Barbara - hopefully you get a good night...I would be so worried about keeping DD up until 8:30pm if I wasn't sure if she napped or not, you are a brave woman!
Well, our routine is night 9 pm-8 am with 45 min-1.5 h nap (depending how night was). I try to maintain fixed bt and nap times and let him regulating himself if he wants nap or not. If he naps, I try to have him up at 3.30-3.45 max. If he doesn't nap, I anticipate bt of half an hour. This plan is working by now: he normally sleeps even with no nap, if he's too OT he wakes half an hour or so earlier (so he gives only a 10.5 h night), but when it happens I allow a slightly longer nap the day after and he catches up.
This plan works for us because we both work full time and for us is very difficult to do ebt. Moreover, our evening routine include a dinner all together as a family (which is our moment together and I don't like the idea of give it up), so doing bt too early is not feasible if we have to prepare dinner and eat before ds bt. Finally, Friday is the grannie's afternoon, F is at MIL's or my mum's and sleeps there, and it is impossible to tell them to have ebt. We have already problems with normal timings when he's there
Anyway, F had 11.5 h night (from 8.45 pm to 8.20 am)
with a nw due to a mosquito running around his head...
Now he's napping and I am going to wake him after 1 h.