Is there anything I can do to improve his mood?

[labrodyk]

Thanks for the reassurance and help! I know I said I'd come back in a week but oh my gosh what a few days we've had. I'm mentally exhausted.

Wed 17/12
WU: chatting 5.30. Chatting intermittently until 7
OOB: 7.00 gro clock
Nap: in bed 1.00-2.00 (woken)
BT: 7.00. Chatting. Asked for toy at 7.20. Asleep by 7.40
NW: 11.40 chatting very briefly.
NW: 2.45 soft toy return after crying for toy's name

Thurs 18/12
WU: 5.50 chatting. 6.20 screaming at top of lungs for toys. Returned and chatted until 7.
OOB: 7.00 with gro clock
Nap: in bed 1.00 (asleep by 1.15) - woke him at 2pm but it took me 10mins to get him to open his eyes for good he kept falling back asleep and clearly didn't want to wake
BT: 7.00. So much fussing, trouble leaving bedroom, calling mummy 7.14. Screaming at top of lungs and hopping out of bed. Wouldn't calm down at all, asking for pats, to lie down with him. "Mummy come back here now". At 7.30 I just stood in his doorway with my back turned waiting until he fell asleep at 7.45pm.

The clock doesn't seem to be so much of an issue anymore (still a little hesitant) but it's the getting him to his room and consequently leaving plus the NW that are horrific. He screams SO high pitched and angry. Pulling at my hair, clawing at me to stay. It's so mentally tolling.

I don't know what to do.

[jessmum46]

Lots of hugs, I would just stick with it for a while longer.  At this age you definitely don't see results in a day or two, and as we discussed before things will get worse before they get better because you are taking away his daytime sleep but it will take him time to realise he needs to add it onto his nights.  It's not easy hun but you can do this xxx

[Truly Blessed]

He screams SO high pitched and angry. Pulling at my hair, clawing at me to stay. It's so mentally tolling.

I know this is hard to take  but I am going to say something to you, only because you can't whack me over the internet

From the outside looking in, it really doesn't look so bad  Here are the reasons why:

Yes, he is EW, but he is staying in bed until 7, and even though awake that extra rest makes a huge difference.

You are achieving the nap, at the time you want to, and that is great I know it is very hard to wake a LO, especially when you are desperate for the break yourself, so well done you!!! 

He is falling asleep at a reasonable hour despite the tantrums and struggles.

All of these are positives, which are very hard to see when you're in the thick of it, I know that, trust me. The NW tend to be inevitable during these periods, so you may have to get used to that.

It is so hard when you are shattered yourself  but just stick with it Hun, and hopefully it will pay off sooner rather than later.

Lots of (HUGS)

x.

[labrodyk]

Thank you! I totally respect those positives (and I won't whack you). I am however concerned about how miserable my poor baby is - it really is terrible

I will continue with the plan but what do you make of last night's night wakings and early wake of 5.25?!

NW: 2.45-3.15. Ran into my room crying uncontrollably. Returned to bed several times then stood outside doorway until asleep (1Rtb) plus verbal reassurance. "Sleepy time now" and shushing.
NW: 5.25 Ran into my room crying. RTB x1 standing at doorway w/ verbal reassurance. 5.35 started chatting intermittently until 7.

He is of course an absolute basket case today and has cried since he got up.

I also have a family Christmas function on Sunday which we can't miss and includes heading out to show the kids the Christmas lights at 8-9pm! Is this impossible for him at this stage with only an hours sleep from 1-2 and waking early? I don't want to set us back but we can't not go....

[Buttonbobs]

I make of that EW that he's just getting used to the new pattern. I agree with pps he's just getting used to it, give him some more time

As for your weekend plans - if you absolutely can't miss it then you can't. Life is life and you have to enjoy it, just get him to bed as soon as you can and be prepared for disruption. It may impact on the 1-0 transition but probably only a day or more so of extra bumps.

Here for you xxx

[labrodyk]

Thanks for replying!! I'll stick with it, just can't believe how difficult it is! 

[Truly Blessed]

Good morning Honey, sending some (HUGS) hope today is a better day.x.

