13 mo. Tummy or teeth? Allergy or intolerance? Pain related refusal or dislike?

[squeakersmum]

Can I ask, why coconut milk? We've put Abi back on just formula - but I'm all for coconut milk if it's good!!

Great news that the pain seems to be gone

[deb]

Coconut milk has plenty of good fat naturally, so it can make a decent dietary replacement in many ways for dairy milk. Rice milk, for example, is pretty low in fat, so that's one reason it wouldn't be as good a replacement especially for young kids who need that fat to grow nerve coatings and supply energy.

[~*Nicole*~]

Yes I selected coconut for the good fats. We are running out of the prescription f formula so need to take him off or order more through the doctor whoI am having my doubts about.

[~*Nicole*~]

Okay, so we're now on four days of loose stools, still cutting canines that are taking ages to work their way in....and a broke out with a fever this morning. Went to the ped. to check him over and pick her brain....hadn't seen this one in ages....but she thinks I should follow a new plan. This will include, seeing a different GI, possibly having him scoped....and addressing the behavioral aspect of his refusal to eat foods. Basically, she wants me to stop giving him any bottles overnight, limit his liquids to 12 oz. coconut milk or formula per day (6 oz. morning and night for example), give NO juice and only offer him 3 meals a day. No snacking. No giving him his "preferred" foods...or if I did give them, give in moderation as part of a whole meal...as opposed to letting him have more and more of them and fill up on them.


Thoughts?? Does it seem odd to not offer any snacks in between meals to you???

I'm in for a rough few weeks with him I think.

[deb]

Maybe not offer so much as "not refuse" if he seems to want/ need them. I'd follow his cues still, as much as seems sensible.

[Erin M]

Perhaps the 12 oz of coconut milk/formula would be like a snack -- maybe give that between meals?  Seems like going from breakfast all the way to lunch would be a long time! 

[~*Nicole*~]

So far today has gone something like:

Woke at 5:20ish a bit fevery...gave a bottle of water. He dozed in my arms a bit but wouldn't go back down in the crib. He barely drank the water but wanted to hold the bottle like a security blanket while in my arms. I gave up trying to get any more sleep myself so brought him downstairs around 6:20/30.

6:45-Gave breakfast of eggs and a slice of toast with jelly. Ate the toast. Took two tiny bites of egg and then played with the rest of them refusing any more bites. I just let him play with them until I was finished with my breakfast and could tell he was done eating.

Ran a urine sample over to the doctor to check he doesn't have a UTI. He fell in the playroom and hit the back of his head on the floor. Urine looked good to them but they are sending it out to be sure. Got the name of the GI doctor she wants me to take him to.

Came home and spent awhile trying to distract him from pointing at the cabinet and fridge and saying "cake" which is his word for any food item that he likes/wants. Took him up for a nap, for which he went ballistic, screaming and shrieking. Took a bit to settle him.

Napped about 9:30-maybe 10:30.....woke screaming/shrieking while I was on the phone making GI appt. Had to call them back. Screaming carried on for 10-15 minutes. He wouldn't be held, kept throwing himself down and rolling around on the floor screaming and not allowing me to comfort him. Would run away from me.

Realized he's probably starving. Made some tortellini with beef and mixed veggies. Tortellini has some ricotta in it but I couldn't think of much else to make quickly that was "meal" ish and not snacky or similar to the toast he already at for breakfast. Added some olive oil and garlic powder for flavor. He ate a few tiny pieces of veggies. Saw a green bean and a carrot piece go in. Did not notice if any tortellini went in but it didn't seem like it. I offered him a bite of tortellini and he refused. I let him play with it all again for a bit....then cleaned him up and took him out of the seat.

SIGH. BIG BIG BIG SIGH.

This is going to be a VERY long week.

So what is that....like 100, maybe 200 calories so far today? 1 slice of bread with sugar free jelly (couldn't find the regular jelly earlier so used DH's). Oh I gave him the 6 oz of coconut milk after breakfast as a "snack" and he barely drank that, but did have some of it with his "lunch". There is still some in the cup. So honestly, he might have had 40 calories from that?

I don't know if I have enough umph in me to handle this.

Any "meal" ideas to try?

[Erin M]

Ok, so what are you avoiding right now?  What do you have luck with?  It seems like ( based on the rest of this thread) that he's eaten different things at different times and the doctor doesn't want him eating some things too.
(((hugs))) that sounds rough!

