Is there anything I can do to improve his mood?

[labrodyk]

Thanks ladies, that's really helpful. I'm doing what I think is right but he doesn't seem to respond positively to anything.

I pulled the nap back a good 20 mins yesterday from 2 to 1.30 and woke him at 3 with BT at 7.30. He was a lot better at night (fell asleep by 8 quietly) but of course woke earlier this morning cryng he'd lost his comforters just before 6. I returned them and he just chatted until 7 on his gro clock.

Is there any way of getting him to sleep a little longer than 6am (10hrs) or is that it? Even 1/2hr would be nice. Perhaps I'm being too selfish with this sleeping thing - I'm lucky and happy he does sleep well but the mornings kill me aks means he has even longer time until his nap at 1.30! Capping, moving, it doesn't make a difference seemingly. What would you all do? Just live with it or push/cap nap? He's still only 26mo this December...

[jessmum46]

I think you need to shorten his nap hun, looking back through the thread he was quite frequently doing 1.5h naps pretty early on in this discussion so nothing's really changed there....I would take the plunge and cut to 1h15 or an hour x

[labrodyk]

Ok! Thank you Katherine!, I can do that 1.30-2.45, would that be ok? Or too late with a 6am wakeup?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

We do a 12:30/1:00 nap with a 6/6:30 am wake up at she is 16 months (well almost!) so I could see a 26 mo going a bit longer. For us though bedtime is 8 pm as both A's need to be quite long.

[labrodyk]

Ok, wow, absolute nightmare of a day and bedtime. Tantrummed to the point of screaming but bedtime was horrific. From 6.30 he was absolutely beside himself and at 7.30 he didn't want to turn his gro clock off the sun setting (well he did but then had a nightmare of a tantrum because he wanted the sun back on! Not because he wanted to stay up either, he was exhausted!).

After a 6am wake, I capped the nap at 1hr15min from 1.35 (took a little while to fall asleep) and I woke him at 2.50. His Behaviour seemed typical of OT but I'm not sure. Should I have pulled the nap back and/or bedtume?

I'm sorry, trying to go with the flow but it's so not me especially when H is so spirited and upset.

[labrodyk]

Definitely OT, my poor little possum. All he's done is cry and tantrum since he woke up! By 9.30 he was crawling back into bed and was screaming in tiredness from midday. I managed to get him to collapse into bed at 1pm and let him sleep and he woke up at 3pm - so 2hrs.

Not quite sure what to do so will keep trudging along and put him down at 7.30 tonight.

[jessmum46]

Hun you have to push through the OT and stop letting him catch up with a long nap.  He *will* get OT short term from nap capping until he learns to add the sleep to his night.  If you continue to allow a long nap you will get a short night again and the spiral will continue. 

[Buttonbobs]

I do agree with this ^^^

I know it seems counterintuitive but pushing through really is the right way.

Adding hugs and support x

[labrodyk]

Thank you ladies, it was just so hard yesterday - I didn't know what else to do as emotions were high

Could I please get some assistance in regards to what time the capped nap should be at? I'm all over the place now and very confused. He's now 26mo. He must have got a second wind because he was falling asleep in the car at 1pm (woke just before 6) and is chatting away 10mins later from pd at 1.30pm.do I get him up 1hr 15 mins from the time he's quiet or at 2.45 based on how long he's been 'in bed'?

He also doesn't want to turn the sun on his gro clock off which is proving testing? I've just been letting him have it on then turning it on once he's asleep. Is this an okay approach or perhaps there are alternative strategies I can employ?

Thank you so much for your continued support.

[labrodyk]

Wow, we had a really bad day. I'm sorry for posting again, just very upset.

Since he didn't want to put the sun to sleep without a tantrum I left it on and he chatted from 1.30-2 but then came running out saying it was time to get up because the sun was up. He then was up and down, up and down crying/screaming and I couldn't get him to lay down or even be quiet. He just wanted the sun back since I'd put the clock back to nap mode. I totally lost my cool which did absolutely nothing for the situation. After doing a wee on the bedroom floor he finally fell asleep at 2.59 but then woke at 3 saying his clock sun was up so time to get up. So perhaps he's had 1min sleep today! I have no idea what is instore night wise or how to approach bedtime. I'll aim for 6.30 and see how we go. He doesn't tack on at all so I don't want us to spiral into more of the crazy loop we're already in if I put him down too early.

Sorry to continue to bother you all, I just need to clear my head by writing things down here too.

