NWs+EWs+bad routine+co-sleeping *Can I have a little more advice(March)*?

[anna*]

Charli for some weird reason the word spelled 'em ay are kay' is censored... don't understand it - but when you see 'oops' you know what it means!

[koe2moe]

some hugzzz for you and i'm reading along.  too tired to type more now.. back later and good luck

[Roseii]

Anna-how weird! Didn't think I was being rude using that word 

Londonmama thanks so much for the suggestions, that is exactly what I need because I don't seem to have a clue how to time her A and S times...But then she will go through a random spell of sleeping well so I think I have cracked it, then it all goes to pot, so frustrating! I am so hesistant about trying 7pm bedtime because it has always resulted in 5am wake-up...If I did try it I am tempted to risk slightly more than 3 hours A time between nap and bed...??

Thanks for the hugs koe2moe

So last night was like this:

S 8pm approx

A 9.10pm, literally walked in, gave her dummy, walked out

A 10.30pm approx 10 mins to settle APing

A 1am approx 10 mins to settle APing

A 3am approx 10 mins to settle APing

A 6am, had to get up as at work today

So the frequency is still quite bad, it really tires me out. Fortunately she is lying down as soon as I get to her cot, I just have to stay with her til she is properly asleep...It's clearly an issue with settling independently isn't it?? Coupled with a bad routine...

This morning she slept on the way to MIL's 7.15-7.45am so hopefully that will set her up a bit if it's quite late before she takes a nap today.

Please not so many NWs tonight!!!!!!!!

Do you think I can "cure" these NWs eventually?! I can't bear the thought of dealing with 2 babies at all hours of the night...

Thanks so much for your continued support 

[anna*]

You can totally cure the NWs. At the moment, she's waking because she can't get back to sleep without you there. Once you've taught her to settle independently, when she wakes in the night she will just roll over and go back to sleep.

[Shiv52]

Agree with Anna.  Its the initially falling to sleep is our issue as we've got into a bad habit of her expecting us to be there with her.  When/if she wakes in the night she does just find her dummy herself or half the time just turns over and goes back to sleep.

Maeve sleeps about anywhere from 2-3 hours during the day although we've been on one nap from about a year.  I am in the process of cutting the nap down as I find anything beyond 2.5 and bedtime is a nightmare and I want to be sure she is definately tired and wound down enough if I'm doing WI/WO (thanks Anna by the way for your clear explanation...I was a bit unsure about whether you wait until they stop crying before you leave but your explanation is excellent xx).

Have you decided when you are going to start WI/WO yet? 

[Roseii]

Yes Anna's explanation really is great, well done Anna

Shiv we are in exactly the same boat except we have never mastered independent sleep at all. It was a huge step for us that at 13m I stopped rocking her to sleep and put her in her cot awake! I do often hear her stirring and settling herself and she can find the dummy no probs, but then 2-4 times a night she just needs that re-assurance that I will go into the room. Really need to move onwards and upwards now. Very proud that we managed to ditch the bottles before she turned 16m as my "goal" was 18m, so now I think I will set 18m as my goal to conquer independent settling! That way I might get a month or so good sleep before I am so heavily pg I can't sleep anyway!!

Wow 2-3 hour nap would be a dream I am hoping that if I can conquer the settling issue she might naturally be able to sleep longer in the day...I think I would prefer her to be on one good nap than two not-so-good naps.

Erm haven't quite got round to deciding a date for WI/WO commencement...I am very good at coming up with reasons that I shouldn't start tonight etc...Have you started Shiv??

x

[anna*]

Don't make bedtime your first time, start with nap 1 on a new day. New day new way. That way she's got two chances at WIWO 'practise' before bedtime, and should (maybe, hopefully) be getting the hang of it by the time the NWs come around.

[Roseii]

Ah Ok, I started with night time when I started GW, makes sense to start in the day though, I *might* have more patience too! ta x

[anna*]

Tomorrow!!

[Roseii]

heehee well I have guests over for lunch tomorrow, do you think that's appropriate entertainment?! 

[anna*]

LOL they can keep the tally for you

[Roseii]

Oops just remembered I have a question.
Since I have been putting her down awake I have never physically laid her down, I just tell her to lie down. I think this only works as I am crouched next to her cot so if she wants to be near me she has to lie down iyswim...
So do you think I should start "making" her lie down when I start WIWO?
Thank you

[anna*]

I would lie her down gently with a little kiss on the forehead, saying 'Lie down now baby it's time to sleep' (or similar to your key sleep phrase)

[Roseii]

Ok I will try that, thank you so much. DH just told me he's in tonight, I thought he was going to be at football, so I am going to print out your WIWO explanation and make him read it so he can decide for def that he is on board, not argue that it's the wrong way to go about things once I/we have started!! x

[Shiv52]

We're starting tomorrow!  Going to start with our nap.  We go to music at the library in the morning so she's usually wrecked by the time we get home and get lunch.  But I am expecting a lot of crying.  Earlier when I moved the chair further away she shouted 'chair back here' so I know she thinks one of us sitting here is a part of her going to sleep. 

Hope you get started soon and DH is on board!