Support for dropping the nap part 8....

[TB9]

MamaC- DD wakes between 7 and 8am.  I stick with set nap time at 2pm no matter what time she gets up because she does better with the set nap as opposed to set A time.  How long do you usually have for wind down before nap?  I know M is spirited like my DD and we spend 30minutes chilling out before nap time, I think taking the time to wind down with these spiriteds is key to getting them to nap (sometimes she even takes 15min to settle after her 30min wind down!).

Vicki - I love the star light idea!  I remember being older and needing to read before bed in order to be able to fall asleep...I'm sure we will have to let DD do the same

[Mama_Mia]

How long do you usually have for wind down before nap? 

It is impossible to do a winddown with M, if I try he just screams that he wants to go out and play. So we take a bottle to his room and rock while he drinks it, then when he finishes we rock another 5-10 minutes then he goes into bed. It is pitch black and white noise playing the whole time we are in his room. He used to nap at 1:30 until 2:15 but then he started waking earlier so then I was trying nap at 1:00 but he wouldnt nap, so I went back to 1:30 but he still wouldnt nap. So today we did 2:00 and he did nap. I'm going to have to wait and see what tonight and tomorrow brings.

[Aishi]

Up at 4.55 after 7 pm BT . If he has nap at 10.30 and BT for 6 Isn't that just going to mean an even earlier wu? This is what was happening before with set naps. He just doesn't tack on to night sleep which is y i thought he needs to drop the nap so that his 11hr sleep is at least at night. I really was expecting at least a 6am wu

My ideal day would be 7-8 so that any EW would be 6 rather than 5! any thoughts?

[Truly Blessed]

Ugh, that 10 hour wake up sounds like habit to me  Have you tried W2S  for it Hun  Either than or maybe he is a LO who needs an uncapped nap and a short night in order to get maximum sleep out of him  . I know it's easy for me to say but I would stick with the plan because if you don't try it for a few days you can't know it won't work. Also if he does wake at 4 am tomorrow then there is a better chance of him resettling, because it's a NW YK 

What do you do when he wakes early Hun  Do you just get him up or keep him in bed 

(Hugs)

x.

[Aishi]

I think ill try the uncapped nap. It's just not feasible getting him into bed for 6 :/ it'll mean diff meals and BT from dd which is just a pain! I was doing set nap of 12 and 7 pm BT which had pushed wu to 6 so maybe I need to try that again? I stopped cos he had 5am EW but he wasnt ss for nws then so maybe I rushed it a little. I just don't know

W2s has mixed results. Sometimes he has a nw at 4 anyway and then is up at 5

Thanks Vicki I do appreciate your help and am not disregarding advice I just don't think a 6pm BT will work within the family esp if dh isn't home to watch dd (which he isn't most nights ) xx

[Truly Blessed]

Thanks Vicki I do appreciate your help and am not disregarding advice I just don't think a 6pm BT will work within the family esp if dh isn't home to watch dd (which he isn't most nights ) xx

Hi Hun, it is just advise, and the most important thing is that you know him best and any of us on here are only here to try and guide you but at the end of the day we are not there with him. Mother's Instinct reigns supreme. I agree it sounds like an uncapped nap and a set BT has a good chance of suiting him, which is why I suggested it as an idea. It does and has worked for some LO's, even though it means a long day. Some LO's need their sleep spread between a long nap and a short night or they don't cope. Not capping the nap means that although he will have a longer morning it will be more restorative and it will give him the chance to self regulate. This will hopefully help you to understand what his needs are. And the other thing of course is that the routine has to fit in with all the family or your stress levels will rise.

I'm keeping everything X'd for you Aishi. Keep us informed.

x.

[barbaraz78]

Hi Aishi, we always had a short (well, not too short, 10.5-11h, and in theory a EW is defined when night is shorter than 10 h...) night and a long (mostly uncapped) nap before the 2.5 yo. My DS always needed such long nap also because with our family routine we are not able to do ebt. It worked great for us. We always had a late bt (9 pm) that suits our family routine better (DH and I come back home from work around 7 pm) so in the odd 10 h nights (we had some) F woke at 7 am, that was not too early.
Now, at 3 yo, we have a pretty long nap still (around 1 h) and nights are quite consistently 11 h (9 pm-8 am). Sometimes are 10.5 h, but in general they lengthen with age. It is possible that your LO can't simply do 12 h nights. There are many that can't so you can work to adjust the routine thinking to a 11 h night.

Since 12 am nap and 7 pm bt worked you can try to stick to them for a while and then slowly moving bt to 7.30 or 8 (watching carefully for OT). So if your lo gives you 10-10.5 h nights you still have a 6-6.30 wu. What do you think?

[TB9]

Good luck Aishi!  DD does better with more of a set naptime, instead of set A times.  The way I see it, if she wakes earlier than normal it's her way of regulating because she knows her nap is at a certain time so she's waking because she needs more time before her nap.  I just do my best to keep her nap right around the same time so she doesn't get confused (so if she wakes early and is looking like she needs to go down for nap early I will bring her nap forward by 15-20min or so).  I've taken matters into my own hands though by waking her from her nap to make sure her bedtime isn't super late, BUT my DD will tack on that sleep to her night sleep so that works for us.  Every kid is different, and sometimes it just takes time to figure it out!

