Support and Chat thread for moms of early waking toddlers

[rinajack]

hugs stacy.  I find it really hard when I can't soothe my babies.

yeah, it is early. Up at 3:50 to feed hugh today, he woudn't settle after the feed, then Zara got herself up at 5.  I am pretty tired, but won't be in bed too early tonight, gonna try a DF to see if not going quite so long between feeds will make hugh gulp less, and therefore less wind, and therefore not such an early start for me.  Given that we rise early, I figure I can move the DF earlier too, so aiming for 9:30.

yesterday, after her 4:30 rise, Zara did not nap til 12:45 but she slept a 9.5 hr night last night instead of an 8.5 like the night before, she woke at 5 (but I made some noise could have been my fault) - oh and her nap yesterday was 2.5...

not nearly enough sleep, and today was daycare, wonder what they managed to achieve with her LOL.

[MDHmommy]

I'm so envious of your night, Stacy!
Bed was 7:00 because he was SO tired!
He woke at 12:30 and I couldn't lie on his floor because I have hurt my neck and can barely move!! So I was only able to pat him a bit and then had to leave b/c could not even bend over crib! He cried for about 3 mins and I went in and it turned out that I interrupted his Mantra cry...but 5 mins later he was quiet and asleep...until 5:30. That's 10...and he had a 1.75 nap ... 11.75 not enough I don't think!
DH went in and lay on his floor from 5:30 until 6 - but he never went back to sleep. He was happy as a lark once he was out of bed though...he sat on our bed and drank his milk watched TV while DH and I got ready for work...and then helped reorganize all the shoes in my closet while I blow-dried my hair 
I think that the best thing for us is to a) stop lying on his floor in the v. early hours of the AM because it's confusing him during night wakes and b) suck it up that he's going to get up at the crack of dawn and pray that he grows out of this soon!

 

[rinajack]

So, after rising at 5am from a 9.5 hr night, Zara slept 2.25hrs at daycare, meltdown this evening, finally the lack of sleep caught up with her, in bed at 6, played til 6:30 LOL. 

Zara came to our bed at 4:15 (she got out of bed and walked in LOL) - best morning with her yet, she finally realised that we weren't up yet - I think when her door was shut and we went to her, she didn't realise we were still sleeping iykwim.  Anyway, she layed relatively quietly, a bit of squirming around, but didn't ask us to get up (a huge improvement) - and then fell back asleep at about 5:30am YAY!!!!!!!!!!

We decided that if Zara wants to come to our bed she can - we aren't getting up to her any more, she needs us just waaay too much.  We do have bad SA going on here again (it was really bad with me at 12 mo, now it is even worse with DH at 19mo - but she did just get a sibling too).  Anyway, this has been the easiest, calmest, quietest morning in our house for many weeks, so we are happy, and we don't mind the coming to our bed as a "prop" it is something we actually both enjoy longer term.

I guess what I am trying to say is props are ok if they are somethingyou are fully prepared to do long term, if not, dont do them.

So, I unfortunatley have been awake since about 4,  and went to bed at like 10:30 due to doing DF for hugh (but it did work, he didn't get up til 6, but was restless from 4 but self settled each time).  Things seem to be headed in the right direction!

[MDHmommy]

That's the thing, I've tried that attitude too Rina - like ok, whatever, I can live with him in our bed, etc. and it's fine for 1-2 nights, and then things just get progressively worse every night until it's crazy and we're not getting any sleep anymore. I think for Marshall, Stacy's right, just need to stop kind of helping him along as much as I have been. It's not helping him in the long run, and it's just making the short stretches of good sleep that he does have few and far between.

Sigh.

I wonder though if I just kind of roll with the early wakes for a few weeks if he'll sort it out on his own, esp. if we get him off the "need" for us in the middle of the night.

Ok, so strategy for that ... talk DH into taking turns being the morning bird...every other morning...right, we can do this!!

[rinajack]

I do agree Stacy - we have tried making Zara stay (major fight for everyone) and we have gotten up to her early.  Getting up early did not teach her to sleep in, (in fact neither did making her stay) but I find it the least stressful option.  But certainly not an option for "fixing" early wakeups.

Zara really seemed very suprised when she wandered into our room this morning, I honestly don't think she realised that we were, in fact, still sleeping when she woke each day.  I have told her a thousand times of course, but today she was like - oh, you actually use that bed??? roflmao.

About the solid foundation of independant sleep - Zara had been falling asleep independantly (aside from issues when SA got really bad at 12 mo) since 3 mo.  She has also during that time been able to resettle herself when she wanted to.  There is no pattern to her sleeping behaviour, she is just one of those kids, of this I am certain.  I have done nothing different with hugh so far, and he sleeps better than she does.

