Starting fresh with 4.5mth old. Where to start?

[malibu_nikkus]

 It's time for my terrible sleeper to sleep independently. I was doing some work with shh n pat but then we went Overseas for one month and of course it was survival when it came to sleep.  By now, all my other babies were sleep trained. How do you teach an older baby? He's my cuddliest baby by far. When tired, you can put dummy in and he will go to sleep quite quickly.  Put him in a cot, he will chill out and then cry for help to go to sleep. He is very strong and wiggly, so patting is difficult but also makes him ANGRY.  I'm at a loss of where to start to train this guy, especially when he just wants to be held or fed to sleep. He also has a paci which I find a pain too. Where to start? Where to start?

[malibu_nikkus]

I no longer have the book.  I loaned it out and can't remember who to.

[malibu_nikkus]

He feeds 3.5-4hrly.  Has 3-4 short naps about 30-40mins. Sometimes I can get him to resettle but usually only for about 10mins, however, he's generally happy how much he sleeps.

[malibu_nikkus]

Hi
My 4mth old always had crappy 30min day naps.  Since jetlag has kicked in from overseas travel.  He has three 30-45min naps during the day (which he usually does). Then he is ready for bed at 6.30pm.  He then wakes hourly ALL night and is hard to resettle after about 3am.  I tend to feed when he wakes as I feel our priority is sleep.  From about midnight I bring him into bed with me, to try and increase his sleep length. In the past this would bug me a good 4hr block but even doing this I get one hour.

How do I fix my broken baby? He is miserable and usually such a happy, chilled guy. I even tried paracetamol and it did nothing.

[malibu_nikkus]

Is there a gentler approach? I got him to sleep ok, but trying to resettle him in the cot after 45min nap, he screamed and SCREAMED for 30+mins.  What do I do? I generally hold his hand or chest as he gets cranky with patting. He is screaming so much I feel like it's as bad as cry it out. He is so overtired!!!

What do I do?

[Katet]

Has he been sick at all, It might be worth getting his ears checked, my DS2 went through a stage of really horrid sleep/screaming until he passed out & after 2 nights I took him to the Dr & he had bulging ear drums, yet he hadn't even been sick or pulled at his ears on anything.

[malibu_nikkus]

Thanks Kate. I was wondering about this as he got an ear infection on the way flying. Although no temp this time around, I wonder if the flight messed his ears up again. Poor buddy

[jessmum46]

How long ago and how far did you travel?  I'll be honest it sounds like more than just jet lag....we've travelled quite a bit with large time differences and never suffered with that much waking does he have any tummy troubles, reflux, allergies?  (((Hugs)))

[Katet]

Thanks Kate. I was wondering about this as he got an ear infection on the way flying. Although no temp this time around, I wonder if the flight messed his ears up again. Poor buddy

Neither of my boys ever got temps with ear issues, we didn't even know DS1 had long term glue ear until he couldn't hear & the ENT said by the look of his ears he'd probably had issues since a baby (probably why he was a poor sleeper) & we didn't find out until he was almost 6yo.

[malibu_nikkus]

Thanks Kate. Most of my kids get infections without temps too. Will head to doc tomorrow. He's reflux is flaring up too from foods I ate on the plane, so he's spitting up lots. Gluten gives him reflux. It must've snuck in somewhere. This prob isn't helping the case for sleeping.

[Erin M]

Hi there!  Just merged a few threads together to get all the info in one place.  Hope you make out ok at the doctor!

[malibu_nikkus]

Sooo. The doc said one ear is congested. He's on antibiotics and a nasal spray.  Night sleep has improved, but day naps still shocking. I can now get him to sleep with shh n pat, but he wakes after 30mins no matter what the wake time is (he has always done this). If he seems tired, I pat like I do to put him to sleep, but he just screams and screams and refuses to go back to sleep even though he is tired and really needs to. If I don't try to pat him to sleep and just hang by the cot, he will just chill out and play with his hands or sometimes will cry until I put my hand on his chest, he then plays with my hand.  He NEVER attempts to put himself to sleep. I watch his cues carefully, but honestly, he shows very little. Maybe at 2.5hrs he will grizzle sometimes, but not often.  I recently stayed with my family who babysit babies often. They also commented that he just shows no signs of tiredness. Ugh!

[malibu_nikkus]

When he is screaming and fighting being put back to sleep, do I keep pushing it and his long for?

[jessmum46]

Honestly I would go with whatever causes the least stress!! If it winds both of you up to try to extend the nap then just go with the short naps for now. If he's happy enough on them it won't hurt him otherwise I'd set a time limit, say 10 mins, and if no sign of a resettle at that point just get him up and move on x

[malibu_nikkus]

Slight problem. He's waking every 2hrs at night, EVERY 2 HOURS! And then hourly from 4am. I'm trying hard to not feed to sleep, but honestly, nothing seems to work. From 4am, he also doesn't seem tired enough.  I wonder if he wants to drop a nap, but if so, how will that work if he only takes 30min naps?