[jessmum46]

Hugs from me too.  Fwiw once I found a consistent plan for the 1-0 that I stuck to I actually found this the easiest of the nap transitions overall with DD.  Hope that gives you some encouragement xx

[labrodyk]

Thank you all so much for your hugs! Support and encouragement much appreciated. I've stuck it out a few more days. How do you think we're going? I'm confused about bedtime tonight so I'll have to just wing it.

Fri 19/12
WU: 5.35
Nap: into bed at 1.00 (asleep 1.10) - 2.00 (woken) *got out of bed screaming, hitting, kicking, biting. Returned and stood outside door with verbal reassurance.
BT: into bed at 7.00. Screamed in protest for me to return. Stood outside door with verbal reassurance, he was asleep by 7.30

** absolutely miserable and had several grand mal meltdowns. One at the shops which was horrific and I was crying too and another after bath where he held his breath (thankfully he didn't pass out).

NW: 2.30 - shout out
NW: 5.40 - shout out

Sat 20/12
WU: 6.50 chatting
Nap: into bed at 1.00 (asleep 1.15) - 2.00 (woken)
*bit of a fuss but I just used verbal reassurance from outside his door.
BT: Into bed at 7.00. Shouted mummy but not as bad as previous nights. Verbal reassurance (ssshhh sleepy time now) from outside door once in the first 5 mins then quiet. Asleep by 7.30

NW: 11.20 restless w/ cry out at 11.40. Asleep at 11.50. *could have been sooner
NW: 11.57 cry for 5 secs.

Sun 21/12
WU: 6.05 chatting until 7
Nap: into bed at 1.00 (asleep by 1.15) - 2.00 (woken) **NO FUSSING!**
BT: in bed at 9.00pm, quiet straight away. Asleep by 9.30 when I checked!!

NW: 5.30 ran into my room crying. Returned to bed in silence and he lay quietly until 7.

Mon 22/12
WU: 7.00
Nap: into bed at 1.00 (asleep by 1.15) **NO FUSSING!!** - 2.00 (woken)
BT: into bed at 7.00 and wasn't as happy going down but after about a minute he was ok and quiet until 7.30 when he started crying because his mosquito canopy had fallen down on top of him (Oops!).  I'm hoping he was asleep by 8.

NW: 3.30 cry out for a few secs

Tues 23/12
WU: didn't hear anything until 6.58! Chatting until 7
Nap: 20 MINUTE NAP!!!
Into bed at 1.08 straight from the car so no wind down spent a few minutes crying 'mum' and hopping out of bed. It was a shorter A time to nap but he was visibly tired from about 12pm. Under tired? OT? No wind down? I woke him at 2.10 so an hour of being in bed.

Absolutely no idea what to do about bedtime? What are the recommendations when doing 1-0 and they don't want to nap? How early is early bedtime?
6.30? Earlier? He probably won't tack on so it could be a super early morning...

Thank you again!!

ETA: I put him down at 6.50pm but he was calling out and up and down like a jack in the box for a good 10mins. Hoping he's asleep by 7.30. Wishful thinking though, took him almost an hour and that's with me going in at 7.20 as he'd climbed up and got the monitor and was turning the night light on and off
He's so hyperactive now I can't work out if it's UT or OT? Surely with such a short nap he would be shattered?

[labrodyk]

Also, maybe I should post this elsewhere but for the last week or so we've had a big toilet training regression. We had maybe 2 accidents when training 2 months ago and would tell us in advance for all toilet trips. Now, he's getting involved in activities (TV/iPad) or just standing in his room and weeing on the floor! Same with poo (going in his undies if I don't catch him first). He is fine at actually going 'on' the toilet when you can get him there (ie. I can more often than not take him willingly whilst at home before naps, meals, etc and whilst out he'll always happily go).
I've started a small sticker and treat reward system just to try and get back on track but is there a reason for this? I did get mad at him when he went on mum's bedroom carpet floor when I shouldn't have and I'm so upset I've scarred him   any thoughts? Is this normal and relate to any development or age thing? It's so confusing and upsetting as he was going SO incredibly well.

Ta

[Buttonbobs]

Well firstly, sleep wide it looks like you're doing really well, getting some nice long nights. I hope it was ok after the slightly shorter nap. What did you do?

