Working moms/mums - come share tips and get support too! #2

[lidiayy]

Hi,

Yes, I'm a little confused too... We  went to see the doctor yesterday so as to check her weight and also to get some instructions regarding her feeds while at daycare. I told him that I've been stockpiling my milk since Mid-May and guess what: he said I should only keep frozen milk for 15 days! I've read that this is true for frozen milk stored in freezer compartment inside refrigerator but he insisted that even for self contained freezer this is the maximum one could keep frozen milk.    I called a local human milk bank and they confirmed.

I felt like all the work done so far was stupidity...   

Maybe they said that due to this changes in milk composition? Or just because they can't guarantee that milk will not go off even at very low temperature? Never know... But I'm not going to throw out my milk. 

[clh]

I've never heard of the 15 days for a self-contained freezer.  I've used mine months later, & all was fine.  (The stuff I thawed for use today was pumped at the end of January!)  Maybe post a separate thread in the main bf'ing board regarding this issue?  I've posted links to what I know.  You might get a wider response from the general bf community. 

[lidiayy]

Hi Candice,

I googled it and found that Brazilian Health Department was responsible for this information. I found out also that it's a conservative thinking as it's not common for women to pump / extract milk here. All the scientific reports referring to 3-4 months are related to experiments done in US, Europe - places with different climate conditions when comparred to Brazil's, that's why they mention not to keep it longer than 15 days.    Besides, as Brazil is a country with, unfortunately, lots of people with lack of education, they can't guarantee that every mom will be able to express milk in good hygiene conditions.

Anyways, it's been hard enough to deal with the separation anxiety and all that comes with it so I won't suffer any more. I'm going to give her my milk. The doctor wasn't against giving my 'old' milk to DD as he trust my info about longer storage time, so I'll just do it and that's it. 

[clh]

Good for you, Lidia!  You sound so confident.    That's those mommy instincts kicking in!    You know, we all take in information from all over the place (here, friends, family, doctors, internet research, books) and take what we need to do what's right for our particular families.    Glad to hear you have an understanding doctor.  That's great!  I'd think as long as power stays on & the freezer is at a proper temp, you'd be OK. 

[jessiecat]

Hi again everyone,
as you've been so helpful on the topic of freezing I'm going to bombard you with another couple of question about going back to work. Hope you don't mind and thanks in advance for the help and support.
 Firstly, I'm currently pondering the issue of when to put my lo in her own room. The advice here is that they stay in your room for the first 6 months. She'll hit the 6 month mark just before I go back to work and she starts nursery. My DH and I are happy to keep her in our room for longer than the 6 months but we don't want to cause probs by keeping her with us too long. Any ideas?
 Secondly, how can I help prepare my DD for the massive change in daily life that will occur when I go back. My DH and I are both teachers and he'll soon be off school for the summer holiday. Just as my LO will be getting used to having us both around she'll be put into nursery for 4 days a week. I have to admit even though it is weeks away I'm already fretting and have been for awhile

[Omy]

Hi Jessiecat, I love your pic of your LO. I am in a similar position to you - LO is also 5 months old and excl BF and I will be returning to work at the end of August (also a teacher!). Re preparation - will your nursery let you come in the week before and spend some of each day there with LO? I too was thinking of BF morning and night and FF during the day but this thread has made me consider expressing at work...Usually am too busy even to eat lunch at work let alone express milk!!

[lidiayy]

Jessiecat - Sorry I have no answers to your questions...   DD has been sleeping in her room from the first day. But IMHO, I would try to put her in her own bedroom because if you go longer than 6 mo, she is can suffer from SA. How is your bath and bedtime routine?
As for the prep, I think it's important to have a week before she starts for you both to go there and show her that she'll be safe and you'll come back to pick her up. At least, this is what I'm going to do next week. I'll stay with her for some hours starting next monday. I'll post later with my personal experience, ok? 

Omy - welcome to this board. As you may have read, I'll have to find a way to pump during the day to avoid dipping my milk supply. Do what's best for you and your LO. She/He will be fine with you BF'ing morning and night if it's what you can do for her/him! 

HTH

Lidia

[jessiecat]

Hi Omy, your little one's pic is a cutie too The nursery has encouraged us to do some practice sessions before the big day when I go back to work but I'm not meant to stay with her I've only ever left her a couple of times since she was born and that was either with my DH or my mum so this seems like a huge step.
I know what you mean about being too busy to express at work as a teacher there always seems to be a hundred and one things to do. I've started stockpiling milk and I'll try to express once a day at home too. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my supply will be ok and my body will adapt to the change in demand. This week I've started giving her a bottle of formula for one of the feeds she'll have when she goes to nursery. I'm expressing at that point and freezing. Hopefully I can keep it to one bottle of formula a day at nursery for a couple of months at least.

Lidia - I'm looking forward to hearing how you and your lo adapt to nursery. It is nice to be able to chat with other mums going through the same stuff. This site is a life saver
Our bedtime routine has been really good until the last week suddenly it has all gone a bit pear shaped. Usually we give her a bath at around 6.15, get her dressed in her pjs and sing her twinkle twinkle before putting her in her cradle and using shush/pat when necessary. This week she's become really agitated by the shush/patting and so we're having to use pu/pd when she won't self soothe During the day she is starting to self soothe for naps but at night no such luck and it has been really traumatic She's been really clingy this week too but I think the problem might be that she's been coming down with a cold. She spent all last night snuffling away and just isn't her chirpy spirited self today. Hopefully when she's feeling better everything will settle back down but she's got her 3rd set of immunisations next week so that's sure to set everything on its head again. Oh and on top of moving to her own room at some point soon she has to move from her cradle to a cot There's always something isn't there?
 Forgive my ignorance but what is SA?

