28 month old sleep issues

[Jsands1984]

My son turned 2 in November (28 months) and I am expecting #2 at the end of April. We had some bedtime issues about a month and a half ago, and thought we fixed them. Now we are having issues with naptime.

His schedule is normally (on a good day):

7:30 - put down for bed, songs, asleep by 8
Wake up between 6 and 7 (usually closer to 6)
12:30 - put down for nap, songs, asleep by 1
2:30 - wake up from nap

Tuesday is when the nap issues started. I put him down at 12:30 like normal, sing his songs and leave the room. He opens the door about 5 minutes later and I put him back to bed. Then between 1 and 1:15 he opens the door again because he has pooped. (He normally never poops during naptime.) He finally falls asleep by 1:30 and I wake him at 3. If he sleeps past 3 we usually have trouble getting him to bed on time. Thursday and today he did not nap at all. After changing his dirty diaper he got out of bed, but did not open his door. After repeated attempts to get him to stay in bed and nap we gave up and he played in his room until the normal end of naptime at 2:30.

We had things to do after naptime today and he fell asleep after about 5 minutes in the car. We were late getting home so our plan to put him down early fell through, but we did have lights out by 7:15 instead of 7:30.

I don't know what is causing him to fight naps all of a sudden. Him pooping during naptime makes me wonder if he is teething or going to start teething soon because he has more dirty diapers when he teethes. We have tried Tylenol and teething rings. I don't know if it's my pregnancy affecting him since we have been telling him his baby brother will be here soon. I also wonder if he is trying to drop his nap all together.

[Lolly]

There is a sleep regression around 2 - my DD went through it for a couple of weeks and then went back to her normal routine for a couple of months before she dropped her nap totally.

I would try and stick to the routine as much as possible - maybe try the nap later than 12.30 given he is taking longer to go to sleep. If you get nap refusals try doing bedtime much earlier, so 6.30 or 6 if you can.

Teeth could weel be part of it - the 2yr molars are a mare!

Laura

[Jsands1984]

I never thought about sleep regression. Is there somewhere I can find a list of what ages they occur? Thay always catch us off guard.

I'm not sure a later nap will work. Today I put him down at 12:30, he pooped at 1:15, and even after I changed him kept getting out of bed. I finally got him to sleep at 2 by laying in his toddler bed with him (real fun for me since I'm 31 weeks pregnant). I don't want to create a habit of doing this, but today he got up at 5:40am so I was desperate for a nap. I let him nap until 3:15 and I think that threw off his schedule because it took him longer than normal to fall asleep tonight.

[Jsands1984]

I will be so glad when this phase has passed. Yesterday morning we were late getting home from running errands and he fell asleep in the car for 5 minutes. This tiny cat nap apparently threw off everything. We got home at noon, had a quick lunch, and I put him down at 12:45ish. He did not fall asleep until 1:40 so I let him sleep until 3. I guess that threw off bedtime because we put him down at 7:30 like usual and he didn't fall asleep until almost 8:30, and he was up at 5:30 this morning.

I don't know what else we can do. The funny thing is a week and a half ago he stayed the night at my in-laws and they said he slept from about 8-8. Of course they also never stick to his nap time. They spend the whole afternoon running errands so the only nap he gets is brief ones in the car.

[Jsands1984]

Tried something different for nap today. I put him down at 12:30, sang songs like usual, and then laid in bed with him until he fell asleep. He was out by 12:45! I don't know if this is partially to do with him getting up at 5:30 this morning, but it worked.

[Jsands1984]

I was reading another woman's post about GW and her son sounds similar to mine so I thought we might give it a try.

We turned out lights at 7:30 and sang our bedtime songs. DH left by 7:40 and I sat by the bed. I told him it was time to go to sleep and closed my eyes in hopes he would ignore me. He tried talking to me and tapping my arm and leg, but I sat with my eyes closed and ignored him. The only time I acknowledged him was when he tried to get out of bed. Then I would gently lay him back down and cover him up with no talking. About 35 minutes in he had a dirty diaper so I had to get him out of bed and change him, still no talking.