With the 1-0 we did see E tacking on even when previously she never had, I think LOs just get that bit more tired at this point and can rack on even when they never have before. Having said that, he did take a nap, albeit a slightly shorter one, with my DD I probably would have gone for a similar BT bit setting up to enable slightly earlier BT just in case she couldn't cope.

Just a quick question, you mentioned above that he had a grand mal episode, is he epileptic? Or did you mean he had a really bad tantrum? I think the PT stuff sounds developmental really, with the sleep changes he may just have. Bit of a regression a bit, keep going with your usual techniques for dealing with accidents, reassuring him but reminding him where poos and wees go. If you need a bit more support on this it might be sensible to post on the PT board.

[labrodyk]

Thanks Naomi!

The later wakeup now is great but the 1pm nap doesn't seem to be working (today he just had quiet time for an hour, but no sleep). Do I just keep offering quiet time at 1pm or should I move the nap (still capping at 1hr) w/ a corresponding Bedtime? If WU is closer to 7am would 1.30-2.30 work with 7 (or 7.30?) BT? Or do I just offer at 1 and have start having some NND? I put Frozen on whilst I did some Christmas wrapping and I was surprised how well he did cope until bedtime at 7pm. I'm worried about what tonight will bring especially as we have such a big day tomorrow with Christmas and all but I guess we'll just have to wing it!

Sorry, H isn't epileptic but has considerable meltdown tantrums. Thanks for the PT reassurance - I posted in the PT board just for some extra help if things don't resplve. Much appreciated.

MERRY CHRISTMAS
Laura
x

[Buttonbobs]

I think there are probably two choices with the naps, the nap at 1 was working for you when you were getting a much earlier WU, so it seems like now he is coping with more night sleep and no nap. This is likely to be more restorative than a shorter night and later nap - as you would likely need to move BT later after a later nap.

If I were you I'd probably keep with the quiet time if he'll take it. If he dozes off on the sofa or in his room you can always let him sleep and wake him as per CN and do notmal Bt - it may be his way of self regulating. Keeping the quiet time will let you still have time to rest a bit or get things done in the middle of the day, so I'd keep it going if you can.

Re: tantrums, at this age these do happen whether an LO is tired or not, but it does depend on the child. I know we have spoken about this before on one of your threads, and I think perhaps his behaviour isn't just because of tiredness. Again, probably more suited to a post on a development board but what triggers the tantrums in the main and what do you do while he has them? Feel free to post separately about this if you feel it would help.

[labrodyk]

Happy New Year Naomi & friends!!

Well we've had a bit of a roller coaster Christmas and we're trying desperately to get back on track but hitting a few road bumps.

1. Increase in time to fall asleep at night. There's quite a few call outs and tears at bedtime at 7pm but he's quiet but is taking up to an hour to fall asleep. Mostly closer to 8pm. If he's quiet should i worry or is he too OT to fall asleep? He's very hyper after dinner/bath...

2. Waking around 5.30 and sometimes falling back asleep, other times not. Last night he woke at 5.30 and had some chats and cries on and off but he fell back asleep after about 45 mins I think as he was quiet and asleep at 7am (woke shortly after).

He hates going down at 1pm but he is exhausted, I can tell. I've been waking after 1hr but it's so mean isn't it Well I feel mean.

Just wanted to see if this is normal and I should just power through as usual?
We're off on holiday in a couple of days so I'm hesitant to make any changes as we're driving to a timezone an hour behind which will make things interesting - do you have any tips?

Many thanks,
Laura

[Buttonbobs]

1. If he's mostly quiet between 7 and sleep time this sounds more like UT to me - E can lie awake for ages absolutely silent and just when I start thinking it's "safe" to pop upstairs for something she'll call out, having been awake the whole time. She will settle eventually though.

2. If he wakes at 5.30 and self settles rear, how often do you think he's waking fully? Are you able to leave him until 7am or is he crying? This could be UT as well.

As for capping the nap, I know it does feel mean, but it isn't really. You have chosen that you would like BT to be the same, so he only option is to keep capping that nap shorter. If you still feel that it doesn't suit him then you would need to consider a later Bt.

As for the travelling, if you're not away for long, I wouldn't change too much at all. It's only an hour's difference and the journey itself (if long) might be enough to help shift his sleep to the new hour, or you may be able I keep his sleep at the same times (albeit different on the clock while you're away)

What do you think?