We have reached that 'age' where BF can be an awkward topic :(

[ZacsMumme]

Quote from: trimbler on Today at 01:05:53
for all those who don't see the reason for continuing, can they actually give a good reason for stopping??

^^^ This.   I would be very tempted to simply ask why they are so concerned that you stop BFing Z... it's between the two of you and no one else.

Good point ladies...but its hard to say that to DH aunties - and I'm trying not to be mean but they are from a small town in the whops and are all relatively uneducated and out of touch really (opps)

Or some people did say that I BF M because he is a boy hinting at some wierdness.

wow, that is mean and odd!

unless it was a friend I knew would be supportive. It's really nobody's business, when you get right down to it.

You are totally right Deb. Isn't this funny though - people THINK it IS their business. 

[katyusha]

I guess people make judgements of all kinds for all sorts of reasons. Like some think that extended nursing is: mum's desire to cling on to babyhood of her LO, or some desire to be needed, not helping the child to adjust to independence, a form of chosen martirdom and so on. DH used to ask me a lot about weaning. He seems to feel better these 2 weeks because: 1) I was working some late nights and he put the kids to bed and gave M a formula sucessfully, so his mind is at rest that in my absence he can cope; 2) he tried M's porridge by accident and nearly gagged from its taste. (He never tried my breastmilk but he is certain it would taste better to M than that formula).

[LouiseV]

Oh I'm stoked to see this post! I've been wondering why I'm getting sideways looks when I mention I still feed my LO (who is only just 12 months!)

Er...even if I WANTED to stop (and I'm impartial either way....he's not ready yet which is fine with me) it's not only up to me - there's no WAY he'd give up that BT feed (or the NW feeds haha) at the moment!!

My MIL suggested I switch to juice and I might have to go away for a week to "get him off me". I just don't get it!! He's not some leech! He's still a baby!! I've recently taken him off dairy as an experiement and the amount of people who said I'd have to give him soy....I just thought I'd up the BFs from 1 or 2 to 3!

And as for a weight loss plan is there any better!?

[Katet]

Given this thread was started by a Kiwi... you may already have seen/heard this - an interesting read... think it might take things a bit too far the other way.

http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/see-controversial-photo-dad-bottle-feeding-baby-does-155510760.html?fb_action_ids=10150793192254155&fb_action_types=news.reads&fb_source=other_multiline&code=AQD91Azz5crzb9tj42S1zdcVutU6F1Ug5SQac2p_ouzbGi3O0o0WlVjjUmb7ZvZ7UYseQHeAJB8z2HvRoUQ5UzVmhfuysOZ3J-dgOxg4oXO5l8S_YeYgsn4wc0sa9aB7_a8NA87bc_u0-REHetaHKmhIaZFNhXZcH8zcTCyFP8CngoQ6Q5efE6CTBeSVRAoTuPw#_=_

[ZacsMumme]

yup this was a huge deal here. Plunket and LLL went nuts. It was ridiculous and then all over the news both ways
Dont get me wrong, I am not pro BF anti Bottle, I just believe in personal choice. BF is meant to be one of the most natural things in nature and as you see in the article - supported fiercely by groups. However, it is so frustrating when you are made to feel like what you are doing is un-natural, or the result of a complex of your own rather than what is best for the child. - rant over

[tigerlilly905]

I would just try and keep the facts straight for people. Unfortunately a lot of those types of comments come from ignorance.  The fact that the WHO suggests Bf'ing for a MINIMUM of 2 years speaks volumes.  Also, it helps me to know that the world wide average for weaning is actually 4 years old. (not maximum, but average... so think of how many nurslings are bf'ing longer then 4)  I loved this article "Extended Breastfeeding Myths": http://www.mommypotamus.com/extended-breastfeeding-myth-1/  Lots of great info to share. Educating others I find helps to break the stigma of it all.

However, it is so frustrating when you are made to feel like what you are doing is un-natural, or the result of a complex of your own rather than what is best for the child. - rant over

THIS^^^ I get... Heck, I'm nursing my now 24 month old AND my 11 month old. It's so hard for people to understand when they have been conditioned to think otherwise. Really, what you are doing is the MOST natural thing you can do for your child.

Congrats on bf'ing so long, btw!! You're doing an amazing thing! xo

[Erin M]

Hmmm....offer up a taste test of BM vs formula and see which one they'd prefer? 