I think he started to think it was a game because he started throwing his blankets on me to try and get a reaction and would stick his leg straight in the air when I tried to cover him up after laying him back down. Every time I thought he was close to settling and going to sleep he would pop back up and mess around on his bed or try and get out. I finally gave up after an hour because 1. I am 32 weeks pregnant and sitting on the floor was giving me a backache and a few braxton hicks and 2. my patience was starting to wear thin. I left the room and a couple of minutes later he was opening his door. I lost my temper and gave him a swat on the bottom (I normally try not to spank) and sent him back to bed. A few minutes later I went back in an apologized for spanking, laid him in bed gently, and covered him up. That was at 8:50 and he has been asleep since.

I don't know if 1hr 10min is normal for a first night try of GW? Maybe me being in there was too stimulating for him?  Either way I probably should have held off until Sunday to start because tomorrow we have to go to a family dinner at my mom's an hour away and will not be home til past his bedtime.

[*Ali*]

Hi, I popped over from the other thread where we were discussing GW

I don't think the time it took him to fall asleep for the first night of GW was at all bad. I'm sure it will get much shorter once he realises that you will see it through to the end and he is asleep. He was probably just testing the boundaries and will very soon stop getting out of bed at all. Once that happens you can start moving towards the door.

I found it really important to stay calm as you mentioned. If I even got annoyed and put him back in bed quickly or a little too roughly (apart from really not being very nice on my part) it only riled him up and quite rightly made him feel angry which is obviously not conducive to sleep. So being very slow, matter-of-fact and calm was key.

Maybe try taking a chair or beanbag in to sit on if you can't get comfortable on the floor. But know it won't always take so long. A few days of consistency should show a big change. Think of it as short term pain for long term gain    

I would also consider pushing his nap later but capping it. So maybe put him down 15mins later but cap the nap by 15 mins so he is still waking at the same time. We didn't get much more than a 10hr night if my DS1 had a 1.5hr nap at this age and he was always high sleep needs (e.g. he did a 3hr nap and 12hr night when he moved to one nap). We actually got a lot more sleep overall when we capped the nap. When it got to 30 mins his night's stretched to 12hrs and when we cut it completely he started sleeping 13-13.5hrs overnight. I'm not suggesting you drop the nap now or even cut it so drastically (we were forced to as he stopped sleeping at home when he moved to a BBB and after spending 1-3hrs sitting with him trying to get him to nap every day for a week with an 8mo to look after too I have to admit I gave up) but just 15-30 mins less may help for a while.

What do you think?

[Jsands1984]

Up until a month ago we were letting him nap 2 hrs but cut it down to 1.5. Since he was about 18 months I have put him down about 30 min before I want him asleep because that is usually how long it takes him to settle. So right now he gets put down at 12:30 in hopes tat he'll be asleep by 1 and then wake him at 2:30.

Should we let him nap 1.5 hr no matter what time he falls asleep? For instance, I put him down at 12:30, sat with him about 15 minutes until he asked me to leave, and then went back in at 1:15 when he came and got me because he had a dirty diaper. So it was almost 1:30 by the time he fell asleep. Would you still wake him at 2:30 so his afternoon wake time is the same as usual or let him go to 3 so he still gets 1.5 hrs of sleep?

[*Ali*]

I would definitely have a time in mind by which I wanted him up. If my DS1 especially slept too late in the day it really pushed is BT late and then he would still wake early the next day and lose night sleep. So in that instance I would still wake him at 2.30 yes. If he went down much later than usual I might split the difference and a let him have an extra 15 mins if he went down half an hour later for example.

If you chose to take my suggestion above though I meant let him sleep from 1.15-2.30 so he is getting 15 mins less sleep but still up at the same time. That should make him more tired at BT.

[Jsands1984]

We tried GW for a few nights, but I was getting frustrated because I felt like he thought it was a game. The least amount of time it took for him to fall asleep was 50 minutes. He would spend the first 20-30 minutes getting out of bed then running back and giggling when I would move to put him back. The 2nd half was spent with him laying at the foot of his bed then pretending to fall out of bed and be "asleep" on the floor. Also about 30 minutes in he would start asking me to leave but I stood my ground and didn't acknowledge him, even when he started throwing his blankets and pillow on top of me.

A few nights ago I wasn't feeling that great and my back was killing me so I didn't sit with him. I know, inconsistent on my part. However, that night he got out of bed and rattled the door but never opened it, and was asleep in 30-45 minutes. So we decided to try this again to see if he would continue to fall asleep faster than when I was sitting with him. It worked for 3 nights. Now when we leave he will play with the door a bit and when he realizes we are not giving him attention he will either turn on his light and play or open the door.

