Support for dropping the nap-part 6

[barbaraz78]

Barbara I agree with literally everything you have just said, it is so true and you are a very wise Woman 

Thanks Vicki!  you're so nice well, I am only always thinking about things and having lots of doubts, but at the end of the day I find it is useful putting all our opinions under discussion to be a better parent the day after. So after passing months stressing myself about *perfect* 11.5 h nights I realized that this is not what F really needs. It was something that I need to have a more predictable life. But in the same way in which I can sleep longer one night and shorter the other one, he can do the same being equilibrate.
That said, we are still on holiday now, so we can be more relaxed with wu and bt. Will see what happens when he's back to preschool.

I do find that with BT after 7.30pm I am done with being Mammy and need some time, but that is the selfish view point I guess  . Having said that on early nap days he is down by 8.00 ish which is not too bad.

Well, I think that mum's selfish view point is important too! I am not a morning person so I prefer later bt (and actually I prefer having later bt because they fit well in our family routine when we work) but before 7 am for me it is deep night! :-D
It depends from the Italian schedule, I think...
So, I think that mum's and dad's needing have to take into account. But when you find a good compromise for those and have a kid that is happy and rested, you don't have to force things to find *perfect* 12 h nights if your kid is happy with 10.5.

And yes, with F we are in a good period and I hope it lasts long. I suspect it is because of holiday at the beach and all the physical activity he's doing here. Not looking forward to go home

[Bex09]

Hi ladies, we are in a right mess again! This 1:0 transition has been the worst yet for us, I just can't seem to get it right. We have cut DD's nap down to one hour, which worked for a while but then we started getting BT refusal, EW and the past few days C has been so grumpy it has been awful. She is having meltdowns at the drop of a hat over nothing. So clearly OT I am thinking

So I have let her nap longer for the past 2 days and it has helped the EW but not improved her mood! The problem is her day is so long and BT so late. Plus although she is clearly OT she still refuses BT unless she has a 6 hr A time to bed. It makes no sense... if you are tired then go to bed early, but NO. Grrrr.

[Mama_Mia]

((((HUGS))))

Sorry thats about all I can offer. We havent had any major issues "yet" I got lucky having a low sleep needs boy that handles OT well.

[Truly Blessed]

Plus although she is clearly OT she still refuses BT unless she has a 6 hr A time to bed.

Hi Bex, this is exactly the same in our house. What has helped, and is only possible due to Sam's night having shortened is to put him down for his 1 hour nap after as little as 5 hours (as early as possible basically) then it gives you the 6 hours (usually 6.5 for us) hours to BT that you need. So we are doing this right now (on a day when nothing gets in the way)

WU 7.00 (wake him if he sleeps on)

Nap 12/12.30 to 1/1.30

BT  7.30/8.00

a 13 hour day is a real result for us these days.

Also accidently I came across a way for Sam to take his nap even earlier some days. He was playing in his room shortly before WD time and he put himself to sleep. So some days when I can I do that now, I keep the blind closed so it is quite subdued lighting but he can still see for playing.

It doesn't work perfectly every day, because sometimes he takes a while to settle at BT (and sometimes after a really bad night I allow up to 1.5 CU nap as long as I can get him down early enough) but it is a really good game plan for us. Sam is averaging 11.5 to 12 hours in 24.

I am also staying with him at BT. I call it our special 5 minutes and tell him we can't talk otherwise Mammy has to leave. I am out within 10 mins most nights. For weeks we have had shouting and screaming and throwing at BT so the above is far preferable. Turns out there are a few of us doing this in order to get through this age/1-0 transition. My bloody pressure has gone down and Sam is getting more sleep at night.

That was meant to say bloody pressure! LOL Freudian slip 

HTH Hun. Hang in there!

Vicki.x.