[jessmum46]

Hugs hun, you're not bothering us, that's what we're here for . Sorry for the rough day.  Unfortunately this is what happens when you start hitting the 1-0, things get rather messy and nap refusals often happen.  I would shoot for bt maybe 1-1.5h or so earlier than usual, I know you said he doesn't usually tack on but the 1-0 can often be a time when the rules change a bit.  If he hasn't napped you have to give him chance to make up the lost sleep somewhere.

I would however not give in and change things up on the gro clock to avoid a tantrum.  That could be majorly shooting yourself in the foot.  You can't expect him to sleep if the sun is up, that's kind of against the rules...so no questions, sun goes to sleep next time, tantrum or no tantrum xxx

[Truly Blessed]

Sorry to continue to bother you all, I just need to clear my head by writing things down here too.

Oh Honey, please don't think my last post meant in any way we are not here for you, I can just sense how stressed you are, and I know it is hard, so you could do with taking a deep breathe and realising you simply can't always 'fix' things overnight. I agree with everything the ladies have said in PP. I think what you need is a solid plan. A set nap time and nap length no matter what time he wakes. Then as suggested you can nudge BT forward on nap refusal days, if he is struggling. So I'd shoot for this maybe:

WU (whatever it is 6/6.30)

Nap 1.00 til 2 capped

BT 7.30 (asleep for)

Personally, I'd put down for his nap at the same time, but I'd also wake at the same time, if he takes a while to settle, so wake at 2 no matter what, or you won't have the consistency. I know it's hard nap capping and pushing through the OT, but it is the only way to get better nights. I have known many LO's end up on a 20 min capped nap! to get through the 1-0. Definitely put the gro-clock on no matter what, or that will just get messier, he'll get the message if you're consistent. I know any wavering from the 'gro clock' rules bites you in the ass! lol.

Also it's really important to remember that trying something for one day will very very rarely show results, you need to stick to a plan for quite some time, before you can conclude it's not working. I always find that a solid plan takes away the stress from me, all the changing up just drives me crazy. So you go with it and if it backfires, you crack on until BT. Do consider what you are doing on  no nap afternoons though Hun, keeping it low key if possible.

Have you considered shooting for a 20 min cat nap in the car around 4 pm on no nap days  instead of EBT, because he hasn't tacked on in the past. This was an absolute life saver for us during the 1-0 on total melt down days, and although LO can be hard to wake, it's not long to get through to BT, so in some ways easier than waking from an earlier nap.

(HUGS) Sweetie.x.

[Buttonbobs]

Adding to the hugs and support sweetie and also to provide some reassurance, E never ever tacked on, until the 1-0. It was her way of self regulating really.

Stick with it, it will get better x

[labrodyk]

A plan!! Thank you thank you thank you Vicki. As I said, I feel so clueless and like I'm drowning. I've done what I think is right but it always makes things worse for H and I feel terrible. I understand it's next to impossible to gauge results from one day so I'll stick with your suggestion for a good week and come back to you all.

I know I shot myself in the foot with the gro clock and will stick to it but I can't even get him into bed he just holds the clock and screams "sun come back here now"! Lol. I'll be strict and push on though and just keep returning him to bed when he comes out?

What would suggest I do if he sleeps longer than 6/6.30 in the am? For now I'll just keep the nap time the same at 1 as you suggest. Would that nap time need to move at all.

taking big deep breaths too. Oh and I didn't think you meant you weren't here for me; I just feel so stupid constantly asking for help on the same sleep issue for 2 years. You'd think by now I would have some idea, but no..

Thank you again.
Xx

[Truly Blessed]

I just feel so stupid constantly asking for help on the same sleep issue for 2 years. You'd think by now I would have some idea, but no..

Well lucky you! I ask for help on a million different issues, so you clearly are doing better than me lol 

If he sleeps longer in the morning, then I would keep nap time the same for now in order to try and combat the OT. You are of course exactly right that it could very well need pushing out, and I guess if he does sleep on and it is too early for him he will let you know, but you have to start somewhere. Would you feel better about starting out with a later set nap time in case he does sleep on in the morning, please feel free to have some input if you think there are tweaks to make the plan better.

WRT the gro-clock you could just take it out of the equation altogether right now, and just tell him "Mammy will come and get you when it is time to wake up" I fully appreciate that it is not helping the situation right now if he is getting upset about it, it seems it is what he is clinging to, to make the point that he is cross with sleep right now  Or you could go shopping for an alternative clock.

Did I show you this Hun, my DS adores his and it is very relaxing. It fill the whole ceiling with stars and turns of after 20 mins if you want it to.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mookie-2303-Snuggly-Puppy/dp/B00CICEVSU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418807836&sr=8-1&keywords=dream+lites

Maybe  introducing something fun and new like this could help him see his bed as a nice place to be again.

(HUGS) Honey.x.