In an EW rut, is there anything I can do?

[katie80]

One month ago, I dropped the last two NFs we had. The first week went pretty normally, ups and downs but some decent resettles. However, C started cutting molars and became increasingly difficult to settle in the early morning and now we're stuck with EWs.

I've had the advice already to set the nap and BT and I'm trying to stick to that as much as I can. I think some nights he struggles to settle at BT because he's OT. I've also made sure he's not falling asleep nursing before bed, as that was his MO when really tired after changing to one nap, so I think that is playing a small part in the settling at bedtime too.

I guess what I'm wondering is if I should just plod along and hope that at some point the WU comes later or if there is something else I can do. He is on the LSN side, but I don't really know how much. I feel like he's not getting quite what he needs right now, as he pretty much always looks tired and is fussy (although I do know the teething is factoring into that).

Here is my log for the last week...
Fri 4/17
WU 7am (resettled at 5 after late BT and getting sick in MOTN)
Nap 12:30-2:15pm
BT 7:15pm (tried for 7, took a bit to settle)


Sat 4/18
WU 5:15am (couldn't resettle)
Nap 11:50-1:20 (in car; meant for 11:30, but late)
BT 6:30pm (thought I should've done 6, but trying to keep it later)
2 NW

Sun 4/19
WU 5:05am (couldn't resettle)
Nap 11-11:30am (in car)
Nap 3:15-4pm
BT 7:20pm (tried for 7, took a bit to settle)

Mon 4/20
WU 5:20am
Nap 11:30-1:40 (woken by slamming door)
BT 6:55pm
1 NW

Tues 4/21
WU 5:25am (less screaming, did lie down and try to settle a few times)
Nap 11:30-1pm (in car)
BT 6:30
NW (2:40-4am)

Wed 4/22
WU 6:30am
Nap 12-1:20
BT 6:30
NW (1:30-3am)

Thur 4/23
WU 6:30
Nap 12-1:40
BT 7pm (aimed for 6:30, but got super upset when we had to set book down and struggles to settle)

Fri 4/24
WU 5:30
Nap 11:30-1:20
BT (will shoot for 6:30)

[Domestic Engineer]

What do you do when he wakes up early in the morning? How long do you try resettling before you start the day? Will he play quietly in bed at all, or does he need you right away when he wakes up?

[Martini~]

Katie only idea I would have, push morning nap till 12:30 and aim for 6:30 BT. WDYT?

[katie80]

What do you do when he wakes up early in the morning? How long do you try resettling before you start the day? Will he play quietly in bed at all, or does he need you right away when he wakes up?

I lay on his floor and encourage him to lie down and go to sleep. I do the same at NWs, and if his teeth aren't bothering him he goes back to sleep in minutes. There have been a couple mornings that he's laid down and tried, but mostly he ends up getting mad and standing up and screaming. I try resettling until about 6am (started by waiting til 6:30, but after three weeks I can't take that much screaming anymore ). He is upset pretty much upon wake-up.

Katie only idea I would have, push morning nap till 12:30 and aim for 6:30 BT. WDYT?

I think it's worth a try... I'm a little afraid of an OT, 30min nap, but I should be able to resettle. Maybe I'll try 12pm for a few days and then 12:30?

Thank you!

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

I was just going to come post this! Lol. Our kids are always in cahoots aren't they? C has been doing the 5am game for weeks now. SO old!

I've recently moved nap back to 1130 and she is sleeping 2.5-3h for nap. Unfortunatley that hasn't helped our EW issue. I am doing the same as you, well DH is, but she just cries and fusses. :/

[newkidontheblock]

Not much help from me as I'm clueless about that age but here to offer {hugs} and support. We really need to have a MOTN pity party club. As I was settling E at 5 this morning, I had this image in my mind of all of you other BW mums doing the same somewhere around the world. Hang in there, hun. Let's hope we all get some sleep soon

[Martini~]

Yes go for 12 for couple of days, and than 12:30. I think it's Kellys here who will tell you that her early waking didn't stop until morning A was 6h...? And afternoon was 4h I guess. I may PM her if you would like some more btdt:).

[katie80]

I was just going to come post this! Lol. Our kids are always in cahoots aren't they? C has been doing the 5am game for weeks now. SO old!

