Constant night wakings - 6 months old

[alemattos]

I need help! I don't know how to fix this!

DS just turned 6 months old on May 23rd. He was a good sleeper until he became 4 months old and he started waking up at night almost every hour. This is when we started the 4-hour EASY and things got a little better, but never perfect. Once he slept from 8 till 5:30, and another night until 4:30. This was the best we got.

I've been doing PUPD to put him down at night and for naps and wake-to-sleep to extend his naps, since he was never a good napper. His naps were always 45min long. Now I can get 1:15-1:25, but sometimes I just get 30-45min. He now goes down pretty quickly (both for naps and at night) and we saw him waking up from a nap after 30 min and going back to sleep by himself, so I know he learned how to self soothe.

We also have been trying to make him wake up at 7am, which is almost impossible. He is up at 6 everyday, but since he goes down around 8pm, and have so many night wakings, I feel like he doesn't have enough sleep.

As I said our nights were never near perfect, and actually, after being up every hour, I was happy waking up 2-3 times a night, but I am getting tired again of all the night wakings. We can easily put him back to sleep when he wakes up at night just replacing a pacifier, putting him on his side, and patting o his back, but we are exhausted. He sleeps in his crib, and unswaddled. Also, I am EBF, and starting to introduce solids.

This is what his schedule looks like:
6:00 - wake up and we try to put him down for another hour. We do PUPD, or anything we can for him to sleep longer, but he rarely does.
7:00 - eat (wake up and feed and he sleeps a little more)
7:30 - activity
8:45-9:15/10 - sleep (Rarely I can keep him until 9, cause most of the times he is awake since 6)
10:00 - wakes up from nap and we just cuddle, do a low profile activity to wait for his feed. I give him a taste of solid food, but he is still not being able to eat a lot. He is just experimenting one thing at a time.
11:00 - eat
11:30 - activity
1:00-1:45/2:15 - sleep
2:15 - wakes up from nap and we just cuddle, do a low profile activity to wait for his feed.
3:00 - eat
3:30 - activity
5:00 - catnap
5:45 - activity
6:45 - bath
7:00 - eat
7:45-8 - sleep
10:30/11 - Dreamfeed

Then he wakes up at night around, 1:30, 2:30, 4, and 6, on average. He also wakes up before his dreamfeed, around 9:30.

Please, help!

[PaulsMom]

Hi there! 

Hugs.  It's so hard when they are sleeping poorly.  The one thing I've noticed about your routine is that his A times are very long for his age.  Most 6 month olds are doing 2 hr to 2.25 hrs whereas you are doing closer to 3 hrs.  I would back off on the A times so that he's up for a total of 2 hrs to 2.25 hrs and see how he does.  Also around this age some babies start to drop the CN but they need do have longer naps so at the moment I'd focus on a shorter A and see if he naps better.  If he's less OT, you may find that he wakes less often at night too. 

Also, I notice that you are re-plugging his paci at night. Do you think that the paci is a prop?  If so, then you may want to consider teaching him to re-plug himself or getting rid of it altogether.  My DS was a paci addict and didn't sleep well until we weaned him.  Other moms will have their Los re plug themselves and then it's not a problem. 

HTH

[alemattos]

Thank you!!!
I am going to try having less A time, but the problem is that I can't make him nap longer and he is waking up really early in the morning.

Would this be a good schedule?
6:00 - wake up an feed
6:30 - activity
8:30 - sleep (hopefully until 10-10:30)
10-10:30 - feed (what of he wakes up too early from his nap? Should I do everything earlier?)
11:00 - activity
12:30 - sleep (until 2-2:30)
2:30 - feed
3:00 - activity
4:30 - catnap??? (Until 5-5:15)
Then should I keep his bedtime the same, or make it earlier?

I will start something like this tomorrow. If you have any other comment, I would lie to hear.

Thanks again, and I'll keep you posted on how things went.

[alemattos]

About the paci...

I think the paci could be a prop, but sometimes he doesn't want it. I think the side lying position could be the problem actually. Sometimes he will turn himself, but other times he just doesn't.

