight and I really hope the kids don't get sick!

[timmysmommy]

Katie- thanks.  I thought it was a great day too.  Until she woke back up.  I'm just so frustrated.  Like you said though, change takes some time.  I always need reminded of that as I'm wanting a quick fix.  All we can do is keep trying.  I'm just feeling so depressed about it all.  I sure appreciate your help through this.

The reason I wonder if I am a prop is because it seems she won't go to sleep unless I'm in the room.  I've started to do wd as I simply take her upstairs, put on her sleepsack, and hold her as If I am going to nurse her, but put her pacifier in.  Anything else I've tried seems too stimulating.  She's soo spirited.    Anyhow, I hold her like that until her eyes close and she's stopped moving her hands.  She does a scratching thing with her hands to self soothe I guess.  Then I put her in her bed on her side. 

If I haven't held her long enough, she rolls over to her back, and starts flipping around, pounding her feet which she does when she's excited.  If I leave, she freaks out.  If I stay she keeps trying to play with me until she is way ot.  I hope that description makes sense.  so it seems to me that she won't go to sleep without me, making me the prop.  I have tried introducing a lovey- but she just plays with it and still cries when I leave.   I noticed tonight that I can't simply pop her paci in and leave.  She wants me to stay until she is asleep.  And she is definately not replugging. I just went in and she was looking at two pacifiers glowing in the dark at her and she made no move to get them.

Dh has had little involvement with dd.  We usually split up an he helps with ds, while I do dd.  although really the bulk of the childcare goes to me while he does household stuff like cooking dinner.  Both kids prefer me, and even if he puts ds to bed, ds whines for me.  It was really tough when ds was sick as all he wanted was me, and so dh was trying to help with dd but she won't settle for him. He's gotten her asleep once the other night when she was up for those long stretches.  That is the only time in her 7 months that she has fallen asleep for him.

So, it's all me, all the time.  I'm exhausted.

[mickey44]

Hugs Amy!

DD2 also only settles for me, DH looks after DD1 so that is good but he has so little involvement with DD2.

Your day yesterday did look really good, I thought that last A was a little long though.  You could of become a prop if she needs you in the room to fall asleep.

[katie80]

I'm just so frustrated.  Like you said though, change takes some time.  I always need reminded of that as I'm wanting a quick fix.  All we can do is keep trying. 

I totally understand.  Yes, I think keep trying is your best bet.  Keep at it with the two naps a day for at least a week if you can.

It does sound like you've probably become a bit of a prop.  I know you're not feeling well, so you may not want to start changing anything right now, but I would try to start putting her down more and more awake.  Holding her til calm is just fine, but see if you can't start getting her down before her eyes close all the way.  Then, you can work on gradually getting out of the room, by standing closer and closer to the door every few days and just using your voice to help her settle.  Also, if she's not making the moves to replug herself, instead of doing it for her, start bringing her hand to the paci and teaching her to do it herself. I think if you can get out of the room and teach her to replug herself, it'll go a long way in reducing the NWs.

Finally, I get the DH thing too. I think when there's two kids involved, it's probably bound to happen a bit.  DS prefers me as well.  My advice there would be to get him more and more involved with her during her A times, maybe starting to do bath with her in the evenings, and then slowly have him start doing more BT/NW stuff.  She'll start to get used to him more and be more accepting.

More (((hugs))), it's so hard to feel exhausted all the time.

[katie80]

How's it going, Amy? Hope you're feeling better!

[timmysmommy]

Thanks for checking on me.  She has been sleeping ok at night, although we've had some long days due to being busy and out and about.  We are doing two naps of 1.5-2 hrs after a 3 hr A time.  She still doesn't replug at night, but it isn't too bad if she is only waking up twice.  

I guess she was just OT, and has caught back up now.

THANK YOU SOO much for helping me through all of this!!

[katie80]

Glad to hear things are going better. OT is such a bugger.

[timmysmommy]

So, I have stopped waking her for the DF, but she is waking on her own about 3.5 hrs after bt and I am feeding.  Then she is waking between 2-3.  I've been trying to replug instead of feeding.  Do you think she'll drop the wake up this way, and how long might it take?  Last night was the first night I had luck.  I had to put in her paci and hold her, but she fell back asleep without a fuss.

Also, during wd I am holding her with her paci in, and when she starts to drift off, I'm putting her down.  If her eyes open she won't settle in her crib for another 30 min or so.  If I pick her back up, she's asleep in minutes.  I really don't think she is falling asleep independently.  Any thoughts on this?

She just cut her first tooth, and moved from army crawling to traditional crawling on Friday.  I think when she is in her crib, she can't get her body to stop practicing iykwim.

[mickey44]

Hi Amy, wow on the move already!

I think you might be right about the not going to sleep independently, maybe if you can get her to go to sleep independently then she will be better at settling herself during the night.

Do you think she'll drop the wake up this way, and how long might it take?

I always try to give things like this a good week before I expect to see any results.

[katie80]

Wow, lots going on, Amy!

Do you think she'll drop the wake up this way, and how long might it take? 

As long as you can eventually gradually withdraw the help you're giving her, i.e. putting in the paci and holding her, yes I think she'll drop the wake up that way.  If she's pretty easy-going, she might do it without you needing to gradually withdraw the other things, but she may keep waking as long as you're 'helping' her.  All babies are different.  I agree with Stacey... give it a good week before reassessing.

If her eyes open she won't settle in her crib for another 30 min or so.  If I pick her back up, she's asleep in minutes.  I really don't think she is falling asleep independently.  Any thoughts on this?

I agree it's not totally independent.  I think if you can get her there that will definitely help her to start self-settling at night too. I'd try to start putting her down more and more awake.  It's hard when they're on the move, but she will learn.

[timmysmommy]

Thanks ladies!  We've been traveling the last few days, so we've had more ot wakeups at night.  I haven't been feeding, but I've been doing a lot of replugged.  So as usual I'm exhausted. Not to mention we are visiting inlaws who are suggesting CIO. 

I'm going to keep replugging for a few more days and hope she drops it.  I may also try w2s next since it seems she is waking at 3:30 on the dot each night.

I've been trying to hold for no longer than a minute then into the crib at wd.  I think she is settling faster. 

I'll keep at it ladies.  Thanks for your support!  Don't know what I'd do without it!

[becj86]

Glad you're seeing some progress - STing always was set back by visiting (esp. inlaws) for us.

[liz1810]

Thanks so much for posting this. Reading through, you could be talking about my 6.5 mo DD. From the passy to the waking early in the evening to wanting ONLY me to resettle her, we are in the same boat. I even have in-laws here suggesting CIO too Anyway, sad to say I have no advice, but I appreciate your updates. It's nice to feel like I'm not so alone!