(((hugs))), sorry you have to deal with this!  Just be confident you're doing a good thing! 

[my3girlsjde]

I thought of this thread all day esp when I cuddled with E before bed. Typical bedtime cuddle with her face smushed against me and hand on my bb. I love it and so does she. I can't begin to explain how rewarding and enriching it is to see those little eyes roll back in her head as she does that and she did the exact same thing when she had her bt bf not so long ago. If there's anything that parenting has taught me yet, it's that my gut is usually right. And my gut says she needs those cuddles and I well imagine she would still be bfing with no signs of stopping if it weren't for circumstances out of our control. I think we both miss it and in that sense I think we both need that contact. Is the contact between mother and child while bfing past a year not worth exploring? And after trying all forms of formula including HAF, I know what I would rather have.

I guess what I'm saying is that maybe if these people who judge were better educated and more supported themselves they would in turn support the extended bf choice more. I will say though that my next child if I have one would be bf'd to at least two years if possible.

And to those who would suggest that it makes them clingy, I would hazard a guess that those people don't get temperament anyhow. The child I bf'd the longest is the least clingy of the works of them

[ZacsMumme]

aww thanks ladies.

Typical bedtime cuddle with her face smushed against me and hand on my bb. I love it and so does she. I can't begin to explain how rewarding and enriching it is to see those little eyes roll back in her head as she does that and she did the exact same thing when she had her bt bf not so long ago. If there's anything that parenting has taught me yet, it's that my gut is usually right.

^^ So true lol smushy face and hand on BB so cute! Im pretty sure its Z's fav part of the day and we were planning on moving his BT feed, but I just dont want to. He STTN and he knows he gets a story after and then BT and It just felt wrong to be moving it because I felt I should KWIM? - I know slightly off topic, but its the same thing I guess. What feels right for you and your LO vs what you sometimes feel is 'best' - which comes from absolutely nowhere or nothing that has any weight whatsoever!

[Fiver]

The child I bf'd the longest is the least clingy of the works of them Smiley

Totally agree, Vicki.  I've BF DD longer now than I BF DS and I also "wear" her as well.  So many people think that that develops clinginess, but if we're at a group (even in a strange place) she's more than happy to wander off on her own and leave me to whatever!  We had to leave her briefly in a creche for DS's school parent consultation evening and she was as happy as Larry when we go back, even though she'd never seen the person caring for her before.

If BF for any length of time is building that sense of attachment and security, I'm not sure I see anything wrong with it.

[amayzie]

Yeah- i wear hamish a lot more than some of my friends do their babies- and he is happy to explore all over the shop when we're out...

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Hugs!!  This is starting to get me, too, and it drives me nuts!  I think it doesn't help that I still have to pump at work so people think that a) that's hard (which it is, of course) and b) it means I'm a little less productive than everyone else and I wonder if that bugs some people.  So they're always saying "wow, you're still nursing??  how long will do you do it?"  etc etc.  I try not to get too annoyed but sometimes it's hard.  It's none of your business how I feed my child, I want to say!!

[amayzie]

I still can't get over the fact that all these reactions are about babies under the age of 2!! And some under the age of 1!!!!! I could see that if it was a 4 year old running up for a feed at the shopping centre that people might question- that's not really seen much.. but UNDER 2!!!!!!!!!! AT HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Insane- INSANE!!

I've just decided to become even more rabid in by plan to extended breast feed! I also think it's crazy that BFing past 1 is considered 'extended'..

[becj86]

Well, DH said today that its time to wean... "that was the plan, wasn't it, feed til he's one?". It was the plan while I was pregnant. Now I just don't want to force him to stop BFing when he still wants it.

[tigerlilly905]

I've just decided to become even more rabid in by plan to extended breast feed! I also think it's crazy that BFing past 1 is considered 'extended'..

I completely agree. I've actually read quite a few people who believe the same. A few pro-bf'ing groups I follow refer to weaning before the age of 2 as "premature" or "preterm" weaning. Many don't like the term "extended" breastfeeding either, they usually use the term "full term breastfeeding" (full term being anywhere between the ages of 2-7 years when the child naturally weans)  I prefer the use of "full term breastfeeding" as well.

((hugs)) becj86... what does  your DH say about your feelings on the subject? Have you been able to talk to him about it?