[PaulsMom]

yes, that routine looks good.  If he wakes early, try to extend the nap but if he doesn't go back to sleep, then give him a bit of A time before BF so that the milk feeds are still more or less 3.5 to 4 hrs apart.  With short napping your EASY may end up looking more like EASAEAS, etc.   

I would aim for a BT of around 7 pm if you can manage it. For the time being keep the CN but keep in mind that likely he will drop it in 3-5 weeks time.  The key here will be to get him napping better.

WRT the paci, you can keep it.  If it's he's rolling around and waking because he ends up in a funny position, then I would recommend giving him lots of floor time during the day so he has time to practice.  With time, he'll grow out of this but unfortunately you just have to ride this out. 

The other thing is if your little guy is very active, I would recommend giving him lots of opportunity for physical activity during the first 1/2 to 2/3s of his A time then let him have some more low key activities as it gets closer to nap time.  I always found that my DS sleep better once he was physically tired but I had to be careful not to get him OS prior to the nap so I'd do low key stuff, like looking out the window, reading stories, etc.

Good luck and let me know how he does tomorrow.

[katie80]

Hi there, you're getting great advice from PaulsMom already. Just wanted to pop on and ask a little bit about how you're doing PUPD. PUPD and the paci don't mix unless LO is able to replug himself.  It does sound like the paci and being put on his side could be props in the middle of the night. If you want to keep the paci, I'd start working on having him do the replugging and then settling him in whatever position you find him in (back, tummy, side). He may not like it the first few times, but he will either learn to sleep in a new position or will figure out how to get to his side. Like PaulsMom said, lots of practice during the day will help this.

As for the routine, I think it looks good. I'd probably try to move that second nap to 1pm though, if you get a good morning nap. OT isn't fun, but you don't want a UT fight either.

[alemattos]

Thank you, Paulsmom! I will try that schedule ttomorrow!

Hi katie80,

About PUPD and paci:

I actually don't have to do PUPD anymore. I did it to teach him how to sleep without me rocking him. Now, we just have a consistent nap and bedtime routine where I put some classical piano and we dance for 5 min until he is in sleep mode, but not sleeping, and I lay him down with his lovey and paci.

We used his paci to help him fall back asleep quicker after night wakings, but tonight we will try to just shush/pat him.

Thank you for your help too!

[katie80]

Sounds good... keep us posted.

[alemattos]

i haven been waiting to have good news before coming back here, but I am afraid I don't have them yet.

Some questions/things I noticed:
1: sometimes for naps we need to rock him to sleep because he doesn't wake up crying or anything. He is just there and he starts playing with his lovey. If I don't take action he won't sleep. I usually wait a little bit to see if he will fall back asleep. Rarely he does, and when he doesn't, if I wait too long, I am not able to get him back sleeping
2: I don't know what to do if he wakes up too early, like this morning. Should I rock him back to sleep? Should we start our day (which would be horrible for me)?
3: We are not using paci at NW anymore and he's been doing fine.
4: Should I try extending A to cut the catnap?

Any thoughts you have would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

This is what happened the past 4 nights (and days):

May 26
E 6:23 WU and feed
A
S 8:28 (1:30)
E 10:25
A
S 12:30 (40 min + 50 min - I had to rock him back to sleep, or he wouldn't sleep anymore)
E 2:27
A
E 6:28
S 7:11 (NW: 7:40, 9:40, 10:40 then I fed him, and 1:30 but he had a leakage)

May 27
E 6:00 WU and feed
A
S 8:06 (1:12)
E10:09
A
S 12:20 (48 min + 55 min - again had to rock him back to sleep)
E 2:25
A
S 4:25 (32 min)
E 6:30
A
S 7:49 (NW: 1:15 and 3:15 with leakage - we bought all different brands and types of diapers to fix this, and now we think we did)

May 28
E 6:38 WU and feed
A
S 8:52 (1:47 - had to rock him to sleep after 47 min)
E 10:53
A
S 1:08 (1:15)
E 2:49
A
E 6:34
S 6:56 ( NW: 9:15, 10 then I fed him, 12:50 and difficult to resettle at 2;20, 3:20 then difficult to resettle at 4)
This night I am sure he was over tired. He wouldn't settle for his 5pm catnap, and was super agitated. He fell asleep breastfeeding after his bath which is very unusual.

