Why is she doing this? I'm on the edge!!

[Shiv52]

Nesquik isn't dairy free from what I could find quickly on google so am a bit baffled at your HV suggesting it in the first place and more more baffled considering your LO has cmpa.

I wondered about reflux too?

[Hollie-Mae]

I'm hoping teething is the issue though this has been going on for weeks now. She has the first two teeth at the bottom clearly visible in the gum but they still haven't cut, she's really gumming everything and has started sucking her fingers all the time which she's never done before. I made some custard with milk as didn't want to give her anything too filling but also something I could use the most milk with and she loved it, so she isn't lacking in appetite and was clearly hungry. I guess it would make sense not to want to suck from a teat if you had sore gums!

So far she's only managed 5oz today, would only take 2oz at last feeding so we're worse than yesterday, though this doesn't count what she's had in solids as unfortunately custard has to be made with a pint of milk, so I can't measure how much she's getting in a small portion!

She was a refluxer before we changed her formula but the symptoms have gone now that she's dairy free. Prior to the dairy free formula she constantly had trapped wind, would scream constantly until the wind was up which could take hours, stomach cramping, writhing around with the pain, arching her back, constipation and lack of colour in her skin. We haven't had her tested as we've had a different baby since she's been on the new formula, though we are tempted as we've been told to stay away from soya too as it's common for cmpa babies to be allergic to soya too, which reduces her diet a fair bit! I had cmpa as a baby and soya too, my brother had cmpa but not soya.

You know that was my first thought when my hv suggested it!! Since she's been dairy free, even the smallest amount causes her severe stomach pains and hours of screaming- I gave her some teething granules without realising they contained lactose, and she was constipated for two days, so I'm reluctant to give her milkshake powder!! Though my neighbour says she has a strawberry pot and it says nothing except 'may contain soya'.

[Shiv52]

How's she been? Sorry you're struggling still.  Do you think it's the taste of the formula is putting her off?

[Hollie-Mae]

Thank you for asking, I'm sorry to keep coming back at you with this post but you lot really are my only source of help, I just don't know what to do anymore. She still has no teeth, is still barely drinking any, and although 20oz may be enough for her age, we're having more and more night wakings. Last night she was awake from 3-4 despite pu/pd, patting and pressure and all of my attempts, even 15 minutes of rocking! The only way she will go back to sleep is in bed with me. It's not habitual either as it's at random times. I don't really have much of an easy to post you as sometimes she screams before 4 hours for milk so I feed her at 3, 3.5 hours, and I'm convinced she needs to go from 2,45 A time to 3 hours as we're only having 45 minute naps which I can't extend despite desperate attempts, but she is so tired u can't get her to extend A time at all.
I am on my last legs with nobody here to support me, I just don't know what to do anymore?

[Shiv52]

Hugs Hun xx

45 minute naps are generally UT naps. LOs come into a light cycle of sleep at 40-45 minutes and if they are UT they wake and don't go back to sleep as they've had enough sleep and just aren't tired enough to sleep any more so I think you are right. She needs to be on 3 hours A time likely 3.15 to get better naps.

Did you feed last night at 3/4?  So she eventually went to sleep in your bed? 

Is your OH able to help out at nights?  To give you a break?  Or is he willing to do the DF and first half of the night so you can get some rest?

[Hollie-Mae]

That's exactly what I've been thinking, she was only have 45 minute first nap and then a longer second, but now both are 45 minute which screams longer A time, I think I'm just going to have to suffer the fight and stretch her out. Will attempt 3 hours first and see how we go. She's only just 6mo, is 3 hours about right or is more where I should be aiming for? How do you fit it all in to a 4 hour easy with such a long A time?

Unfortunately he is selfish, he has to get up for work in the morning so no, he won't help!

Do you think I should tackle the longer A time to get longer naps thus hoping to conquer the nw? I haven't been feeding when she wakes in the night I've just given up nice she hasn't settled in her bed and put her in with me as I didn't want to create a new night feeding habit. Do you think I should feed when she wakes?

Thank you so much, you honestly have no idea what it means to have someone to huge me some ideas, right now I really need a mum!! Xxx

[Lolly]

Would it be worth taking her back to the Dr regarding the reflux? I know the milk has made a difference but it does sound like she could be in pain and the decreasing milk intake could be a sign that she is refluxing again along with the sleep issues. I would ask for a meds trial, it would only take a couple of weeks of ranitidine at a decent dose for weight to rule it out or in. If she is teething that will make the reflux flare up.

Laura

[Shiv52]

Yes three hours is about right and yes it will take a few days to get her used to it.  I'd keep doing what you are and maybe not feed at night just to see do the longer A times help sort the nights.

I can't remember exactly but at 6 months our routine was something like:
8am wake up and feed
11am nap
1230 wake up
3.30 nap
5 wake up
8/8.15 bed 

I fed at 8 after naps and before bed so not quite 4 hourly and sometimes I tended to do a top up before naps to make sure they didn't wake out of hunger.

Unfortunately he is selfish, he has to get up for work in the morning so no, he won't help!

Hugs xx. I had one of those too and it was really hard. In the end I snapped and insisted he either did bedtime to 2am and then I'd take over or else he could do from 2am to morning.  My DH preferred the earlier stint as he was rubbish getting up during the night once he was asleep. Meant as well I could go get a bath and get to bed while he put the baby to bed and knew I wasn't on call until 2/3. He soon got used to it.   Being at home with a baby is way way harder than going to work so your DH needs to get with it and help out. You need a break too. The first 18 months of our DD1s life was really hard on our relationship as my DH was really selfish and really needed constant reality checks and very clear instructions as to what was expected.  Used to drive me nuts that he'd stay up late watching tv and then complain he was too tired to get up with the baby at the weekend.

