Hugs, hun. I agree about the trial and error but at 14 weeks, I don't think this should be happening. When did this start? Is she perhaps in a wonder week or something? That can cause fussiness with feeds. Otherwise, yes, your idea of reducing the ounces a bit sounds like a plan. Is she having formula or expressed bm?
I have heard about other mums with similar problems and they too found that their baby would happily take the feed before nap 1 (but that would throw the day off) and others who said that their baby was just never hungry on wake up.