May 29
E 7:00 WU and feed
A
S 9:21 (1:29)
E 11:07
A
S 1:06 (39 min + 46 min - had to rock him back to sleep)
E 3:12
A
S 5:17 (31min)
E 7:04
A
S 8:04 (NW: 10, 11 then I fed him, 2 and 5. Hard to put him back to sleep at 5. He woke up playful and talkative. He slept until 6:20 (30 more min) after my husband rocked him.

Thank you once again!

[alemattos]

He just woke up from his first morning nap at 38min. I waited longer to help him fall back asleep and now I can't make him sleep. I guess I am going to the NAPS forum to see if I can get help there too.

I just want to sit down and cry since I feel like a failure.

I've been trying so hard and can't see any progress.

[katie80]

1: sometimes for naps we need to rock him to sleep because he doesn't wake up crying or anything. He is just there and he starts playing with his lovey. If I don't take action he won't sleep. I usually wait a little bit to see if he will fall back asleep. Rarely he does, and when he doesn't, if I wait too long, I am not able to get him back sleeping
2: I don't know what to do if he wakes up too early, like this morning. Should I rock him back to sleep? Should we start our day (which would be horrible for me)?
3: We are not using paci at NW anymore and he's been doing fine.
4: Should I try extending A to cut the catnap?

I actually think all of these are related to not having enough A time during the day to get full naps.  He's not waking upset from the short naps and needs a prop to get back to sleep.  That says UT to me.  Pushing the A times and dropping the CN is what will help you get better naps and a more restorative night's sleep.

Looking through your EASY, I'd say he does best with about 2.5hr A first thing in the morning, probably 2.5-3hr A next (provided the first nap was a good one of 1.5-2hr), and then you might have to decide whether he can do 3-3.5hr til BT (may need to be EBT until you can push the As a bit more) or APOP a short CN of 15-20min to get to a decent BT.

Have a read through this link and let us know what you think (I think this is exactly where you're at)... All about the 3-2 transition- 5/6 months

[katie80]

I guess I am going to the NAPS forum to see if I can get help there too.

Oh also, it's best to post on only one sleep board so that all your advice can stay in one place.  We'd be happy to continue to work through your EASY here with you, but if you'd like to post on naps, we can lock this thread and link it to your new one.  Just let us know!

[alemattos]

Thanks, katie80. I just didn't want to start asking questions that were not related to the NW topic. I will try a new schedule tomorrow.

I was already reading about the 3-2 transition. I will go there and read some more since this is the route I am taking now.

I can't believe I found this forum and I have people I can talk to. Thank you sooooo much. I hope someday I can be helpful to other people.

[katie80]

I just didn't want to start asking questions that were not related to the NW topic.

No problem... it's all related, right?!?

I was already reading about the 3-2 transition. I will go there and read some more since this is the route I am taking now.

You might want to join here too: Anyone want to talk about the 3-2 Nap transition? Part 2.  Then, you can chat with other moms who are in the same spot as you now.

I hope someday I can be helpful to other people.

For sure you will be... we always love it when others pass it on!

[alemattos]

Hi Katie80!

I have a few questions.

1. We had two great days of napping and A times. I am confident he was not OT or UT (I'll post his schedule later), but we still had 2-4 NW. How much times does it usually take for us to start to seeing some progress on NW?

2. He is up right now (3:30) since 2:30 and is playful. How to handle that? He is not really fussing or crying and when he does, we quickly fix is by shush/pat, however he starts playing again.

3. We had to start doing PUPD again cause sometime it is hard to settle him for bedtime. (I reduced the amount of time I was dancing with him since I think it was a prop for him do fall asleep). My question is: after putting him down, can I shush/pat him until he is asleep or PUPD and shush/pat shouldn't be mixed?

4. He woke up last morning at 5 wanting to play. We were able to put him back to sleep by PUPDing and shush/pat, but it took us 1 hour, so at 6am, which is usually the time he wakes up, he was back sleeping. Then he only woke up 7:45. We didn't want to either wake up ourselves or wake him up. Was that the wrong strategy?

I am hanging in here! It is our 4th NW tonight and hoping this is the last one.

Thanks!