34 month old sleep help

[jessmum46]

Honestly.......weeks wouldn't be unusual . Sorry to say that though!  We did the nap drop whilst I was heavily pregnant/with a newborn so I know it's not a nice prospect.  DH basically handled DD at night whilst I dealt with the baby.  We were tired but survived!

[labrodyk]

It's been 2 weeks of hell so far but hopefully we'll get there soon!!

I'm just wondering whether the 6pm bedtime could be affecting anything in regards to call outs, crying, waking early and also wandering out crying to get me for kisses and cuddles?
His hyperactivity and inability to listen or do anything I say all day is really starting to worry me. Especially with the wakings and early wakings, I'm scared he's not getting enough sleep.

 Saturday 19-Sept (~12hrs)
WU: 5.50
OOB: 7.00
QT: 1.00-2.00 (iPad)
BT: 5.40, asleep 5.55
Call out cry: 2.20

Sunday 20-Sept (11.5hrs?)
WU: 5.30/6.00
OOB: 7.00
QT: 2.00-3.00 (iPad)
BT: 6.00, asleep 6.20

NW: 4.20, wanting a kiss. Back to sleep at 4.40

Monday 21-Sept (11.5hrs?)
WU: 5.55
OOB: 7.00
QT: 2.00-3.00
BT: 6.20, asleep 6.30

Tuesday 22-Sept
WU: between 5.30-6.00 dozing then wide awake rolling around

Is this really enough sleep?! I know I sound stupid but his daytime behavior worries me...

[jessmum46]

Is this really enough sleep?!

No, probably not, but that's what happens during transition and it may be all you are going to get until he properly settles without a nap.  You can give opportunity for sleep but you can't make him   Both of mine I would say have gone through periods with nap transitions where they probably ended up with around 45mins-1h less sleep per 24h than they needed/I thought they needed.  But it was all we could manage at the time and they survived yk?  Yes his total sleep is a bit low, yes he's OT but that is inevitable with the 1-0.  His behaviour is down to OT as are the NWs.  Really there aren't that many options though - you hang in there, you offer a nap (but accept that may shorten the night and compound OT) or you offer an earlier BT for a while.  I know of at least one mum here who did 10-10.5h days when first on one nap which meant 4.30/5pm bedtime on occasion but that wouldn't suit everyone.  Deep breaths, a whole stack of patience and don't ask too much of him, particularly in the afternoons.  Keep it low key and try to do the 'busy' things in the morning before he gets really tired.  And don't be scared to just stick on a movie and cuddle up together for a bit, you need a break too!!

[labrodyk]

Thanks Katherine!! I'm pretty sure I'm going to go into labour very soon and things are just so crazy but we're sticking with it. Today we had a movie day but after that was over (around 2.30) it just plummeted downhill fast - he's obnoxious, doesn't listen, runs around doing laps of the house yelling, and just being really hyperactive, destructive and causing havoc on our fur animals. Let alone the meltdowns.

I would be more than happy to do 10/10.5 hour days if he slept until at least 6 or 7 but that won't happen. When we've tried as early as 5.30 he was up before 5 singing and laughing. I can't believe it's so difficult for us - none of our friends have had this; they just drop the nap and are happy and sleep 12+ hours. Starting to feel really hopeless and hate to see him so grumpy, yet our alternatives aren't really an option either. Doesn't help when all he does is cry for me to do absolutely everything through the day. He's getting down to bed later because of the shenanigans it takes with dad each night.

Will keep on going I guess.

[jessmum46]

Some of his behaviour could also be due to the imminent arrival it's tough I know.  I'd just pick a bedtime and stick with it, may give him chance to start regulating his sleep and at least you know what's happening when x

[labrodyk]

Ok, bedtime is picked of 6.30. Now to just sort out his behavior. He pushed and covered my mouth so I couldn't explain why we had to be gentle with our cats only to be met with an almost hour long tantrum where NOTHING worked to calm him. He went on and on and on and on and on.
He calmed enough to eat some lunch and then I insisted he went to lay down in his room (he started crying again) and shortly after, max 5 mins, he was asleep. I gave him about 15/20mins and he wasn't happy about being woken but I didn't know what else to do.... Have I set us back?

I'm starting to really freak out about having him and a newborn.

[Johnnyha65]

Hey, just popped on to see how it's going. Do you think some of the behaviour could be birthday related, with the added sleep complexities? R's behaviour changed around May, before his 3rd Birthday, we had seemingly missed the terrible twos, but he's definitely more of a challenge now, I call him my threenager!
We're winging sleep here too, so he's had a cold and been more tired and even told me he is tired, which is unheard of he's very spirited and touchy. So I've allowed a nap some days but early in the day as in pre 1.30pm no more than 45 mins and we had some good nights, then he was at pre-school yesterday so no nap and had swimming, we were too late with bedtime even though it was only 6:45pm, he refused stories and wanted to go straight to sleep, again unheard of, you would think he would be exhausted, but woke and got out of bed at 8, 11:30, 1:55, 4:30 and woke for the day at 6:40, so pretty much like a new born. I can so relate to what you say about friends children, there is no one that I know who's kids sleep is so complex and has these issues, but you're not alone.
Looking at his sleep he's generally getting 12 hrs, I think you're right to fix BT at 6:30 and just keep with it for a few weeks, and throw in the short CN if you think it will help.