[~*Nicole*~]

Well until we have more guidance from the newly recommended GI and more testing done, besides just trying to limit dairy and avoid cow's milk entirely, we are going to give him whatever else we would normally make for ourselves or DD as true "meals" so... the things to avoid for "snacking" purposes are....cheerios, goldfish (dairy AND snacking purposes), crackes, rice cakes, granola bars, chips, pretzels, bananas and fruits (though I imagine she wouldn't mind me offering them as part of a meal so long as they were a smaller portion and given with other things and not give him more if that's all he chooses to eat)...all the things he will gladly eat while refusing more proper foods.

I'm just so tired. He has a really stubborn, demanding way about him at times and it can be very exhausting. Limiting his foods was much easier when he was younger. I love him to pieces, but he sure can shriek and climb and grab and tantrum and yell and cry and hang and all of those wonderful toddler behaviors.

[clazzat]

(((hugs))), Nicole. Sorry you are having a tough time.

Is the doctor restricting his foods because she suspects other intolerances or just so that he is properly hungry when it comes to mealtimes? I'm sure you said already, but my brain has turned to mush through lack of sleep so I can't remember anything (as witnessed by me leaving my keys in the front door yesterday - again! ).

[Erin M]

I used to make some banana bran muffins from an Annabel Karmel recipe that the kids have all liked.  James generally eats Cheerios and fruit for breakfast, but I remember the girls eating pancakes and sometimes eggs at this age (no luck with James on the egg front yet), or maybe smoothies (I'm sure you could substitute coconut milk in there for regular milk) - does he drink through a straw?  Lunch - maybe something in the sandwich family --- we did melted cheese on toast for aged with the girls, but you can spread fruit as well, tortillas perhaps?  James likes quesadillas and there's no end to the amount of stuff you can put on there, beans spread quite well.  He generally eats yogurt, avocados, and some other fruit/veggie for lunch.  Will he dip things?  What about hummus or something else to dip?  What about baked bits of sweet potato, so kind of like a chip, but minus the grease and salt in the kinds they sell at the store?  James devoured some broccoli I made the other day in a sauce made out of veggie stock, soy sauce, garlic, and ginger -- it was fairly light on the soy sauce as well, so not too salty either.  Does any of this help? 

[~*Nicole*~]

Yes it does! Just need some ideas so I can offer a few choices at each "meal". And I'm burnt out so the ideas are not coming from me. Lol

[~*Nicole*~]

Clare-Sorry was on my phone last time. Yes she wanted him to be properly hungry. Thing is after the last two days...he surely WAS hungry....throwing awful fits, screaming for food and pointing at the cabinets and fridge and having tantrums where he threw my phone, grabbed my glasses off my face and threw them, threw himself on the floor, tried to pull me by my clothes or push me from behind, screaming/shrieking, even pushed over a side table with a lamp on it...and then would be FINE instantaneously if given food that he would eat. Like a rice cake. I honestly think he was STARVING but would still refuse certain foods. But those foods he has basically ALWAYS refused.

I was just about to lose my sanity when we went to the GI today (the NEW one) and she actually LISTENED to me (over DS's screaming tantruming the WHOLE time). She got a full history. Asked to have the ped. send over his weight/growth chart records. Is having us get blood work done and me send in stool samples to check for blood. Wants me to move to Neocate Jr. and give up to 8 oz 3 or 4 times daily to increase hypoallergenic intake of calories. Wants me to avoid dairy/soy and switch to prevacid. Said in a month we'll go back and see if he's improved. If not, will send for endoscopy to try to see for indications of food allergy. Said his behavior may well be linked to the pain of reflux and/or allergy and in the meantime to try to get him to eat normal meals and snacks but to go ahead and give the neocate and just boost his calories as he's still small, etc. So less worrying about the food refusal than the ped. indicated.

I feel like at least now someone is going to say something beyond "he'll grow out of it" and "wait"...and she is actually going to run tests and LOOK to see what may actually be CAUSING the trouble.

[clazzat]

Oh, so glad to hear that you have found someone to listen - that's about 75% of the battle. Also glad that she is allowing you to feed him when he is hungry - that will make things a lot easier for you, I'm sure. Hope you get answers soon.

[~*Nicole*~]

Me too. I knew he was a stubborn one, but I was quite shocked at how long he could go on for and how intense his temper was! I thought DD was intense...I was surely mistaken!