I feel so confused because naptime is going fairly well. I put him down at 12:45 (15 minutes later as suggested) and unless he poops he will usually go to sleep with no problem. Then we get to bedtime and he is doing all of the above or asking me to sit with him. If I do go in and sit with him when he asks then the games start over again.

I know that DH and I need to sit down and come up with a plan of action and stick to it. I wonder if he is acting out partially because he senses the change coming with his baby brother due in about 7 weeks because he is also acting out in other areas all of a sudden. At least now that the weather is getting nice I will be able to get outside with him and let him run around more after nap and before dinner.

[*Ali*]

If you choose to do the GW again I would sit next to the bed so he doesn't get a chance to get out and run back. He would be within arm's reach of you and not get that far. Also, can you sit at the end of the bed he is pretending to fall out?

I'm not sure how verbal he is but have you tried having a conversation with him about what would help him go to sleep without all the messing around? Does he prefer you to sit there but on the agreement that he doesn't keep messing around and if he does you will wait outside for example?

Is he tired by BT do you think? Have you cut his nap to 1hr15 now? Perhaps he needs another 15 mins taken off it to be tired enough at BT?

[Jsands1984]

I do sit next to the bed, but with my belly and hip pain I can't always move fast enough to get him as soon as his feet hit the floor. I will try and sit at the foot of the bed next time. What do you think about the fact that he will take a nap just fine without us, but not go to sleep at bedtime?

I asked him tonight what he needed to fall asleep and he said "Daddy stay" so DH is sitting with him tonight. We've told him it's not play time, he's not supposed to talk to DH or get out of bed. I've tried telling him he just needs to lay there with his stuffed animal and go to sleep.

He is always rubbing his eyes after bath and acting tired, but as soon as we turn the lights out and put him in bed he gets wound up. We try to keep things as calm and quiet as possible. He does have a 2 year molar that has been taking it's sweet time coming in, but I don't know how much of that is a factor.

Today he didn't nap. I think it was because of Daylight Savings time. We gave up trying to get him to stay in bed at 2. After that we went to run errands. He fell asleep for maybe 5 minutes on the way to the first stop. Then he fell asleep again on the way home at 6:30. We tried just putting him in bed for the night but he woke up as soon as we got in his room and is wound up again.

I'm not sure DH has the patience for GW. He just came out of DS's room as I was typing and was frustrated because he was having to put DS back in bed "every 3 seconds".

[*Ali*]

He's probably not as tired at BT after the nap. That is why I was wondering about his nap length.

Do you read stories after the bath? What about doing them in bed so his body has a chance to relax in the bed before you leave?

You do need a lot of patience for GW but it will only work if you see it through. Otherwise he learns to resist and you will leave him to it or change it up. When we did it it took over an hour of constantly returning him to bed. It was a similar length of time the next few nights but once he realised that was all that happened until he went to sleep he lost all interest in playing up. It helped to expect the long, tedious battles so I was prepared and didn't feel so disheartened.

Does he have a side rail on his bed. we have one to stop him rolling out but it was also handy because it meant he only had a gap of about a foot at the end of the bed from which he could get out easily.

[Jsands1984]

Sunday night I ended up switching spots with DH at 8. He played around and I had to put him back 3 or 4 times. He was asleep by 8:40 and slept until 7:15.

Yesterday at nap we read books with him lying in bed. We said night-night at 12:45 and I sat with my back toward his bed at the foot of it. He was asleep by 1 so we woke him after an hour to see if he would be more tired at BT.

At BT we did stories in bed, songs, and prayers. Then DH left at 7:36 and he was asleep at 8:56. I had to break silence a couple of times when he tried kicking me and pulling my hair to get my attention. I must have put him back in bed 20-30 times. He slept until 6:45 this morning.

I just put him down for a nap and it was the same as yesterday. I will wake him at 2.

Here is what his bed looks like: http://www.walmart.com/ip/Baby-Relax-Toddler-Bed-Cherry/13008309. I sit with my back to him at the foot of the bed to try and deter him from getting out.

He asks me to leave whenever we say night-night, but I have done that before and he is at the door 5 or 10 minutes later asking me to come back.

I guess we will stick with GW and hope it works.

[*Ali*]

Yes, I would stick with it. it will get better. I felt like it never would with my DS1 but itdid very quickly and then it was just a case of sitting with him until he fell asleep (no fight) and moving away. You're doing really well.