Extended Nursing Support Thread Part 5

[Vio]

Uh oh...
Just tried to feed him the bedtime BF... When I offered my breast he shook his head away. We spent quite a while DS crying and me trying to figure out whether he wasn't hungry, just didn't want my breast... I was desperate so I offered a bottle, and he happily drunk all of it!!
Do you think this the beginning of the end???
He is teething.. But it's been 6 days of biting now...

[amayzie]

hmm- weird! It could be.. is he teething? it could be a bit of a phase with that? by all means if you are thinking you'd be happy to wean then go right ahead- you've managed to breast feed for a HUGE amount of time! what a great start you've given your little guy!!

[Vio]

I was in a bit of a dilemma because on the one hand I would like to Bf longer, but on the other hand I would like to recover my fertility so that I can try to get pregnant in a few months...
So if I was sure that DS really wants to wean I wouldn't mind it that much...
But I hate to think it might be another issue that I am not handling right...
Thanks a lot for your support!!

[becj86]

It could be the teeth, L always felt like he was biting when he was teething... Through the whole feed too. You have given him a great start! When L was teething, he would want to feed more often, but some kids do find it hurts with the sucking while they're teething. Hope you find your way. Maybe go with don't offer don't refuse - what do you think of that? He may well ask when he realises it's not being offered any more and you may find you stumble onto a new normal for feeding times for the two of you or you may find he is truly finished.

[amayzie]

hmm- i'm thinking i might have to stop the breast feeding. My family and friends have now started out right saying they think it's weird and strange!! I'm actuallyhaving to lie and try to hide the feeds from my DH!! (hard to do). Hamish actually said to one of my friends as she was holding him 'is there any milk in there' as he pressed the top of her boobs then later on when she told me that story her and my other friend laughed about it and said 'wow- how does he even remember that!' so i ended up 'coming out' as an extended breastfeeder!! They were HORRIFIED!! (our friend group laughs a lot and rips each other off- so it wasn't all serious and such)... so not totally sure about how to go about it as i currently use the DODR approach... fail...

[*Ali*]

Katy. I don't think you should let the ignorance of others force you to stop bfing. It is such a shame that so many people in our society have such a  narrow minded view of when a baby should stop BFing. Hugs.

Do you really want to stop?  If so can your dh distract him and do bt and get him up in the morning?

[becj86]

I explained it (when asked outright) as 'the path of least resistance'. Other than that, I just got on with it as it's what my child needed IMO. My DH was trying to get me to wean L forcefully for over 1.5yrs before we stopped and we eventually stopped when I had that pain. L would ask if my boobs were feeling ok and I'd say he could try but I'd tell him if they were sore. He eventually started 'kissing them better' before latching and then progressed to hugging them. It's been a much easier wean than I even thought it would be and it was at least partly out of concern for my pain that he stopped.

You're doing a good thing for him, Katy. If you want to stop, sure, get DH to do BT... If not, carry on as normal and just ignore them.

I had someone ask the other day if I was still BFing L as if it were the most normal thing in the world when she knew he is 2.5 and I said he'd weaned recently. First person I'd found IRL who was accepting.

[momma.bear]

I'm in a similar situation. Nobody SAYS it's weird but I know in the past I've been one of those moms who said anything over 1 year isn't right. Yeah, whoops! Anyways, here I am 15.5 months in. DS is feeding before bed time and then one night feeding. I want to stop just because I hate the night feeding. It's anywhere from 2am to 5am. Right now he's cutting molars so it varies. But he will fight so hard for that morning feed. I've told DH that he needs to be the one resettling DS in order for me to stop. We'll see how soon that happens!!

[*Ali*]

Momma bear you can always stop the night feeds and keep the BT feed if you wnt to. I weaned my two off the NF at 12 and 15mo and kept the day feeds.

[amayzie]

Thanks ladies- it's just the morning feed that we do.. and what do you know- this morning he didn't ask for it!! just layed with me and had a lovely long snuggle and then watched some shows on the computer!! (it's the holidays-- DH and i try to extend the lie in as long as we can!!). I guess with if i WANT to wean it's funny- i personally don't really care either way! If he stopped then that's all good- if he doesn't at this point then also all good! If i cared about it i would have stopped by now! I'll see how we go- i think once we are back at work (next week) it will be easier as i can just get up and have a shower- when i want a lie in it's hard!!

[Solene]

If I want to wean my little one when he turns 3, how would you do it? Prepare time? Cut down, or cold turkey? He only nurses at bedtime now. And just for 10 min. (I stop him then.)
What would you say?
I'm not decided yet, but I might want to.

[*Ali*]

Would he understand if you told him your body won't be making more milk after his birthday?
Or can you offer him an alternative like an extra story or hot chocolate?

[amayzie]

yeah- i thought that after 3 I could just explain. I was thinking though about trying to wean BEFORE his birthday- or even after- the thought of 'happy birthday- now NO MORE FEEDS' seemed a bit rude

[Solene]

Haha, yeah, I was not thinking on his birthday. It's early feb. so probably after. Well I think he would understand, accept however? Whole different story, hah. I am thinking about quitting because it often hurts now. And honestly, even though he loves it, I feel kinda ready to be done. I know I'll probably feel a little sad in a way because that part of our relationship ends, it's been there since he was born. But I think I'll be more ok with it!

[amayzie]

See- i'm beginning to think that i am going to have to make the decision on it- as he's clearly not going to! I think i'll probably be partially a bit 'oh my baby' but at the same time i'm lucky in that he's a snuggly little boy anyway- so i'll still get my cuddles...