Silly babies!! Can't quite remember how old your C is, but could it be 18mo regression for you?! My G is HSN, but I think I was capping at 2-2.5hr around 18/20mo. (((Hugs))), 5am is no fun!

Marta - What are you aiming for in sleep totals now? Got lucky this morning with a 6:20ish wake-up (BT ended up post 7pm last night). So, I pushed nap to 12:30 and got 2hr, woohoo!! Wondering if I should aim for 7 or 7:30 BT... what do you think?

He did
WU 6:20am
Nap 12:25-2:25pm
BT ??

[Martini~]

I think 13...? But I allow 14,5 if needed.

So routine is:
- 7am wakeup but usually is awake before like 6:30-6:45; very rare when OT 6:10 but I am not coming in and he is in his crib talking to himself, dozing or whatever
- Nap at 11:45/12 (cannot be pushed as in the nursery), not capped, usually 1:15 - 1:45, but the most common 1:30; when wonder weeking/after illnes/OT, can do up to 2:30; I am resistant to cap this nap and for now I am not planning to do it as this boy always was sleeping only what he needs at nap time; I also don't plan to push it; DS will be in this group in the nursery up to 18/20mo so nap time will be the same, maybe at home during weekends I will push
- BT 7pm usually settles slowly and calmly for 10-20min

So I guess it's 11,5 night +1,5h nap = 13h, but he has days when he sleeps till 7am after 2:20 nap and being almost dead at BT:).

And this ^^^^ is usual. At this moment we are not usual as for last week DS is waking at night, does EWU and refuses BT but I guess it's illness (he had some eye virus), wonder weekening (this week is stormy...) and teething as he is producing saliva in cups:P.

[katie80]

Ok, thanks... just good to know what you're aiming for. I think he probably needs between 13-13.5, so will just have to see... We also have teeth mucking with things, although not quite as much wetness the last couple days, so maybe a short respite.

[Martini~]

I am aiming for night sleep without breaks:D:D:D and that's my only goal honey!!!
But you know how it is about goals... you may set them, but it's not so easy with execution!

[katie80]

LOL, I totally get it! I'm aiming to wake up after 6am and have at least 1.5hr nap... my goals are not big!

[creations]

Just stopping by with a hug and sympathy really - I was there with EWs always trying to get the WU later.

I know you're trying the nap later at 12.30, this sounds absolutely the right thing to do to me. Looking at your logs, it seems a 10.5 to 11hr night is the max you can get, which was just like my DS too.  Even the nights you got 12hrs from BT to WU there looks like a 1.5hr NW so the overall sleep is still no longer, just more tiring for you to have to get up.
I would accept a 10.5hr night and work on positioning the nap in the right part of the day to achieve a WU time you are happy with, if that makes sense. So maybe something like
WU 6.30
nap
BT 8.00
I know it looks like a long day but it looks like your DS isn't going to give you more sleep than that. It gives the option for him to sleep later, until 7am say, and if he did this regularly you might see a regular 11hr night instead (but still a lateish BT at 8pm yk?)
IMO the longer you keep BT early the longer the early WUs continue. I do wish I'd shifted BT later much earlier than I did (hindsight).

I don't remember exactly what time DS's nap was at that age. I'd have to go hunting for records or threads...but I do know when he was older we settled for a long time on a 2-4nap. It seems very late in the day and wouldn't suit everyone, but the point is all LOs are individual aren't they, so just wanted to say really that it can work for some, it's not a bad thing to head toward. our settled routine (slightly older) was:
WU 6.30/7.00
nap 2 - 4
BT 8pm
And we stayed there until he hit the nap drop.

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

Medi went through a phase of ew around 12 months and I'm sure it was because she was napping too early (and too long) so I started keeping her up til 12:30 and it helped.

[katie80]

Thanks, creations and Sarah! I appreciate hearing your experience. Pushing the nap later has definitely helped in terms of it becoming consistently between 1.5-2hr (until today, of course ). I'm cautious about pushing BT, as I know he's OT and some nights bedtime ends up later anyway (either because he can't settle of because of some activity for Claire) and he does a shorter night, still waking early.

So, we're working on it. I think the bottom molars are about to cut, as he's still having quite unsettled nights and after the shorter nap today, couldn't keep his hands out of his mouth. But, I think (hope) with gradual pushes (must remind myself this isn't going to be an overnight fix!), we'll eventually get there.