MamaC - I think it would really help if you could do more of a wind down with M...could you even just look at some books or do quiet stuff out of his room so he doesn't freak out before bottle time?  You could even start by trying 5min of quiet time out of his room before bottle then add another 5min until he's got a good wind down that chills him out more   Good luck with the later nap, hopefully it works for you!  I find just having that hour or so without DD running around is amazing for my mental health

[Aishi]

Thnks ladies that's really useful info and advice. I think you're right I that he can only do 11hr nights when not OT and 10-10.5h when he is...

I think ill do as u suggest Barbara but will prob just go straight to 12-12.30 pm nap and 8 pm BT. We've been having EW for about two months so he's used to the long a times 7-8hrs sometimes and handles the OT ok. This is my plan. Today

Wu 5
Nap 12-1.40 uncapped
BT 7.45/8

And just hope that as his body clock adjusts over next couple of weeks wu will get later...until its 6.30/7. I can live with that . I'm going to ty w2s consistently at 4 for next week or so too to see if it makes a diff. Wdyt? Could it work?

Thanks again for all your input btdt experience and advice. It makes me feel much better knowing I'm not alone xx

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun,

I'm sorry to say this  but this worries me:

Wu 5
Nap 12-1.40 uncapped
BT 7.45/8

Approaching a 15 hour day, I just can't see the EW dissapearing on a day that long. I know (sorry presume) that you're hoping for a 10 hour night with a 5.45/6.00 WU, so I see your logic. Maybe someone else has been there and had success. I hope it does work though Hun, it's just that an uncapped nap of 1.40 isn't that long. On a 1.5 hour nap at your DS age, Sam still did a 13 hour day and that's not uncommon. I think with a whopper first A time of 7 hours his 2nd A time could be shorter and him still go down well. Personally I would go for 7.00 (14 hour day) maximum. Sorry  probably should keep schtum at this point 

Finger's X'd though. I hope I'm wrong, maybe others will voice their experience and opinions too, to the contrary.

x.

[Mama_Mia]

I agree with Vicki that a 15 hr day is too long and a scary thought. M is superb when dealing with OT, I mean he never even acts OT but I wouldn't stretch his day any longer than 14 hours. And the few times he did have a 14 hour day he had more nw's. He just wasnt able to settle very well. Personally I would try for a 14 hour day and see what time he wakes tomorrow. He may wake just a bit later making it so you can push BT a little later tomorrow night. I fear that if you rush it too fast he will get extremely OT and then it will be harder to get him regulated. But if you decided to stick with your plan I wish you all the luck.

[Aishi]

Thanks ladies I will bow down to your wisdom and go for a 7 pm BT...I know I'm being hasty I'm just soo over 5am wakings but dd is waking then too (she goes back to sleep) so I guess ill be up anyway!

Thank you for the unwavering support tho xx

[Truly Blessed]

Good Luck Aishi! x.

[cath~]

Hi all - just been catching up over the last few days' posts..  Things move quickly here!

Vicki - good luck with the GW.  Sounds like you're off to a great start and it def sounds like he's ready for it (he fell asleep without you) which should help a lot.  I think the stars sound lovely.  A few times when I have put L down a bit UT and she has protested I have said "It's ok, if you're not tired you can chat to your animals or sing for a bit until you're ready to sleep" and that has worked.  However, it seems to have stopped working recently though 

Mama_C  - L is the same in that if I try to wind her down in any way, she just fights it and winds herself up!  I have never in her life been able to rock her to sleep - she just wriggles and kicks etc.  Best is to leave her to it

Well, it seems L is no longer having cot naps for me or DH.  She just isn't tired enough after lunch any more (and no point doing a later nap because to her, that isn't "nap time" and she would be sooo mad if we tried).  Fortunately she still naps in the car for us though and she still (for now) naps for her nanny Mon-Thurs too. 

We've had some horrific BTs recently though.  UT+teething is not a good BT combo here!

L woke up at 8.15 am on Saturday though (after 12 hr STTN) so after that WU (and a horrible UT BT the evening before) we decided to make Saturday was our first ever planned no nap day.  Put her to bed at 7pm (usual BT), so a 10hr45 day, and she fell asleep beautifully (pretty much ) and STTN until 7.45am on Sunday (so nearly a 13 hour night!).  So we did another NN day on Sunday and BT at 6.30pm, when she went straight to sleep again.  She was up at 6.45 am this morning - woken by the shower.  So she had 20 min nap for her nanny and then I did BT at 7pm, which went OK (compared to recent BTs).

I really hope she keeps napping for her nanny though for a while cos she won't cope Mon-Thurs without a nap since she won't/can't sleep in (shower wakes her up) on those days and can't do EBT (not back from work in time).

Fri-Sun though we are either going to offer quiet time (provide WU wasn't too early) and do EBT or, if she really needs a nap or if we are out anyway (which we often are on the weekend) do a short car nap (20 mins max).

That is the current plan at least!  The last 3 BTs have def been better for it

I have a qn though - does anyone have any tips on how to encourage independent quiet time (pref. in cot)?  Saturday's was not a huge success.  Lasted about 15 mins and I was back in about 5 times   She was OK for a few mins with her books but then not interested in it any more.

Behaviourly she is going through a testing patch at the moment though and trying to assert herself about EVERYTHING.  So that doesn't help I suppose.

[Aishi]

Hmm so I tried for a 7pm BT...I left by 6.35 as it takes about 20 min for him to ss when not UT/OT. Fell asleep by 7.15 (40 min ss). I'm trying not to read too much into it But I think he was UT cos he was just chatting to himself it's these long a times that made me think he's ready to drop nap...oh well I will try w2s at 4 and see what happens. Fx'd

Hope u all have a good night xx