almost 3 year after vacation nap/bedtime drama

[nona]

hi!

my almost 3 year old historically has been easy to put down for a nap and bedtime up until the week of new years. she has almost always gone down willingly.  we went OOT over new years week (tues-sat) to my ILs and she went to bed very late the first night after traveling (but had a good nap that day).  I had the hardest time putting her down for nap/bedtime the rest of the week. She was sleeping in a PNP in the same room as her 8 year old brother but at the end of the week we had to move her into our room and stay in the room until she had fallen asleep for nap/bedtime and after consoling several times etc. we were staying at my ILs house and it was a total nightmare!

I was not too concerned bc she normally transitions back with no problem. well, this week has been such a pain! lots of, "stay with me" and "will you check on me" and hysterical crying bc she wants a certain doll in bed with her or a dresser drawer is not closed. I was accommodating and staying in the room for a little bit (i have like 1 hour of free time when she goes down for a nap and brother gets home from school)  and "checking on her". when i do check on her she just cries and cries when i leave.

so towards the end of this week when the above was obviously not working, I would stay in room for a couple of minutes and then check on her once but that's it and  letting her cry a bit (maybe a minute?)  and she eventually goes to sleep bc going in and staying in room is not helping and seems to be adding to the drama and delaying nap time for about 30 minutes.

Her schedule was off during the holidays (later nights, but sleeping in later in am, and later nap times with long naps). we came home on a saturday and did my best to get back on schedule but she started preschool again on Tuesday where they only get about 1 hour nap time. On those days, I put her to bed very early, 6:30-7pm, but on both preschool days this week, lots of drama and she went to bed closer to 730 bc crying , etc.

i do think she still needs a nap. 

So not sure what to do? this is not what i thought would happen! i hate that she is crying at nap/bedtime makes it so stressful and she is not particularly happy when she wakes up either like she normally is (she usually wakes and plays and crib and chills and then calls for me). I can pick her up from school early-ish next week and have her nap at home next week (although my only 2 days kid free  ) if that helps to get her back on track?

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun,

DS is always the same when we go and stay with relatives, I have even stopped trying to leave him at BT and always lie with him until he is asleep, so I don't think what happened when you were away is unusual or anything to worry about. The question is whether or not what is happening now is because of being out of her routine or something else. She is of an age where dropping the nap wouldn't be unusual. I think it would be wise to stick with her current routine for a little while longer. Do WI/WO or GW whichever you think she would respond to but if things don't improve it could be that she is starting the 1-0 transition and the trip away was just co-incidence. WRT her crying when you leave her, if you think she is at all genuinely upset I would always return, but if it is a case of her grouching and you can tell as her Mammy it's just her trying to settle then it's okay for a minute or two, but I would err on the side of caution in case the trust is broken Honey. You know her best.

I am posting this information for you to read about the 1-0. Lots of LO's still need a nap when the transition starts but it's really not as straight forward as you may think, or rather hope as I did.

Let me know your thoughts.

((HUGS))

The 1-0 transition...Advice and Tips to help you through.

x.

[nona]

i know this is a just a transition thing and she is not dropping a nap. i just don't think she would all of sudden need to get rid of a nap while one week before she was napping and going to bed w/o problems and all of this started last week while we were OOT. She has never done this before and we go OOT a lot. 

I think some of it may be sleeping in a pack n play....she is almost 3, so may not be too comfortable. however, she has and will fall of a bed (still turns in sleep) and I don't always have toddler rails.

both of my kids are on the higher sleep needs spectrum. my DS did not drop his nap until 4.5 years (napping a few times a week) and she is has a similar temperament with regards to sleep.

im concerned bc #1. babysitters  - she was left with one last night and will be left with one in the future and it is difficult for them #2. we are leaving her for a week with my ILs in March. last night the babysitter stayed with her until she fell asleep. a bit tricky as she is supposed to be watching my other child as well and i don't want her to be stressed.

this afternoon, i put her down and rubbed her back again and of course she is drifting off to sleep and when is top she starts whimpering. so did it again and then when i left and heard her about to cry i was outside the door and told i was right there, etc, etc. did that twice and so far haven't heard from her. anyway, so looks like a combo of WI/WO (although i'm not going back in the room, just opening door) and GW i guess for now.

ugh. spoke too soon..crying again...so now i'm just going to get her stirred up again by going in the room.