We did use ourselves as a prop during the SA at 12mo, but had to remove it, it didn't work out.  I don't think there is a problem with her sleep foundation, I am not sure about MDHmummy.

[MDHmommy]

Our sleep foundation sucks. I think that's what Stacy is referring to - she's been helping us along for oh, the past 12 mos!

You might be right Stacy - I will say this tho - last night he STN and woke at 5:50 - was happy to get up. I don't have a problem with 6am wake ups, we have to get up that early to get to daycare/work anyway, it's just the 5am stuff I can't deal with!!

[rinajack]

Oh it is a good day on this thread - Zara got up at 5am - a time we can live with also! (I am such an early bird ).

She did wake in the night asking for a drink though - but we live in a hot climate and I often need a drink in the night, so fair enough.

Yesterday - woke at 4:15,  quiet time (very quiet, laying quietly in our bed) back to sleep for 45 at 5:30. so woke about 6:15. Nap at 12, for about 1 hr 45. Didn't play for ages for once.  Seemed tired in the PM, and was really really clingy with DH, so we put her to bed at 6:30 - and she played her little heart out til 7:30.  Hard to read her in the afternoon, she cries alot, but she has really really bad SA with DH right now, so we get a bit confused.

[MDHmommy]

Had another good night/morning today too! Marshall woke once in the night, but I turned off the monitor and he worked it out! He was up for the day again at 5:50...so that's 10.5 hours of night sleep plus 2 hour nap. That's not bad.

[debo620]

ok, so this daylights savings has hit us hard, I think I can beat you all with a 4am wake-up, both Monday and I think today.

so Monday he woke at 4am, calling for us at 6am and out of crib at 6:30. (was alseep at the new 7pm Sunday night)
had a 10min catnap at 9:15 (didn't see any other option)
back to sleep at 11:45 until 2:20(that was MIL)
fast asleep at 7

woke at 3:30 and fussed off and on until 5 but settled himself
slept til 7:15 tues yeh! so about 10.5
napped 12:15-2 talked and he may have gone back to sleep, went and got him 2:20, I thought this was pretty good considering the night waking.
asleep by 7:30pm


cried out at 4am, and then I'm not sure, I heard alot of movement I think. talking by 5:15 and wanting up at 5:45, kept hm in his room with a lot of complaining and me trying to pretend to sleep on his floor until 7:00am.

not to sure what the day will bring but I am aiming to have his nap done by 2pm (or earlier)
so that he will be asleep by about 7pm.

I am seriously wishing I lived in Saskatchewan, the only ones smart enough not to adjust the clock.

[rinajack]

OK - yesterday she was a bit of a bear, and I let her have two naps.  disaster she has been up since 4:30 today.  She did come into bed and lay quietly til 5:15 though. Oh but she did not play to sleep for as long, so it certainly may have helped some with OT issues.

I am wrecked today because we also have been trying to DF hugh, and the last two nights I still had to do a NF anyway, so definitely not doing one tonight!

[MDHmommy]

Hi! Hope everyone's doing better. My strategy of just riding it out worked...we're back on track with naps, bedtime and wake up time has been 6/615 pretty consistently for about a week. Hope you guys are all doing well too!

[rinajack]

back to sleeping til approx 5:30 (normal here).  But via a later bedtime. 9.5ish night, 1.5ish nap.  Naps are a struggle and with such a short night I am wondering if it is worth persevering with the nap...

[debo620]

wow Rina, are you sure that is enough sleep for her? there is absolutely NO WAY Noah would do well on those hours......he is OT right now due to the time change and it makes achieving GOOD sleep difficult----is thats whats happening to Zara?

[Elimc]

Hi our 2 year old spirited LO is waking 5.30 every morning lately, our LO has a history of multiple nite wakings and early waking and we go through good and bad patches sleep wise (more bad than good unfortunately)  Things have improved in terms of the nite wakings she now only wakes once at nite usually between 1 and 2am and goes back to bed relatively easily, her current day routine is she takes a nap round 1ish for 2 hours and goes to bed with no protest at 7.15 for the nite. Our latest difficulty is that come half five she is up for the morning and I would like to get it up to half 6 at least Any suggestions would be appreciated,

[rinajack]

Deb - It sounds unbelievable to me too. But we didn't have a time change where we live.  I decided to give napping a break and go for quiet time, and she has napped each day, but short naps.  After those short naps (and I am talking less than 1 hour) she has slept through and done longer nights, we are back up over 10 hours so far, and they are increasing, so I am going to continue to try this approach for a while.  If nothing else, both of us are much more relaxed becuase there is a 1+ hour long fight no longer a part of our day.

Wish me luck.  I do find it incredible, but I have to try something, nothing else in our life had changed when she started all this trouble!