3.5 mo NWs and short naps

[brenda2]

Yeah, most of the nights when I get no sleep it's because I've laid awake listening to her fuss or waiting for her to wake up or wondering if she's going to wake up in an hour. It really screws up your ability to sleep, these Nws

[~Sara~]

It sounds like things are improving with the naps...even just a small victory *is* a victory

I sooo know what you mean re: being on pins and needles, holding your breath, and being unable to relax when your LO is sleeping...all because you're waiting for them to wake up again.  I think I have the same monitor as you do, Brenda.  I love that I don't have to hear static all the time!  But, it also makes me a bit anxious to know that at any time, I might hear a wail come out of the thing!  LOL!

It sounds like you both are doing the right thing when your LOs wake up...giving them a chance to resettle themselves.  It's SO hard to just leave them be sometimes, especially when you want to speed the process up so that YOU can get back to sleep, too.  I think it's just something that we have to let them do and we just go along for the ride for a while until they're independent sleepers.  I'm having to learn this lesson anew pretty much every day right now

How are the naps going today??

[~Lori~]

just down for our first nap of the day, so not sure how it will go...

I have a ?....our night was kind of weird last night, and let me know what you think...

Last feed at 7:30, asleep by 8:50.  He woke up at 11:00!!  I REALLY didn't want to feed him since it only was 3.5 hrs, and really, I KNOW he can go longer b/w feeds.  So I left him to fuss for a bit.  It was off/on/off/on for 1 hr!!  I finally went in there, dug out the miracle blanket and re-swaddled him(was just swaddled in a regular blanket with 1 arm out) and put him down (without feeding)...I didn't feed him, b/c when I went in there to reswaddle him he starts smiling and cooing and talking to me...not looking or acting hungry at all.  So why is he waking up if he is not hungry and taking so long to go back down??? 

After I swaddled him in the miracle blanket, he was asleep by 12:30...and slept til 5:50!!!  At this point, DH got up to give him a bottle (I had put 2 earplugs in, I haven't gotten more than 3hrs sleep a night in a week).  However, DH fed him 5.5oz...usually if DS wakes up that late, I try to just give him a little bit.  Needless to say, when I got him up this morning, he would NOT eat.  Kept trying.  What would you do if he wouldn't eat at his wake up?  keep trying, or just wait til the next 3.5 hr mark?

I gues I'm wondering if I should be doing anything else....the long awake times in the night are so hard.  Should I have fed him at 11 when he wasn't settling, just to see if he could get back down longer?  I'm almost wondering if we should bring back the DF even though he wasn't consistent with how much he'd eat.  Sigh...

[brenda2]

I really thnk the long awake times at night means he's not awake long enough during the day. I would go to a 4 hour routine.  He's past 4 mo so really the 3.5 hour routine is to transition when they're not 4 mo yet. Sometimes the increase inA times needed can happen quickly for them. I would increase A time and aim to feed at 4 hours even if this means he has A after he wakes up EASAE or has 2 short naps before a feed EASAS. Kwim?

I think you did the right thing last night. We had a similar problem last night. Fed at 6, asleep by 6:30. Woke at 10:30 screaming so I fed her, took a full feed. Woke at 2 and I patted back to sleep. Woke at 4 and I fed her she took a full feed but in hindsight I should have only offered a half feed. Slept until 7:15. Yes almost a 13 hour night for her! Wouldn't take a full feed at 7:30 but did take half and lasted 4 hours to her next feed

naps are another story, only did a short nap and got back down for an extra 20 min but she still doesn't look tired! Hard to judge A times when they do a short nap, fall back tosleep for 20 min on and off...not seeing many sleepy signs here!

[~Lori~]

yes, sleepy signs???  what are those?  ONLY see them in the morning....if we don't get a long am nap, then it's OT the rest of the day.

So, Tanner's feed at 5:50am was his last one until 11am!!!  I tried to feed when he got up, I even tried to feed an hour later, wouldn't eat at all, not even a suck or anything.  However, at 11am he took a nice long feed. I think I am going to do a combo of 3.5-4 hr EASY over the next few days, as we've just started more or less the 3.5 hr, and then hopefully be 4 hr next week.  I guess my fear is this:  eating LESS feeds during the day, doesn't that mean needing more in the night?  Or because they are spaced further apart, they eat more at those feeds?

You'd swear I was a first time mom...lol

Yes, I know he needs to have more A time.  A month ago we were at 1hr10min, seriously.  So today we've been at 1hr50 and he took a good first nap with that.  I'm trying to find the balance between, "keep up longer" or "risk Overtiredness from being up too long".  I have to watch the clock CONSTANTLY.  It's amazing how different each kid is, b/c I never really watched the clock with Sophie, but with Tanner, I have to or it's a mess.

Yay for a 13 hr night!!