[labrodyk]

Thanks so much Hayley! There's definitely other factors at play which is making things really difficult for us but I guess we'll just have to navigate through them as best we can for now. I'm just scared of setting any habits that I won't be able to continue when baby #2 arrives any day.

My concern also at the moment is that with a 6.30 BT he's asleep in 10 minutes and wakes at 5.40 charging and singing away (so 11hours actual sleep) but lays in bed until 7.00 when his Gro clock comes up. I REALLY don't think this is enough sleep for him and I certainly don't want him up so early. Is he only ever going to sleep 11hrs and should I push for a later BT instead or are we still transitioning - it's been about 2-3 weeks now...

If he does wakeup (which is every second night or so now) he wants kisses and cuddles and to be tucked back into bed and will sleep in later but can lay for up to 2hrs after a NW to get back to sleep.

I'm just really confused.

[labrodyk]

So we've been at this no nap thing for 3-4 weeks and his behavior during the day is still horrific and ONS is less.

Yesterday we had a very bad tantrum at the park as it was after quiet time time and he was pretty overstimulated. It went on for 30 minutes and my poor cousins just stood there with their mouths open whilst I cried wondering how the hell I am going to be able to cope with him and a newborn. I'm more than a bit freaked out.
He passed out for 5 minutes as we were arriving home but was a hyperactive maniac all night and took over 30 minutes to fall asleep yet woke before 6.

We're lucky if he's getting 11hrs. He lays awake well before 6 for over an hour some days until 7.00 chatting and laughing and singing to himself very loudly. He came into our room at 6.10 wanting his water bottle refilled and started crying when I told him to go back to bed. Of course DH topped it up and he went back to talking out loud in bed.

Just at a complete loss of what to do!

[labrodyk]

The morning has started with a 30 minute scream session because I wouldn't open my eyes and get out of bed - but daddy was! Apparently that's not good enough so had to be forcibly removed from me and our bedroom where the crying continued. Where to from here?

I want to be able to enjoy this new little baby when she arrives and I'm so scared I'm just going to be a mess with H acting up and my inability to get him to sleep better...

[jessmum46]

I think still transitioning, and I think he will likely sleep more once he's settled onto no nap.  Honestly if he's that bad one day just let him nap, much better to deal with a happy child even if it means a one-off late BT and short night, at least he won't be so horribly OT the next day x

[labrodyk]

Ok, well it's really hard to know what to do but thank you SO much for helping.

Yesterday EASY was

Monday 28-Sept
WU: before 5.50
OOB: 6.10, wanting water. Lay in bed until 7.00
** massive tantrum in baby store
QT: 2.00, played until 2.20 and fell asleep sometime after that (I fell asleep too) and DH woke him at 3pm but was not happy and fell back to sleep. Finally got him up and took him to the park but he just screamed and cried because he wanted me to come too. Eventually calmed down and left.
BT: 7.00, asleep 7.30

Tuesday 29-Sept
WU: 6.30
OOB: 7.00
* 9am tantrum because dad dressed him. For an HOUR!! I did time in for over 30 minutes and still wouldn't stop screaming so I just had to let him go for it in his room and come back when he'd calmed down. He hates cuddling and nothing I try and do helps.
QT: 1.15-2.15 with iPad in his room
By 4pm he is stroppy and walks around kicking all his toys and being a nuisance.

Trying to get him fed, bathed, and into bed by 6.30

ETA: only made it to 5.57! Here's to another super early morning....

[labrodyk]

Our clocks go forward this coming weekend and I'm REALLY hoping that it will help but could be wishful thinking.

[labrodyk]

Just an update:

We've had 2 days in a row of 12hrs ONS and his mood yesterday was much better for the extra sleep. Still quite silly and acting up before bed but we moved it back to 6 again purely for our own sanity. However this morning he's woken at 5am with this pathetic whine/whinge crying before coming to my room. Took him back and tucked him in but he's wide awake. What do I do about quiet time/nap with such ER. Technically it's just shy of 11hrs but that's not long enough...

Wednesday 30-Sept
WU: 6.10 (12hrs)
OOB: 7.00
QT: 3.30-4.30 TV
BT: 6.00, asleep 6.10

NW: 3.45 crying out. Resettled by 4.00

Thursday 1-Oct
WU: 6.10
QT: 2.00-3.00 in bed w/ iPad
BT: 6.00, asleep 6.05

NW: 2.45 - shout out
NW: 4.55 - whinging crying then came to my room. Tucked back in but wide awake and doesn't appear to be going back to sleep.

[labrodyk]

So the day was okay but deteriroated after I allowed him to crash at 1.40 for about 20 minutes.

Friday 2-Oct
WU: 4.55
OOB: in and out from 6 but finally stayed in until 7.00 with a bit of sulking and crying for me to get up every 10 minutes.
Nap: 1.30, asleep 1.40 - 2.00
** mammoth meltdown after bath over DH drying and dressing him. Carried on for over 45 minutes once finally dressed over silly things to actually get him into bed and he was still sulking and crying as I tried to comfort him so he wasn't so wired. He won't let me hug or cuddle he just fixated on one silly thing with his gro clock, no books because of said behavior and wouldn't budge.
BT: 6.30, asleep 6.55

Was proud of myself for staying calm with him but I'm at the end of my rope with him and can't seem to do anything right by him