[Shiv52]

I do also agree with Laura that it doesn't seem quite right that she's fighting the feeds etc and it could be reflux is still an issue too x

[Hollie-Mae]

She's unfortunately had hardly any sleep today as my mother in law ignores my clear instructions and I had no choice but to leave the baby with her as I am selling my horse- I have no time for my horse because my husband's hobby takes over our life!! So will start the 3 hour as time tomorrow and desperately hope for a change in this bad period we're having.

Unfortunately no matter what I say he won't help, he also sits in front of the tv or gets his fishing stuff ready but refuses to help me, will huff if I ask him to wash up, despite the fact that the dishes are dirty because I used things to cook his dinner!! He is also away a few nights a week with his hobby and often works nights with his job so he's rarely here anyway.

In what way do you think it may be reflux? I'm seeing the paed next week so hopefully I might shed some light on the refusing to drink.

[Lolly]

In what way do you think it may be reflux? I'm seeing the paed next week so hopefully I might shed some light on the refusing to drink.

Have a look at this list of symptoms - refusing to feed/ poor or erratic feeding, irritability and sleep issues are red flags for reflux. They don't have to be vomiting or losing weight for it to be reflux, my two were both  mostly silent refluxers and the sleep and feeding issues were their biggest symptoms.

Baby may have all or some combination of the following:

pain, irritability, constant or sudden crying, "colic"
frequent spitting-up or vomiting (large amounts or small amounts – or “silent reflux,” where baby does not spit up at all)
vomiting or spitting-up more than one hour after eating
not outgrowing the spitting-up stage
poor sleep habits, frequent waking
pain while lying flat
"wet burp" or "wet hiccup" sounds
recurrent or persistent hiccoughs
chronic dry cough
gassiness: from gulping air while crying and eating too voraciously
apnea – voluntarily holding breath while eating or sleeping, air then comes rushing in with an audible wheeze (and if eating, choking and gagging following apnea)
constant eating and drinking (swallowing temporarily relieves the pain)
refusing to feed, arching back, crying on breast or bottle even though hungry
poor weight gain; weight loss; failure to thrive in extreme cases
swallowing problems, gagging, choking
hoarse voice
frequent red, sore throat
ear infections
constantly running nose; sinus infections
bad breath, tooth enamel erosion
excessive salvation, drooling
peculiar neck arching, Sandifer's Syndrome
respiratory problems; pneumonia, bronchitis, wheezing, asthma, nighttime cough, apnea, aspiration, noisy or labored breathing (extreme cases)
eating disorders (extreme cases) – baby forgets how to eat and needs to be re-taught

Do any of these symptoms fit her at the moment?

{{HUGS}} on the husband issues too - have you tried making lists of what you do around the house and what he does? The reality is, if you are staying at home with your DD then she is your job like his outside work is his job - the house is a joint job!

Laura

[Hollie-Mae]

Thank you Laura this has really raised a lot of issues for me, I just feel so frustrated and let down by everybody who has been involved with my daughter's health, it's been endless and I'm sure there is a simple answer, if only I was actually listened to and not fobbed off!!

She always has wet burps, she constantly has the hiccups, has a chronic dry cough-worse at night and when laying flat and is very gassy which used to cause pain but has improved since being on neocate. Another thing which isn't on the list so may be irrelevant, when she does drink, she spills a hell of a lot, so much so she wears a bib and two Muslins folded four times to prevent her from getting soaked! So when I say she is taking 3oz, I don't know if she actually is! Do you think this is relevant? It makes no difference which size teat she has either?

I went to the gp today to ask for omepirozole as I posted on another group after reading your post to ask mums with cmpa babies of their experience of this and reflux and so many have agreed with you and suggested this medication. She refused to prescribe it as I am seeing a paediatrician next Thursday, I should get him to prescribe as it's so expensive!

As for my husband, I don't think anything will get through to him. He has watched me sell my horse today, my other baby who was my dream and my life before my dd came along- I was mucking out whilst having contractions with dd! He is still going away this weekend, and still has the cheek to say he hopes the baby sleeps tonight as he has to be up at 5 for fishing. God help me.

[Lolly]

If you are seeing a paed make sure you mention the feeding issues - has she ever been checked for tongue tie? You need to ask about dysphagia too as that can mimic reflux because of the difficulties in feeding  Alternative diagnoses and Reflux mimics.

I'm sending a cyber slap for Mr Insensitive too

Laura

[michaeljacknnugg]

Hugs honey - I know how big a deal it is to have to sell your horse. I didn't think I could get through things with a baby and my two, but we got there in the end. DH's support was crucial - I hope your DH realises what you've given up.

[Hollie-Mae]

You know, he really has no idea. I felt absolutely broken last night and all he could say was 'how do we fill the hole? What could you do instead to help you get over this?' She's gone to a fantastic home but that fills me with little comfort right now, I've been forgetting all day that I don't gave her anymore and had to remind myself that I needn't worry about her needs as I'm no longer the one to fulfil them! I can't wedge that gap. I know it will get easier over time but I don't know how I can ever forgive him for this.

Laura, thank you, I'm getting myself fully prepared for my dd's appointment on Thursday, as each day passes and the more info I get from people I speak to, the more convinced I am that this is a reflux issue left untreated. Hope the paediatric knows what's coming on Thursday! Xx