[brenda2]

They take in more at each feed so even though you are dropping a feed he should get either the same amount or more in a 12 hour day. By spacing out feeds during the day they won't expect to eat as frequently at night

naps today are weird:
7:15 awake and E
9:15-10 s
10:20-10:40 on and off s with my hand on her back
11:15 E
12:25-1:10 S
1:20-1:50 on and off s with my hand on her back
now I don't know what to do she seems cranky but it's a long time to the next feed time

oh boy

[lilac83]

Do you think after a 13hr night that she could have handled a bit more than 2hr A time this morning? Or did she seem pretty tired when you laid her down? It seems your DD may be doing what mine did (does). There are no reliable tired cues, never have been. When she was a newborn and she was tired she just passed out wherever she was. As she got older, she would keep herself awake until I figured she should be ready to go down for nap. Also, I was constantly "chasing" A times because she was ahead for her age. Does that sound about accurate for your DD?

[brenda2]

It sounds exactly like her actually. I am always lying her down wide awake and she puts herself to sleep. Usually she does not look tired but sometimes she cries which I think means she is tired or possibly OT.  I do think shecould have gone longer this morning

the rest of the day was like this:
she was Cranky after the dis ontinuous nap soi put her back down
2:30-3:25 s woke her as it was feeding time
3:30 e
5:30-6 s woke her up she took a long time to fall asleep for this nap
6:45 e
7:15 bed

weird day for naps and none of them were long unless you count me sitting in there for 45 min after she woke up patting her back every few minutes so she would stay asleep

maybe longer A times would help this short nap business?

[~Lori~]

Brenda, maybe longer A time.  We are working on adding A time.  My guy has always been on the lower end, but we made it to 1hr50 today and he slept a 1.35 nap, a 1.50 nap and a 50 min nap.  WAY better than normal.  I also can't go by cues.  Yawns at 45 minutes, rubbing eyes at 55 minutes, lol...I'm a clock watcher!  When you are in your baby's room so long during naps, what does your oldest do??  I have a 3 year old and in the beginning I felt I was in DS's room ALL DAY LONG b/c of naps.  That's one reason I used the paci b/c it was so hard for me to be in there so much. 

[brenda2]

Yesterday I was able to spend some time trying to extend dd2 nap because dd1 was at daycare. I don't spend that long in there usually if Avery is home with me unless she is napping  usually if dd2 wakes early I try for 10 min and if it doesn't work I just get her up. Avery is pretty good at entertaining herself or watching tv but not for hours or anything.
Last night was not so good. In bed at7:15, Up at 1 for E, then 3:30 shh pat back down, 4 shh pat, 5:30 I fed her and up at 7:15 exactly 2 hour night but didn't want to eat. I think she only needs 1 overnight feed...now has been awake 2 hours and does not look tired at all.  She is happily kicking on the floor while Avery climbs all over her.  I know if I put her down she will go to sleep but I just don't know what her A time should be to get a long nap. I thinker will try slightly longer today and see. 

[~Lori~]

What has your A time typically been, has it been 2hrs?  I find that I have to take Tanner out of the room where Sophie is at around 1hr35 min (A time of 1hr50) and just be calm with him, otherwise he'd stay up for hours playing with Sophie...he is so enthralled with her and she is in his face the whole time.    I would say he's probably ready for 1 overnight feed if she's not wanting to eat in the morning.

Our night was better!  Sleeping by 7:50, awake at 1:50 to eat.  Back down by 2:30 (had to change him as he peed through his clothes).  Up at 6, DH gave paci a few times and sleeping by 6:20.  I got him up at 7:30 as we had plans for later in the morning and wanted him to get his nap in.  He took a 1hr20 min nap, but woke up crying and sensitive.  He just had a 35 min one that I "hopefully" was able to extend...he's been quiet for 10 min, peeked in on him and he is sleeping.  Not sure for how long though!

[brenda2]

Well today naps have been better so far.
7:15 E
9:20-10:50 S
10:50 E
1:10-2:05 S (put her down at 1:50 but it took her 20 min to fall asleep)
2:15-2:40 S able to extend a little bit
2:45 E

that was a really long A I don't knowwhat to think. She wS doing about 2 hours but with so manyshort  naps A was all over the place. Usually between 1.5-2 hours

[lilac83]

It looks like for morning A, 2hrs works good. I think I remember seeing other good morning naps after about 2hr in your previous posts. So, if her A time extends as the day goes on, I wouldn't be surprised to see her doing 2hr 15min for her next A.

Around here, if DD was playing fine and then melted down when I started wind down, it meant UT. If I persisted to get her to sleep, she would take a UT 45min to 1hr nap. If I got her up, calmed her down and did low key stuff for an additional 15min, then she would go to sleep easily and usually sleep over 1hr.

[brenda2]

Well...she sttn!!!
put her to bed at 7:15 and she woke up at 12 and 2 but put herself back to sleep without me going into her room and woke up at 6!! I fed her and she went back to sleep until 7:30. So 11 hours without food.
I think it was the longer A and letting her fuss more that did it. Will try for same A of 2 hours then 2:15 again today
yay! And knock wood that it happens again

[~Lori~]

AWESOME Brenda!!!  That is soooo wonderful and I'm so happy that she slept so well and put herself to sleep!  I bet she was HUNGRY in the morning!  When she woke at 12 and 2, did she fuss long?

We had a better night...asleep by 7:50, awake at 2:30 to eat, awake for the day at 7:30!  This was our best night in forever.  I SERIOUSLY attribute it to longer A times, as we've bumped it up this past week.  We are almost at 2 hrs.