chaos after sickness/hospital stay

[katie80]

It's always something, isn't it?! Hope you get the tummy stuff figured out.

[dache]

I feel so beat. Getting ready to throw in the towel
Wednesday and Thursday she cried so much she ended up sleeping on my chest, in our bed! First time. I felt stupid bc here I am trying to get her to sleep on her own but Im taking her in bed with me.
Friday night I spent most of the night hanging above her (we are at my mum`s for the weekend and she sleeps in pack and play so not able to put my hand trough the bars).
Yesterday she`d wake cried until I picked her up the first two times and then she basically falls asleep the second I picked her up. The next 10 times she fussed, went back to sleep with my hand or just the dummy.
Naps also was stupidly out of order. She took 2x30 minutes naps yesterday. 1.30h the days before that.
BT is again getting late, 8/8.30.

She has one tooth out, I give her meds and gel for that.

Friday I was out for the nap and dh did pd with wi/wo.He said she was done after 7-8times. GW is not working bc she gets even more upset when she sees me there and I dont give her my hand. And when I see she gets upset I give in. It`s the way she cries. She is loud, aggressive, she holds her breath...

If we do wi/wo dh would be able to do the nap and be firm about it, but I have to do bt and deal with night wakings and I dont know if I can do it.
I`d also want to wean her from the paci bc I think its bad for her teeth but I cant do it.
I can`t believe it, becoming a mum has made me a wuss 

I honestly just want to run away. She is so sweet during the day and then at nights its horror. I`m dreading the 18m sleep regression. Why cant she just sttn? Or even if she wakes, why cant she just go back to sleep with just the paci as before? I know its my fault for creating a prop but still...why cant she 

[katie80]

(((Hugs))), Dache.

I'll leave the ST plan up to you, as you know her and your determination best. WIWO is a great tool I've used with both my more spirited children (DD and DS2). She is old enough now that you can really talk her throught it... i.e. mommy is going to leave when I put you down to sleep, I will always come back if you need me, but you need to lie down and go to sleep, etc etc. Very boring and monotone and consistent and it works really well.

I wouldn't take the paci away right now, IIWY. She's at an age where she likely still needs that comfort, esp as she's teething. Most pacis are orthodontic and lots of LOs have them for 2/3/4yrs. If you limit it to sleep times, I don't think it will be a teeth problem. You can however, fully remove yourself from the equation and give her total responsibility over it. Ultimately, it's your call, but those are my thoughts.

[dache]

I am calmed down now, the previous post was a sleep deprived rant.

She woke up 5:30 on Sunday. So she had a short nap after 3h. Then she dozed off for 20 minutes in the train. When I gave her milk at 7 she was falling asleep. Her night was great. She woke up at 12:00 when we went to bed but I repluged the paci and she was a sleep till  5:40 this morning. I gave her a bottle and she went back to sleep till 7.
I put her down for a nap at 11. NO FASS AT ALL. She stayed there waiting for the paci and her blacked. I walked out and she was asleep. She`s been sleeping for 1.40 minutes now.


 I do have a plan
I was reading in FAQ yesterday and found an old thread where mums talk about exactly that, the hand being  prop.
And I got a lot of info and ideas

I`ve decided to take look at what I really want. I want her to sleep well, sttn, and then remove my hand from the equation. Will keep tha paci for Christmas to give to Santa to give to another baby 
I think until now I was hoping things will improve on their own, or maybe I won`t have to do much. Her crying really gets to me!

So the plan(goals) is
1. Get her to a nap at 11 earliest, moving it till 12.
2. Get her to descent  bt.
3. Get her to sleep at least 10.5h at night, the real goal would be 12/13h.
4. Get my hand on the mattress
5. Get my hand out of the crib but me still there
6. Get myself out of the room.

And I am aware it will take time. Weeks, if not months (hopefully not ). I know that GW will be hard, she will get fuming mad and cry. But I`ll deal with it somehow. Maybe get ear plugs.

Im hoping this will also help with the EW.