[lidiayy]

Hi Jessiecat.

No doubt this website is a life saver... Even if you don't find answers to your questions, at least there always be someone to support you and give encouragement. 

Sorry that your LO is becoming sick, hope she get over soon. I think the type of injections that most LO take around the world differs a lot because I've seen in other posts about LOs suffering after shots and mine has never noticed it! She obviously cries when the nurse inserts the needle, but not more than that. Maybe I'm lucky? 

Although we have a lot to deal with, it's amazing to be mom, don't you think so?

As for 'SA' it's separation anxiety. In this case, the LO missing mom. I don't know too much about it, just that it's supposed to happen at 7 mo or so. But not every LO suffers from it. Which BW book do you have?

Hugs!

Lidia

[jessiecat]

Hi Lidia,
So far my DD has been fairly good with the injections. Yes there were tears at the time but no horrible reactions however, it does throw her off her routine for a day or two. Mind you I think she rarely manages a day without one element of her routine going awry.

The book we've been using is 'The Baby Whisperer Solves all your problems' and while it isn't quite accurate that she's solved all our problems she has certainly given us a helping hand and is referred to most days. We'd be finding it difficult to cope without. I never thought I'd be the kind of person to recommend a book like BW so strongly but I can't help myself and even my DH has directed a friend of his in its direction.

You are right being a mum is amazing. Each day there seems to be something new to watch with wonder and awe - even if it is only my lo finding her toes or sleeping for a full 2 hours And who would have thought the contents of a nappy could be quite so interesting

I've read about separation anxiety and am dreading it. She's going to hit 7mo just after I go back to work The guilt is already building.
Do you think I could wait until after the SA disappears before moving her to her own room  or am I just being a really big scardy cat and avoiding doing what's best because it is difficult?

Anyway I appreciate the support, advice and the simple chat. Thanks!

[Omy]

Hi Lidia thanks for the welcome! Jessiecat - I hope your little one recovers soon - it may be teething symptoms. re moving to her own room - you have to do what you feel is right for you - I know some people who have slept in the same room as their 2 kids for 10 years! And my first DD was 3 before she slept all night in her own room! Now I am on 3rd DD I am much tougher! LO is in her own room but it is literally the other side of my bedroom wall and both doors are open so I am not very far away from her. You must have a big cradle if she is still fitting into it!

[lidiayy]

Hi girls,

Jessiecat - I second what Omy said about moving your LO to her own room. I know it will be lots of changes to her so do what best suits you, your DH and your LO. I think they (LOs) give us lots of clues to find answers to our questions. Maybe try one night, see what happens, then gradually move her?  Just a thought. 

Today it was the first time I gave DD a bottle. I live in Brazil and we can't find Breastflow bottles in here so I asked BIL to bring me from the US. I first tried the stage 1 nipple and DD got around 1 1/2 Oz and fed up... I ended up giving her the breast, not sure if I should have, though.  Later, I tried using the stage 2 nipple and she got around 3 Oz and started fussing again. DH told me to give her the breast, and I gave in... Should I have insisted more?
Did I make a mistake in doing her the breast?

I'm very confused and DH says that we shouldn't push too hard on DD as she is too young, but I won't be there to offer the breast if she doesn't take the bottle. What should I do?

thanks

Lidia

[jessiecat]

Hi all,
Thanks for all the support and advice. I think I'm going to start putting my lo down for some of her naps in her own room and see how she goes. It should give her a chance to get used to her room etc I keep telling myself I've got six weeks before I'm back to work so I've got time to help her make the transition. Hopefully she'll love it and want to be there instead of in our room
Oh and on a positive note I tried my lo with defrosted milk again and she didn't have a problem with it this time Let the stockpiling commence!

Lidia,
Hugs! I found it really upsetting when I first gave my DD a bottle and I was lucky she took it without a problem. How much does she usually take at a feed? It sounds like for her first time with a bottle she did well. She didn't refuse completely and I know of babies that have. How long is it before she will have to take the bottle because you won't be there?

[lidiayy]

Hi Jessiecat - you're right to put her to sleep in her own room at nap time. If she has any problem (which I think she won't) you can be there for her and will not be sleep deprived.  Good to hear that she accepted the defrosted milk without problems!

I'll be back to work (full time) next 28th, but this week she'll be staying for herself at the daycare starting tomorrow. I'll go with her the first 3 days for short periods. Gradually, this amount of time is extended that on Friday, she'll be there the whole day. So I needed her to take the bottle until.... tomorrow!!    We didn't start this process before because the pedi said it wasn't recommended, now I'm not sure if it was the best decision.
I don't know for sure how much she drinks as I have never given her a bottle. I can pump around 3-4Oz but it's just an idea of the yield. She eats for 10-12 minutes, but I think we've been through a GS because she's taking 15-18 minutes per feed...

Will try again today so let's see how we go. I'll let you know.
Thanks for the hugs.

Lidia

[jessiecat]

Hi Lidia - you can only make decisions based on the advice you're given. If the pedi didn't recomend  a bottle you pretty much had to follow their advice.
If it is any help I can pump about 6oz and my lo takes approx 10-15mins a feed. When she takes a bottle of formula she manages approx 4-5oz (although today she only managed 2oz ) the formula packet suggests at her age she should be taking a 7oz bottle. She never seems overly hungry after the formula, still lasts 4hrs till her next feed and is continuing to put weight on steadily. I think your lo will be fine. I look forward to hearing about how well it goes at nursery and with the feeds