Extended Nursing Support Thread Part 5

[amayzie]

yeah- we had to stop the night feeds- he managed to pick them up a couple of times, often after an illness- but always one feed would turn into 2, and then hw wouldn't settle after- so we had to dra the line. As ali said- he didn't need it at all- i would offer water in a cup in case he was thirsty, but that was it.

[momma.bear]

DS is almost 14 months. We are still nursing at least 3 times/day. I never imagined I'd still be feeding him at this age, but he loves it and I like most of it The part I don't like is that it's been a prop. I feed him before BT, and then if he absolutely won't settle at night, I feed him and he will go back to sleep (not during the feeding though). Then he's habitually waking up around 5/5:30, so that's become his morning feed, and if he hasn't had a night feeding prior to that, he will take another feeding (the other side) around 6am. He habitually wakes up at this time as well, but if he's had two night feedings already, he won't take another, and I'll just lay him down in his crib and give him his paci and he sleeps for another 45 mins.
I don't want to be nursing him for forever, but it is SUPER handy to calm him down during NWings. Anyone else been here? Optimally I'd like to bring him to just a BT feed and a morning wake up feed, but this boy knows what he wants and I'm just worried that this 5am feeding will continue until I stop nursing. But I don't want that to be my reason to stop nursing!

[*Ali*]

We weaned the last NF with my two at 12.5mo and 15mo respectively.  I just told them all they would be getting at night from now on is water as mummy's boobies were sleeping.  Then we just resettled without feeding for several nights until they stopped waking and asking for it.  We were still doing 3 or 4 bfs a day then and I feed them both until 26mo so it certainly wasn't the end for our nursing relationship. Might something similar work for you?

[momma.bear]

I want the freedom to be able to leave O with my mom during the day, so I'm trying to only feed him morning and night. I have been nursing him after his pm nap on occasion if it's a short nap, as that seems to help him calm and go back to sleep. My son doesn't say many words, and I'm not sure he would understand if I told him he wasn't getting any more of my milk after bed time. How did you resettle without feeding? I've done this countless times, but then he seems to start teething (I'm assuming he's teething right now) and then wake ups increase and I give in again...

[amayzie]

We did morning and night for ages- it worked really well. We would resettle by using the 'DO ANYTHING BUT FEED' approach- so DH or I would rock him, hold him, pat him- everything- the only thing we couldn't do was feed him! Basically the BF at night is the hardest thing to break- and they don't really bother waking up if they aren't getting it. He really shouldn't need it after 1- but just make sure you are ready to drop it and do the hard yards- you don't want to go through all of the tears and such only to start it up again! I mean that in a very non-judgemental way too- in that i'm a really massive fan of 'if it's not a problem for you then it's not a probem'- so if it's more of an issue for you to ditch the night feeds than to keep them, then keep them! The time wil come when you decide that it's time to make a change- or your LO will ease out of the feeds himself!

[Solene]

We didn't quit the night feeds until he was 2 years old. Or, actually, like a week before. And it was me, one night when he nursed I just suddenly had a very strong feeling of "I can't and won't do this anymore!", so strong that I hardly got through that feed. And I knew that was the last time, no way I was ever doing it again.
It really surprised me how sudden and strong it was. But I was just done. And the next day I told him that there would be no more night time nursing, when he got his bed time one, that was it until morning. He was free to nurse as much as he wanted during the day and such, but no more nights.
He seemed perfectly ok with that. And I reminded him again at the bed time feeding.
He woke up that night of course, but I just picked him up and held him close, rocked him, walked around, cuddled and so on. He was upset for a while, but went back to sleep after a couple of hours. (He didn't cry that whole time, but he wasn't happy either.)
And that was really the only hard night. I think he just understood that I meant it. But he was 2, so, easier to talk to.
He did have a few more nights when he woke up and asked to nurse, but when I told him it was night time and he had to sleep, he went back to sleep again without a fuss.

I think we're down to only bed time feeding now. My little guy will be 3 years old at the start of february. I'm so unsure if I want to stop then or not. Some (most) nights I love the nursing time, but other times something is up with his latch and it's uncomfortable (even a little painful) and I can't get it right, and then I think I'm very done when he's 3. And when he's done I have teeth marks so that's probably why it wasn't good, but I dunno how to fix it.
Has anyone else experienced that? Even if I unlatch him and get him to latch again, it doesn't get better. And I don't know why it's just sometimes, and not others.

[anna*]

How did you resettle without feeding?

I just stayed with her until she settled, but didn't feed her. It only took a couple of nights.

[*Ali*]

My DH resettled my DS1 just doing Put Down and WIWO. He would settle him in between with a shush and a back rub. I settled DS2 just sitting by the cot and whispering our sleepy phase. I put him down or just patted the mattress when he stood up.  I may have rubbed his back for a bit too. They were independent sleepers for naps and BT which really helped.

[Solene]

I sometimes, lately more often, think it's uncomfortable or even a little painful to feed my almost 3 year old at bed time. And I see I have pretty clear teeth marks on my boob after. Anybody else experienced this? I don't know how to fix it! Or even if I can. Unlatching and latching again doesn't work, trying to fix his latch doesn't work. A few times it helps a tad if I support the boob as he's eating.
Is he loosing his latch?

[Khalam's Mama]

I was finding that by 2 yo with ds1 as he had all teeth by then. I weaned shortly after so not sure what you can do. I found each time he got a new tooth it took a few days to adjust the latch. Has he recently got his molars?

[Solene]

Nope, it's been a while now. However, he is getting a new one right now, it hasn't poked through yet though, and isn't bothering him. I can't feel it, just see it.
Maybe I'll see if it changes again when it pokes through. I'm afraid I can't keep going if this is gonna happen a lot, every now and then is ok though.

[becj86]

I show L the marks and he knows it hurts me, so when I say its hurting, he stops and will feed from the other side/stop altogether and always remembers to ask after the welfare of my breast(s) the next morning

[Solene]

Becj86, that is sweet!
It's been ok here for the last few nights, but I'm gonna show him the marks next time, I don't know why that never hit me.

[weaver]

Having great success now with telling LO2 that 'milk is gone to sleep' (or nilk as she says).  I think I need to thank Ali for that!  Thanks!

[*Ali*]

Glad to hear that