10 month old waking every 2-3-4hrs for milk ..

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hii..

I am having probs with my 10month old at night. He has never been an independent sleeper n has never slept through the night. He has 3 6oz milk feeds a day n 4oz milk in his cereal for breakfast plus yoghurt for snacks. He is well fed during the day n his naps r good. 2 naps 1.5hrs-2hrs. For eg yday he had 5oz milk at 6pm n then 6oz before bed at 8pm n then woke at 1am for milk n then 3.30am n then 6am. Sometimes he takes full feeds n sometimes half. When he wakes up at night he is grumpy n just cries n wont settle. His easy is as follows. .

E 6am
Wu 7.30
Breakfast 8
E 10am
S1030am

Solids 12pm
E 3pm
S 3.30-5

Solids 5pm
E 7 and 8
Bt 8

This is what his easy is like. He sumtimes has 3 feeds sometimes 4 depending on wu and nfs.

I would really like some help with getting him to sleep independently n not feeding at night

Thnxxx xxx

[Ima shel Alon]

Are you sure he is waking up to feed at night? It sounds to me like you are facing the beginning of the 2-1 transition and he is having too much day sleep (which can cause NW). I would start and work on that, you can read about it more here: From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)
and at the same time I would work on eliminating his NF by reducing 1oz of his bottle every three nights - this worked like a magic for us and many mommies here use the same method. DS was a very hungry baby and I thought I'll never wean him from his NF but we managed and I even thought that reducing the bottles will not work for us because he will notice but he didn't .
Good luck!

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hi.

I must admit he has been sleeping in our bed so we can all get some sleep and now he doesnt want to stay in his cot. What to do? I have started reducing bottles now n also capping his afternoon nap hoping it will give us some good results.

I would like for him to go back into his own cot n sleep n settle in there. Every time i put him down he will grab the rails n stand up.

Do I just leave him or lie him back down? Xx

[Ima shel Alon]

At this age I would think the best way to wean the co sleeping is with PU/PD and in your case, as he is pulling himself standing in the cot is just PD. That was actually the stage I found sleep training the easiest as there was no picking up anymore which was hard on my back and was too stimulating for DS.
But it's not a magic trick, it's going to take a few days of hard work to teach him to go to sleep in his cot. This is not what he is used to so there will be resistance straight away. But if you will be persistent with it then after a few days it should get much easier and he will learn that this is the new place he is sleeping at night.
Does that help?

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hi..

I have just put him to bed using pupd but not sure if I did it right.

I took him upstairs as he was tired and got him changed for bed and gave him his bottle. I rocked him slightly which he resisted but was also closing his eyes. I got him into the crib where I lied him down and said the sleepy phrase. He kept getting back up straight away but wasnt crying. I still said the sleepy phrase and lied him back down. He did this for 45minutes and even though for the first half he wasnt crying I still put him back down..is this right? Also when he started crying when I lied him back down I patted him slightly but when he began to fal asleep I was just singing? Is that ok too?
Dont want to go through this then create more props ?

Thanxx

[Ima shel Alon]

The way I did it is put down and leave the room so you give him the chance to settle alone. Once DS cried I went in and did PD with staying in the room. In the first few days I stayed in the room till he was lying down, quiet and seem to be sleeping. After a few days I worked on leaving the room when he was quiet.
But it's really a method that only works when your LO is crying, if he is not crying then you don't really need to be in the room, IMO.

[katie80]

Hi there, just popping on to give you some extra support. You've gotten great advice so far.

I agree that PD should really only be done when crying at this age, otherwise you will still be a prop.  Same with the singing.  You can pat him a bit and sing to help him calm, but really he should do the work of falling to sleep on his own at this age.  Since he's been sleeping with you, you may want to stay in the room with him even when he's not crying, but that is really up to you.  You can also move to having him lie down on his own, by patting the mattress and asking him to lie down and go to sleep.  The more work he does on his own, the quicker he will become a totally independent sleeper.

HTH, you will be so happy when he's sleeping all night in his crib!

[ismaeelsmummy]

Thanks so much for all your advice guys
I get confused whilst im doing all this as its like im helping him to much n yes I hv become a prop to him as he wakes just forme to put hhim down n pat him even if its just a few times and hes right back to sleep. He often wakes up just wanting to play I take a that I leave him to it until he cries. Should his cry b urgent for me to go to him or just whenever he cries.
Is it normal that even if hes really tired he will roll over n pull himself up? What do I do then. sorry for all the questions but I am finding this really hard as im so tired aswell.

[Ima shel Alon]

Should his cry b urgent for me to go to him or just whenever he cries.

If it's a mantra cry then it's better to leave him because he is trying to self settle: What’s a mantra cry?

Is it normal that even if hes really tired he will roll over n pull himself up? What do I do then.

Yes, it can happen. If he is not crying then you can leave the room and if he is crying that you PD.

[katie80]

Agreed!