[Bex09]

Lol! Thanks Vicki that does help and is basically what I try to do most days too. Past 2 days/nights have been good with no BT refusal or NW or EW so fingers crossed we are back on track. C will go down after a shorter am A time so if I can get her asleep by 12.30 she can have a longer nap until 2pm then BT at 8pm. C is averaging about 12.5 hrs in 24. I have found it is the A time to bed that is crucial to everything. Her days are always at least 13 hrs now if not longer, I guess they will shorten again when she drops the nap. I am dreaming of lovely long 13 hr nights then! Lol.

[Truly Blessed]

I said bloody pressure twice when I meant to correct to blood pressure LOL...what am I like!?

I'm dreaming of those lovely long nights too!  Good Luck Sweetie.

x.

[babyrose]

Ugh I think thats us here already, nap refusal for 2 days straight now. I thought other issues were the problem but im just so confused! He will yawn all day abd then refuse but two hrs later lying on the floor sleeping!! A has never dibe that since ge was a baby.
I also thought it was the bbb that has started all this?

[Bex09]

Oh no Nicola sorry to hear that hun. How does A sleep when he has had a no nap day? I have to say C usually manages really well with a no nap day, with EBT and will sometimes tag on lost sleep. But if she has more than one no nap day in a row the OT tends to creep in. I am lucky as C still loves her nap! It is BT we have trouble with. Has A got his 2nd year molars yet? C has cut one point of the top ones but they are still on the move, which really isn't helping the situation.

[babyrose]

Hi bex, awful! He was asleep by half 6 last night nw's of 9:30,12:30,2:15 and then up fir the day at 5:10! I think I should have put him down sooner.

I can feel and see the molars,he has the docs again this avo to see if its another ear infection.
Oh your so lucky! I miss those days already!!

[Bex09]

Oh no you poor thing! Hugs hun. I know I am lucky that C sleeps so well on a no nap day and that she still likes her nap, but it works the other way because I wake her to preserve BT and then she gets OT and grumpy. If I don't cap the nap we get BT refusal for hours! Then EW too! Feel like I can't win at the minute.

[Truly Blessed]

Ugh (HUGS) Ladies. Sam used to be great with a 10.5 hour no nap day at first then we did 3 weeks no nap had an OT melt down, now I have to cap nap at 1 hour every day and he NEVER wants to wake up  BT resistance and short nights...isn't it just exhausting!  and now any 'no nap' day means he won't settle before he's been up 12 hours and then he doesn't sleep any more than 11 hours.

It is constantly changing which makes it so hard to know what's for the best.

Vicki.x.

[babyrose]

It is hard, we were out today early(waking of 5:10 this morning) I was hoping he would falk asleep in the car which he has. He is still sleeping just now we are still in the car as I type! At least its a wee catch up.

Good luck x

[barbaraz78]

now I have to cap nap at 1 hour every day and he NEVER wants to wake up  BT resistance and short nights...

Vicki, what happens if you let him nap longer sometimes? Is it possible that he's little OT and needs to catch up from time to time? It can be that bt resistance is OT, or developmental. It can be also associated to BBB... I noticed that many children of this age have bt resistance when they are in BBB. Luckily F is still in his cot (we will have to change soon because he's becoming too small, but I'll try to keep him there as much as I can), but he's having some troubles with sleep now (NW and bt resistance). However, I believe that for us they are developmental, because he's starting to be scared of "wolfs" and when he wakes sometime needs only to be reassured. I imagine we would have much more trouble in a BBB, where he could get out...

[Truly Blessed]

At least he has plenty of A time to BT Nicola. Mind you yesterday I allowed Sam a 2 hour nap as he fell asleep at 11 and I woke him at 1, he was so OT. However the result was a 7.5 hour A time until he would settle for BT! and then a 10 hour night...sigh 

Sometimes I find having a long nap makes him feel better because the sleep is spread but doesn't actually help him CU.

x.

[barbaraz78]

yesterday I allowed Sam a 2 hour nap as he fell asleep at 11 and I woke him at 1, he was so OT. However the result was a 7.5 hour A time until he would settle for BT! and then a 10 hour night...sigh 

ouch!