Happy Night wakings

[choc]

Thanks for the hugs. Yes dh does a lot of the nights at the weekend, I'm just so fed up of trying  to solve it and getting  no where. I can have 2 days the same and 2 totally different nights. I've read around on other sites and it seems others have a crier so can sleep train or it turns out to be a phase of a few weeks. Not 4 months with no end in sight.

[trimbler]

Do you think he could just be one who catches up lost sleep really easily, so perhaps he's done one routine one day, had a good catch-up night and then the same routine the following day resulted in a UT night? It just seems like sometimes he can do it and sometimes he's UT?

[choc]

I've no idea! I don't know anymore. And it's been a while since we had a good night so hard to remember. The 2 times he sttn he did it 2 nights in a row then went back to waking on the 3rd night. I'll bear that in mind next time we get a good night andand try to adjust rather than just repeat the day. Unfortunately we are cutting  teeth right now and he was crying  every 2 hours last night, the worst night we ever had with  him. So until he is over this I need to just hold tight.  Thanks for the food for thought.

Edited to say I just looked back over my notes and remembered that after a couple of good night's he was naturally shortening the first nap to 1hr30 instead of 2hr. So he was naturally giving himself less day sleep. But then not sttn that night?

[trimbler]

(((Hugs))) yes, medicate and hold tight for now

I wonder whether next time he does a good night, you need to lengthen that first A time, so rather than letting him go down a bit UT and then doing a slightly shorter nap and possibly then ending up OT by the end of the day, put him down a bit later in the hope of getting a long nap again and pushing the day out without getting OT? I usually find that having a bit of a mental plan helps me to feel a bit more in control of the situation, even if it doesn't immediately translate into better nights I just need to have a plan as I don't like feeling out of control even though of course with these LOs we're not in control at all - at least, not where sleep is concerned

[choc]

That's good advice about the first A time, thanks. He seems to like slightly longer than average As, am I right? He has 3hr30 first A at the moment after an hour ish night waking.
Hopefully we will get  a good night again in the not too distant future so I  can try it out.

[lily_layne]

I'm just so fed up of trying  to solve it and getting  no where.

(((Hugs))) It's so frustrating to be continually getting up at night with no end in sight.

You have done a great job of looking at your LOs sleep needs and tweaking and observing. I think it may help you just to step back for a bit instead of trying to always get the "perfect" day in hopes of getting a good night. Letting go for a bit may not fix things but it will take the pressure off of you feeling that if you just did something a little differently everything would be better. My DS had long, happy NWs for ages and I made the conscious choice not to agonize over it. I would get up, feed him (this did shorten the NW from 1h30+ to about an hour), put him down and go back to bed. If needed, I put in ear plugs and told DH to poke me if DS needed me. Even with me always feeding him when he woke, he did start STTN on his own eventually.

[choc]

Thanks Lily, I will definitely calm down a bit and let things take their course.
I have a couple of questions.
He had a good night last night and slept in til 7.30. Does that mean he should go to bed at 7.30 too instead of 7, if his naps go ok?

Also he had a good night but I chickened out of giving him a longer first A time like you suggested trimbler! I just couldn't get my head to believe he would need longer than 3hr30! Anyway it bit me in the bum because he woke happy after 1hr10, so I think you were right and I've learnt my lesson! Anyway the question is if he has a good night and then longer As and good naps does that also equal a slightly later bedtime? So he has the same amount of day sleep as normal but with more A time in the day. Maybe he would have a 12.5 hour day or 13 hour? Or have I got that completely wrong?

[trimbler]

Yay for the good night Yes it may be that he ends up with a longer day, that can work fine for some LOs during some phases. We've certainly had days ranging from 11-13h at different stages of nap transitions etc, even 10.5/13.5h for very short periods of time. I wouldn't be too surprised if he needs a slightly longer day tbh, since he seems to be getting more A time during the night, so wouldn't it be nice to get that during the day instead?

[choc]

Next time I will have the courage to give him longer after a good night. Unfortunately I got it all wrong today so no hope of another good night tonight. After the ut morning nap I got his A wrong and got a 30 min afternoon nap. So only 1hr40 total sleep today and ebt. Not good. I know what to do next time he has a good one though, longer As and therefore later bt if naps are good.

[trimbler]

just don't be too harsh on yourself after a day like today, OK? It's just another 'data point' to use in figuring out how best to help him sleep well, how can you know unless you try? So don't blame yourself

[choc]

Thanks x

[lily_layne]

I got it all wrong today

Be kind to yourself. You certainly didn't get it all wrong - you did the best you could. A wise mama on here often reminds me that all you can do is set the stage for sleep. It's up to your LO to do the rest. You are doing a great job of setting up good routines for sleep.

[choc]

So we got another 1hr15 nap this morning. 1hr15 is usually ut for us, could he really need more A time than 3h30 already? After a long nw too.
So last night and this morning was
Bt 6.50
Wu 5am on and off til 6.30
Wu 7.30am (I had to wake him die to school run)
S 11am to 12.15

Does he need another increase? We've only been on 3h30 for about 2 weeks I think.

I put him back down after school run at 3.35, he didn't drop off til 4 and still sleeping now at 5. Just letting you know incase that tells us anything?!

[lily_layne]

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about an 1h15 nap. It's fairly restorative so I wouldn't change that A time.

[choc]

Ok, it's just that I often struggle to get more than a 30/40 min afternoon nap which doesn't add up to a lot of day sleep. If he pulls a longer pm nap after it then it's not too bad although the pm nap falls too late in the day to be long.  It also means a long middle A time until his next nap after the school run but we will roll with it and see what happens.
His long night wakings seem to be turning into emw right now. The last 3 days he has woken at 5.30, 5, and today 5 10. Sometimes I can get him back to sleep, sometimes not. Last night he went to bed at 7.30 and has been awake since 5, so only 9 and a half hours sleep.