[Truly Blessed]

i know this is a just a transition thing and she is not dropping a nap. i just don't think she would all of sudden need to get rid of a nap while one week before she was napping and going to bed w/o problems and all of this started last week while we were OOT.

I tend to agree Hun, just felt it was worth throwing it out there.

What have you used before/worked best before WRT WI/WO or GW 

x.

[nona]

neither! this has never happened before!!

so today at nap i rocked her longer than normal and she fell asleep. was hoping to transfer her to bed (we don't usually rock her to sleep but if it happens it is very easy to put her to bed in crib). well, this time she woke and didn't want me to leave the room. so i rubbed her back a bit and left and she was crying and opened door twice to say i was there, its ok, go to sleep, etc. of course she still cries but then feel asleep again after 1 min of crying.

so i'm torn bc i hate leaving her to cry but the more i linger and then leave and come back it makes it worse? i never had to do anything of this back rubbing, etc before a week ago.

ive had it pretty good with her just want to get it worked out ASAP. also, one little thing to note is that she is in a crib w/ a crib tent. when she was around 18 months or so she was climbing out and so i borrowed a crib tent. my friend is going to need the crib tent back pretty soon.ugh! so stressing about this bc if the tent is not there it will make her upset and if things don't improve i can see her trying to climb out which mean i have to confer to toddler bed which means i she will be free to roam the house (i have a dangerous toddler!)

[katie80]

so i'm torn bc i hate leaving her to cry but the more i linger and then leave and come back it makes it worse?

Honestly, I would do your normal routine for naps and bedtimes, not trying to 'help' her more and then do WIWO at the door (just opening it) or even just speaking through it. She will know you're there for her, you're not leaving her to cry and she's in an environment she knows (I would not recommend it if you were still away, iyswim). It sounds like she got a bit off, maybe is going through something developmental as she's almost 3, and just needs consistency to get back on track.

if things don't improve i can see her trying to climb out which mean i have to confer to toddler bed which means i she will be free to roam the house (i have a dangerous toddler!)

You can always put a gate at her door!

[Truly Blessed]

I agree with this Hun ^ and also, try not to worry some LO's actually love being in a bed instead and do way better than you expect. Once she goes in a bed if necessary you could try lying on the floor next to her until she learns to stay in it, and yes, I would definitely recommend a baby gate at the door for sure.

x.

[nona]

ok great, i will do our normal routine. last night went pretty well. i rocked for longer (which is fine) and she wanted me to pat her back  - i told her i would do it 5 times so we agreed on 5x and that i would check on her once if she called for me. she never called so drifted off to sleep fine.

i am nervous about the BGB bc we have had so many sleep issues with my DS once he moved to a bed. I had to put 2 gates in his door (one on top of the other). he would still sleep with us if he could and he is 8 years old.

i just want to her back to going to bed w/ no problems before making a change.

[katie80]

She'll get there... sounds like last night went well!

[nona]

last night went OK. my DH put her to bed.  we will see how nap goes. FX!

[katie80]

FX for you too.

[Truly Blessed]

Adding crossed legs and eyes x.

[nona]

nap yesterday was not so great. and she only napped for an hour. sometimes if i miss her window it messes it up and i put her down later than i intended. today will be a short nap bc she is at preschool ugh. oh well, early bedtime......time to be REALLY consistent

[katie80]

Yes, that's what these delightful 3yr olds need, isn't it?!

[nona]

wish me luck today last night went fine - getting much better.  she is asking me to check on her "one more time" but then she falls asleep before she can ask me