I get confused whilst im doing all this as its like im helping him to much n yes I hv become a prop to him as he wakes just forme to put hhim down n pat him even if its just a few times and hes right back to sleep.

You might want to think about sitting next to his crib and patting the mattress for him to lie down himself. I became a prop as well, by always giving my DS a cuddle and then laying him down from about 8-10mo. I then had enough and sat on his floor for a few nights and had him lie down on his own (it took a long time the first couple times). But, after those few days, he was sleeping through on his own. It was tough, but worth it.

Keep us posted...

[ismaeelsmummy]

Thanks again guys .. does this mean I shouldn't sing to him or do anything to calm him down? I am trying but its really hard to see him cry like that.

I need some help with an issue that has been turning into a pattern over the past week. His first night waking is fine .. I feed him n hes right back to sleep. However the second night waking is like he wakes up to play n does not want to sleep n will be chatting n babbling amongst some crying. Last night I even fed him but he still wouldn't sleep!!
Also sometimes he will wake up crying n have his eyes closed? At this point do I try to settle or not?

Katie80 how long did it take for him to start lying down by himself?

He has now become accustomed to his cot again and isn't doing too bad.

Do you think he would do better in his own room? Hes still in with us! Has anyone got any experience with moving rooms making a difference?

Thanks x

[katie80]

does this mean I shouldn't sing to him or do anything to calm him down? I am trying but its really hard to see him cry like that.

(((Hugs))), I know it isn't easy.  You can of course sing/speak to him and still use your touch (rubbing his leg or bum) to help him calm (although touch can wind them up at this age too). The key is to gradually reduce that once he's calming so that he ends up doing the work of falling asleep by himself.

I need some help with an issue that has been turning into a pattern over the past week. His first night waking is fine .. I feed him n hes right back to sleep. However the second night waking is like he wakes up to play n does not want to sleep n will be chatting n babbling amongst some crying. Last night I even fed him but he still wouldn't sleep!!

This sounds like he's UT, which is supported by your EASY in your first post.  He's getting quite a bit of daytime sleep for his age and likely needs a cut to one of the naps.  Did you read through the link that Noa posted on starting the 2-1 nap switch?  We'd be happy to help you adjust your EAS to get it working better for you. 

Also sometimes he will wake up crying n have his eyes closed? At this point do I try to settle or not?

I would just stand back and see.  If it's a mantra type cry and he's still trying to sleep, I'd leave him. Even if it's an escalating mantra, but his eyes are still closed and he's trying to sleep, I'd stand back and wait. Intervene and try to help him settle when he's really doing an 'I need help here!' cry and is awake looking for you.

Katie80 how long did it take for him to start lying down by himself?

The first night, it took him about 2.5hr to finally lie down and stay down and go to sleep.  The second and third night it took about an hr. And, after that he didn't wake.

Do you think he would do better in his own room? Hes still in with us! Has anyone got any experience with moving rooms making a difference?

I don't have personal experience, but I do think it can make a difference at this age. Some of his wakings might be due to you and your DH moving and shuffling about and him stirring and waking.  I've seen a few LOs on here start sleeping more soundly once they are in their own rooms.

HTH!

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hii..

I have tried shortening his second nap and he ends up really tired and whingy all evening. But I`ll stick with it.

I am off work for a few wks but I am back at work nxt week and he will be at nursery so im sure his naps will b much shorter than they are now. What is the average a time and day sleep for this age?

Well I tried to get him to sit down lie down himself so I patted the mattress and he sat down and then thought I was playing an instrument lol n just was entertained by it lol.

I just put him to sleep successfully with the put down method and hopefully it is easier from here on and it works!! It has taken me an hour and I did really limit how much I assisted him to sleep..

Thanks so much x

[katie80]

I have tried shortening his second nap and he ends up really tired and whingy all evening. But I`ll stick with it.

Are you bringing BT back to compensate at all?

I'd say average A time for 10mo is 3.5-4hr, with day sleep around 2-2.5hr and night sleep 11-12hr. It really depends on the LO. Here are some links you can take a look at...

Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!
chronological EASY samples, 10-12 months

My DS was doing something like this at 10mo...
Wake 7am
Nap 1 10:30-12pm
Nap 2 3:30-4:30pm
BT 7:30/8pm

Keep working on PD. It should go better and better and as long as he's not needing you to fall all the way to sleep, shouldn't become a prop.

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hii.. just an update ..

Last night when he woke at 3.30am he was playing around but after 30mins of pd he went to sleep by himself and there was hardly no crying. But it went downhill after that he woke a few times just bursting out with a very upset cry and would not settle with out a feed??

Then he woke for the day at 7.45am. I went to put him down for a nap around 11 n hecwas hysterical n would not settle and was stood up in his cot crying - not for long though..he then was sick and wouldn't sleep at all n then finally slept at 12.30. He just woke mid nap n was again hysterical n wouldn't settle in his cot. I then pickef him up n when I walked towards the crib he would start crying again and then I had to wait until he was more asleep to put him down.
Is this typical behaviour of going through the process of sleep training?