I have a couple of questions.
Do you think at her age 5-5.5h A time is enough or too much/too little?
If she wakes up 5:30 and wont go back to sleep even with the bottle how many hours do I keep her up before the nap? Should I count the 5h from 5:30 which will make nap time around 10 or should I try and push her to the goal nap time?

Thanks for your input/advice.

[katie80]

Sounds like a good plan, hon.

Do you think at her age 5-5.5h A time is enough or too much/too little?

I think it's just right, very average.

If she wakes up 5:30 and wont go back to sleep even with the bottle how many hours do I keep her up before the nap? Should I count the 5h from 5:30 which will make nap time around 10 or should I try and push her to the goal nap time?

I would push her as close to the goal time as you can, knowing that you might have to put her down 30-45min early.

As for the crying, ear plugs are a great idea. Also, keep reminding yourself it's just her way of communicating frustration. She's telling you she wants it the other way, but you're teaching her a new way (one that you believe is better).  Know that she's not hurt or in fear or feeling abandoned, just communicating; so, stick with it!

Good luck!

[dache]

As for the crying, ear plugs are a great idea. Also, keep reminding yourself it's just her way of communicating frustration. She's telling you she wants it the other way, but you're teaching her a new way (one that you believe is better).  Know that she's not hurt or in fear or feeling abandoned, just communicating; so, stick with it

Thank you for saying this. Off course I knew it, but it`s hard to remember it when she is crying so much!

Nights are so much better. I`ve pushed her nap till 11 and it works amazing. She wakes up for the paci and cries only if she can`t find one.
Getting her to sleep is also easy. I just need to get the right time when she is not UT or OT. That way she does not need my hand.
Since the last time I posted I`ve used my hand once, tonight for bt. DH put her for a nap at 11:30 and she slept until 2. I kind of wondered if she will be tiered enough for bt, and I was right. I put her down at 7:20 and she was up. I went in, gave her my hand and I was so calm. Just knew that she needs me there bc she is UT, she will let go of me when she is ready to go to sleep. She dozed off at 7:45 and I left the room while she was awake.

I`m wondering if she was UT bc the nap was 2.5h or bc she woke up at 2 instead of 1 like the previous days.
Do you think it`s a good idea to cap the nap? I will not let her have more then 2h for sure, but if I move nap time to 12 she will be up at 2. Which means that A time will be 5.5h and I`m not sure if that`s enough.
So keep nap at 11/11:30 and let her have 2h nap or move it to 12 and cap it after 1.5h?

EW is still an issue but I`m hoping it will be fixed when her naps are regular or with the time change. I`m also wondering maybe she is getting used to the bottle so early 

[dache]

Well, the good period lasted for only 2 days 
The third night was chaos and I was fuming. She wanted my hand but did not wanted it, played with it and cried when I removed it.
I started having pain in the arm and got upset.


Can it be hunger? When I give her a bottle (210ml) she drinks it all, sometimes leaves maybe 30ml.
I gave her a bottle at 1 last night, she drank almost all then fell asleep. Wu at 5, stud up in the crib, moved around, sat down...Next thing I remember it was 8am. This make me think hunger.

She sounds like she is getting another cold too . Aghhhh

[Katet]

Maybe thirst, is her room heated, is it dry heat? I'd say at her age she shouldn't need a night feed but could be thirsty in the night KWIM.

I'd try giving her water & see if that changes things & up the calories where you can in the day.

[katie80]

^^^ Good point!  How are things going, Dache?

[dache]

  I don`t want to talk about it, it`s that bad
She has many teeth coming out, and has a cold, or maybe her nose is runny bc she is teething but she is coughing a lot.
Two nights ago she was very upset and was not able to sleep so I took her in the living room and we spent the night on the couch.
Tonight she was up for 7h. I tried EBT but she didnt wanted to sleep. After that she was OT and upset and fell asleep in my arms.
I just try not to create even more props, or other issues that I`ll have to deal with.

I try to give her more water.Thanks for the advice.  And I think she is eating enough. But Ill try and offer more food too.

[katie80]

(((Hugs))), honey. Hang in there... teething is so tough for some. I remember a few nights on the couch with my DD during her 1yr molars. Do what you can and it'll pass.